Sorry this took so long guys... I'm a freshmen now, finally :) college is taking up all my time!


l-l

we're under the sheets,

and you're killing me.

In our house made of paper,

your words all over me

l-l

x. ellie goulding

"At any rate, it isn't an event that should be taken lightly," Carlise was explaining sternly, over his steak. It didn't need to be said that the meal was relatively untouched, aside from a few polite bites to his potatoes. "The Vampire Movement of 1701 is one of the most remarkable cultural revolutions I ever had the gracious chance to witness—of course, it should be remembered that the general population of Russia at the time had been vampires. The legitimate population, anyway. Even the great Peter himself had begged the Zraven vampire clan to turn him during the northern war—

"And you were there for that?" Harry blinked, astounded.

"Of course I was! I had been touring the Baltic region around that time—

Edward made an exasperated noise in the back of his throat, so low it was even inaudible for the acute hearing of his family. He'd meant for this dinner with Harry to be… somewhat romantic, though he was quickly realizing now that it was quickly becoming only a fantasy.

Harry's unending fascination with vampire culture had, at first, been somewhat of a relieved blessing, but quickly turned into a vague annoyance as that seemed to be the only topic at hand.

What had he thought, though?

This was a family dinner, after all. He supposed that if he wanted something remotely romantic, he should have at least reserved a table for two somewhere quiet. Not invite him over to meet his rowdy and quite large family.

At least Harry seemed to be enjoying himself. He'd been hanging off every other word out of Carlisle's mouth, and had even coaxed Jasper into a joke. Him and Rosalie got along horrifically well, his blonde sister practically draped over him—and worse, Emmett didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, Emmett seemed assured that Harry was completely homosexual.

Which then brought his thoughts round full circle.

To him and Harry.

Emmett seemed to be under the stout impression that Harry was blatantly gay, and Rosalie seemed to think of him as something of her gay best friend. Of course, the two had been wrong before, and the rest of his family's thoughts were boringly polite. Not even Alice was stirring up trouble—in fact, she was thinking of rabbits. Edward didn't bother with the ludicrousness of it.

He was too engrossed inwardly debating whether or not the idea of asking Harry on an actual date had any merit. He was overjoyed of course, that Harry got along so well with his family—but was quickly realizing that being comfortable with the people close to him and actually having a romantic relationship were two entirely different things.

Well what did you expect, inviting him over to meet your family? Hot sex on the table? Really Edward.

Curse Alice's inconceivably omniscient abilities.

And you really shouldn't be depressing over this! Everyone's getting along so well—I think it's wonderful!

Alice did have a point.

Edward sighed, dropping his mostly unused fork back onto his table with a slight smile, intercepting his father mid-rant on the Czech Republic. "Try not to bore him too much Dad."

Carlisle paused, astounded. "Bore him? Now my dear child, if you had half the fascination with such a veritable subject as your charge here, why perhaps this wouldn't be your tenth time applying to law school." The doctor joked with a smile.

"Tenth time?" Harry balked. "Whatever for? I can't imagine you leaving without a degree on the first!"

"Well there are a lot of law schools." Emmett pointed out dryly. "But I'm pretty sure Edward's gone to most of them."

The subject in question only irritably moved his potatoes.

"Truly?" Harry blinked. "How many times have you graduated?"

At this, the vampire practically leapt up. "Would you like to see?"

"Now Edward, that's rude." Esme chided lightly. "At least be polite enough to wait for the boy to finish his dinner!"

"Oh that's quite alright Mrs. Cullen." Harry excused, getting up as well. "It was fantastic, by the way, but I'm mostly finished. I hope I haven't bored you all taking so long."

"Nonsense!" The vampire laughed, looking pleased with his compliments.

Harry hoisted up his plate. "And where should I put this—?"

"Oh don't worry about that dear, I'll just put these all in the sink."

"No need!" Exclaimed the wizard, drawing his wand and in a fluid motion levitating the plates.

They all floated towards the sink in an orderly fashion, beginning to clean themselves and scrape off leftovers—of which there were many—into the garbage. Much to the vampire family's surprise the sink turned itself on, brushes and scrubbers coming to life, soap squirting itself onto sponges. The dishes merrily cleaned themselves with only a flick of the wizard's wand.

Harry turned back to the delighted vampire family, and then to Edward. "Now where were these diplomas?"

"Wicked!" Emmett called. "Would you mind doing that to my room?"

"And something perhaps for the smell?" Rosalie added.

"Come now you two, don't bother our guest!" Esme leapt to her feet, giving Harry a motherly squeeze on the shoulder. "And thank you so much dear."

"Not a problem." Harry replied genuinely.

Edward lead him over towards he staircase as his family conversed and laughed back at the table, fascinated over his display. It was quieter this far away from the rest of the vampires, more subdued. Edward thought the mood had changed somewhat, or perhaps he was just being hopeful. Harry said nothing at all, trailing in front of him, eyes darting about the furnishings of the house. Thankfully, none of his rambunctious family had tagged along—most likely because they were all aware of his rather blatant attempt for some time alone with the wizard.

"It's a very beautiful home." He complimented decorously, reaching out to skim the side of a lavish, ornate vase.

Edward shrugged. "We've had decades to refine it." And then, adding, "And it doesn't hold a candle to yours."

Harry replied with a bark of laughter. "Mine?" He echoed, astounded. "Mine's full of junk and is cluttered with all sorts of mismatched things. It lacks the… symmetry of yours."

"But mine lacks the magic." Retorted the vampire, finally summoning up his courage to place a casual arm around Harry's waist. "Now, if you would allow me to direct you to the degrees…"

Harry let out a breath when he saw them all, lined perfectly on the staircase. Or perhaps the rapid beating of his heart had less to do with the diplomas and more to do with the vampire's hand curled around his waist. It felt strangely intimate, holding him like this, and Edward could feel the heat of him through the material of his shirt—a heady, arousing warmth.

Not for the first time he wished he could read Harry's mind.

But for now, he remained entirely unreadable.

His eyes were entirely on the walls of shining frames, verdant gaze never lingering once on the vampire. Edward wondered if perhaps he could feel this unrelenting tension as well, a palpable humidity which lay thick around them.

If he did, he didn't comment on it at all. "Harvard, twice?" Harry squinted at them. "Huh. And you didn't even change your name."

"Smith was a very common last name at the time." Edward shrugged.

"What is it with the legal system that has you so fascinated?" The wizard pondered aloud. "All your other siblings at least attempted other subjects—though Emmett seems to have failed—but you've become a lawyer at least ten times."

Edward blinked, wondering if Harry was seriously interested in something he thought so mundane, or was simply grasping for casual small talk. His face was, much to the vampire's vexation, entirely unreadable.

"It… seemed the most productive." He shrugged. "I always wanted to be a doctor, but…"

He was a vampire. The very idea was somewhat ludicrous.

Harry tilted his head. "Your father's a doctor." He reminded lightly.

"Carlisle's different." Edward protested.

Harry turned in his arm, making no movement to pull it off, to back away. He was frowning, though.

"You don't give yourself enough credit." He said, but Edward almost didn't hear him.

"Harry…" It would be a lot easier to blame it on a love spell. Considering all the various kinds of spells he'd seen Harry use, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to have one. But it couldn't have been that simple. Everything about Harry entranced him, from his unconventional beauty to his quirky, dry humor and his nonchalance at the most backwards of things. Harry was the first and only person to truly make him feel human, but accept that he wasn't human at all. He'd like to blame it on a love spell though, just this once—he'd like to blame it as he inched closer, closing the gap between them.

He felt like he was moving at a lightning pace, or perhaps inching a millennia at a time—it was hard to tell. It felt as if there was not time at all, Harry's eyes closing as he mapped the distance between them, shortening it slowly, or perhaps too quickly, the very concept of time erasing.

He didn't want to rush it, or rather, he tried very hard not to rush it, all too conscious of his pressure against Harry's lips, keeping it chaste and slow. Harry stirred in his arms and Edward's fingers found the hem of his shirt, grazing past it and skimming the warm skin he found at the line of his jeans. So frighteningly warm, like a blazing furnace against the chilled pads of his fingers. Harry shivered at the contact, skin rippling delightfully beneath his palms and he almost groaned aloud at such an insignificant reaction, the feel of it almost too much.

His eyes fluttered open. "Edward, I—

"Tell me if I'm rushing it." He interrupted, grazing his lips against the other boy's once more. "Tell me and I'll stop." The, tell me if you don't want this went unsaid but understood.

The wizard nodded, looking a curious mix of terrified and wonton.

He stared deeply into those unnatural bottle green eyes, the moment locked in place like a slow-motion train wreck.

He had the softest, warmest lips Edward had ever felt, and belatedly he could feel himself shaking. His hand shivered against the soft material of Harry's plaid shirt. Not from any cold, but a sinful mix of elation and fear. The boy opened his mouth, just slightly, and Edward couldn't help but plunge in to that warm cavern, deepening the kiss with a filthy scrape of teeth and tongue. Harry, who had been mostly pliant and unmoving until now, brought his hands up slowly, almost nervously, to his neck, giving a slight gasp when he sucked on his bottom lip. He groaned in response, the slight response from the wizard enough to drive him wild. One of his hands drew down to lightly cup his backside, the other shaking with a conscious effort not to hold his hip to hard.

He knew, of course, that Harry wasn't made of glass, but he may as well have been—it would only take a hard grip to shatter bone, to shove him against the wall and hold him there by his slim hips, ravishing him and every tendon and shudder of muscle underneath his fingertips burning with the heady thrum of warm life and—

Harry's head hit the back of the wall with a slight thump, his mouth pulling away, run ragged red and wet, gasping air. Edward hadn't even realized he'd moved. The other boy was pinned against the wall, one sneaker dangling off the floor and the other grasping at his hip, two hands clutching his neck struggling to keep balanced.

He met the wizard's eyes for a brief, sparked moment; the fear in his eyes probably palpable. God… if he had hurt him—he hadn't even felt himself move, an instinctual reaction at finally having what he wanted in his arms. Harry's eyes contrasted with the rush of heat to his cheeks, mouth gasping and open at hell, he looked wrecked.

For a second, he didn't want to let go, the feel of Harry so close and in his arms, one of his hands thumbing his hip bone and the other obscenely lifting him, splayed on his backside gave him a greedy, delirious feel of power and arousal. The animalistic mine, mine, mine was almost overpowering, near taking over him, but coupled with the terror that he'd hurt Harry—

And guilt.

He set him back on the ground as quickly but carefully as possible, unable to look at his eyes. God he had, he had—

Harry's hand, feather-light on his arm was almost too much to bear.

he had almost lost control.

"You should go." He swallowed, thickly.

Harry stayed unmoving, still enclosed between the wall and the solid wall of his body. Immediately he moved back to give him space.

"Edward…" He couldn't tell what Harry was thinking from his voice, and wouldn't dare to look at his face to gauge his reaction. Fear, probably. Unadulterated terror.

He had wanted to keep it chaste—keep it slow… he hadn't even realized he'd moved at all, completely drunk and lost at the feel of his skin and the power.

It was disgusting.

Alice. Alice.

His sister either had miraculous powers of telepathy, or Jasper must have relayed his apparent distress to her. Or maybe she had seen his blatant romantic flop in one of her visions—even more embarrassing. Regardless, she quickly maneuvered herself in the hallway, Edward steadily putting more and more distance between them while avoiding Harry's gaze.

"There you two are!" She called cheerily, and he near sagged with visible relief and the reprieve.

"Harry, Esme wants to know if you'd like to stay for dessert?"

Edward caught the slight profile of her face as she poked her head down the hall, the slight quirk of concern to her brow.

Harry started, looking like he almost jumped out of his bones. "Oh, uh… perhaps another time? I really should get going… I have an appointment early tomorrow."

"Oh how unfortunate!" Alice cried. "I suppose another time, then. I'll hold you to it!"

The wizard moved away from him, already climbing unsteadily down the stairs. "Of course…"

.

.

.

It almost seemed foolish to think of any other outcome that could have happened.

It wasn't like Harry hadn't thought about it. He did accept the offer, after all… and the idea of dinner, of going to his house had stirred up all kinds of scenarios, half-formed and mused upon in the hazy, sleepy hours before dawn.

So no, he hadn't entirely been taken surprise by Edward coming on to him.

But perhaps he was a bit in his reaction.

I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life!

He sighed, hanging his head.

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to go to the bank on a Saturday… with nothing but his thoughts to accompany him. But he had been feeling restless at the thought of a day of doing nothing but light homework, and had bolted at the chance to get out of his house, and away from his thoughts.

But in the Gringotts line, there was little else to do but think.

About Edward.

And being suddenly and ruthlessly pinned to a wall.

And liking it.

I'm pretty sure that's not normal… He thought morosely to himself, head in hand, resting his arms on his knees. But it was rather undeniable. Something about that had unquestionably turned him on, and honestly he was surprised by it. He hadn't known what to say when Edward all but kicked him out. What could he have said, when he didn't even know how to express it in words?

Edward seemed to have gotten the wrong impression, though.

The guy wouldn't even look at him, only hastily backing off and refraining from being any closer than two feet while he stiffly and awkwardly bid farewell to his family. In fact, he had almost looked… ashamed?

Damn, what a mess.

"Why, do you always come to the bank on Saturdays or is this just a terrible coincidence?"

Harry looked up, startled at the voice.

A rather dashing, and halfway familiar fellow with a smear of coiffed dark hair moved in front of him. He had the highest of wizarding couture, of which Harry only knew from discarded witch magazines Ginny left littered around the burrow. He seemed about Harry's age, but certainly didn't go to Hogwarts. In one fine, porcelain hand he held a wizarding newspaper, the other tucking in his pocket watch.

He blinked at the dark red eyes, suddenly recalling a similar memory.

"I could say the same for you." He said coolly, after regaining some composure. "Do you always come to the bank on Saturdays, or is it some sort of strange vampire etiquette?"

Harry hadn't been sure if he'd offend or not, but his gamble paid off when a surprised smile broke out on the boy's handsome face.

"You've figured us out." He drawled wryly, seating himself beside Harry in an enviously fluid, graceful motion. "It's part of the curse of being vampire—if we don't, we turn to stone."

Harry grinned, shaking his head. "Really though…"

The vampire shrugged. "Saturdays are normally the most convenient day to go. Unfortunately, I spend the vast majority of my weekend morning attending to the fickle whims of Gringotts Goblins."

"They are a bit temperamental, aren't they?" He mused.

"And you?" Dark crimson eyes turned to him curiously.

"I just…" Harry looked away. The vampire's pale skin glimmered unnaturally in the wan lighting of the bank, reminding him poignantly of another pale-skinned vampire he was rather well acquainted with. "Wanted to get out of the house, I suppose."

"You've picked a fascinating alternative." Was the brunette's dry response. Harry supposed that truly though, he wasn't good company at the moment, and probably deserved the satire. Yet the vampire sat down, anyway.

"Harry, was it?" The vampire tilted his head.

Harry flushed. "Oh, uh, yes that's right. I'm sorry… I know we've introduced, but what was it—?"

"Alec?"

"Alec, then. Right, sorry." The wizard nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "And in retrospect I suppose I could have picked a more… engaging substitute. It hadn't struck me at the time though. Honestly I've been thinking so much, it seems I haven't been thinking at all. Does that make any sense?"

"Not really, no." Alec replied flatly. "However, I've nothing better to do but pick apart the doubtlessly unhinged recesses of your mind, so, fire away. "

"Unhinged." Harry echoed with a scoff, rolling his eyes.

"Eccentric then." The vampire leaned back, appraising the wizard with a slight smile, almost like an extending olive branch. "Now, what is it that has you thinking so much you can't think at all?"

"Well… Well I've just…" He flushed scarlet, sputtering a bit before simply spitting the words out in a rush, "I've never been in love before, but I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the in-between now, or perhaps a little closer to complete anarchical confusion than I'd personally like to be… You wouldn't happen to know if this is what love feels like, would you? I'd honestly like to know before I start spouting out things… or worse, giving the wrong impression…"

"You'd have to explain your symptoms." He doctored with amusement.

"I feel like I have a stomach ulcer." Harry replied, flatly. "Or a flobberworm stuck in my stomach, eating away at my entrails. It's an awful feeling and it's all I can think about—and it makes me feel so foolish! I've never cared so much about what someone thinks of me. Or, for that matter, what I think of someone else."

"You don't know how you feel?" Alec mused.

Harry shook his head, rapidly. "He—I mean…" He looked quickly towards the vampire, who only shrugged. "Well… he, um, kissed me, once. I didn't know what to think—I've been told I'm oblivious but never has that fact blindsided me so much before. I hadn't even thought it a possibility he might like me like that, he's a, uh," He chanced another glance at Alec, but so far the other boy was taking it all in with an air of amiable neutrality, "he's a vampire, and I'm not, so…"

At this, he seemed to at least get a reaction from the other boy, a slightly stunned look and the subtle drop of his mouth, crimson eyes widening.

"But yes I've given it some thought but we're good friends, incredibly good friends… perhaps even the best of friends? And I'm so scared we'll lose that over my inability to read my own mind—if only I was a legillimens! Maybe then I could just use legillimency on myself and figure it out!—I don't want to lead him on or anything like that, but I don't even know what I want myself."

Alec took it all in with a growing dark look, Harry watching it take over his face slowly with growing trepidation. Finally, it cleared like a storm break and the vampire shook his head. "I don't think you'll have to worry about leading him on—I think what you should be focusing on right now is yourself. Do you find him attractive?"

Harry flushed. "I'd think so, yes."

"And you obviously get along. Is it because he's a vampire?"

"Oh certainly not." Harry laughed, relieved at such an easy question. "That never bothered me before, and it most assuredly doesn't know."

If my reaction to him is anything to go by…

"I'm just cautious… I guess." He decided upon finally. "My relationships up until now have been somewhat bland if not entirely nonexistent. And… and I get the feeling that Edward—uh, that's his name—is more than that. What he wants from me seems real, y'know? Not, not like all the girls at my school who just want to feel pretty or the boys who want to look cool… its deeper than that."

He was met with silence again, heady and falling upon his shoulders and only interspersed with the low drone of a goblin calling, "Next, please" into the morose line.

Finally, Alec scratched his chin. "Edward, eh?"

Harry blinked.

A brief look crossed his face, before disappearing. "Well, you're intuition is certainly spot on." He laughed, before continuing on. "I think everything you said is true. It would be advisable of you to be cautious—and it seems to me like you get what Edward's feeling."

Harry nodded. His hand fell from his neck, moving to play with the fringe of his shirt. "He—he feels protective of me, that I can tell. Like he has to protect me from everything, even from himself. He…" Harry chuckled. "He's got quite the complex."

"I assure you, that's normal for vampires." Alec retorted easily, a twinkle in his eye. "Brooding vampires, that is."

"Oh, he's very broody." Harry agreed. "We're somewhat opposites, actually. I'm not sure how this friendship even came to be… and I definitely wouldn't want to ruin it. I just—I know he's waiting, now. I feel like I should do something, come up with some kind of answer—

"Don't rush it." Alec interrupted. "That's my advice. He's made up his mind for some time now, it sounds like. He can wait a little more. Don't feel obligated to give him an answer right away because he's made you aware of his feelings. I'd suggest you sleep on it."

"That's…" Harry rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "That's very sound advice."

Alec stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head with a chuckle. "No, that's very generic advice. It just also happens to work more often than not."

"Regardless," Harry continued on, smiling slightly. "It's good advice. I appreciate it."

"Anytime." The vampire replied, with surprising sincerity.

.

.

.

"You're beating yourself up over this, again." Alice frowned at him, hanging upside down.

Edward had been in his room for the greater part of two days now—without any inclination to move. There didn't seem to be a purpose to life anymore, or rather, less of a purpose than usual. And without Harry, it was as if his world upturned dark, and all that was good and beautiful withered away. Or something poetic like that. He'd gotten rather poetic, sitting here in the morose, merciless silence of his room with only his own brooding for company.

But he didn't want to see any of his family, nor did he want to hunt. In fact, he'd like to wither away with all that was good and beautiful, or maybe just into the carpet he'd been sitting on for almost forty-eight hours.

"I know it, too. I don't even have to ask Jasper. It's disgusting, really."

Edward still didn't reply.

Alice pouted, swinging a bit on Edward's balcony railing. It wasn't really all that comfortable, but Edward looked slightly more amusing upside-down.

"He'll come back, you know." She advised lightly. "And for the record, you were kinda douchey kicking him out like that. What'd he do? Are you ever going to tell me what happened? Actually, are you ever going to talk? Mute isn't really in, you know."

"Alice." He rasped, really not wanting to call it pleading but it was unbearably close to it.

"Edweird." She parroted, drawling out his name. "Stop feeling depressed over yourself and call him. Better yet, go brood in his house. That way you at least have a slight percentage of working this out."

"I can't." He groaned. Okay, now he was just whiny. "He hates me."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic—I know it's practically in your nature, but I assure you your life is not a soap opera—he's probably just confused! You only confessed, or should I say, made it even more obvious than it already was a few days ago! Give him some time to adjust to the idea—he's never had a relationship, you know?"

"He hasn't?" Edward's head shot up, looking, if possible, even more stricken.

Alice blinked. "Oh. Maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

He made a strangled, slightly dying noise, curling in on himself again. Great, now not only had he probably terrified Harry, he'd probably ruined romantic relationships for him for the rest of his life! He was worse than a monster.

"Stop feeling so guilty!" Alice snapped, righting herself quickly and thumping him on the head. "Honestly, pick yourself up and get over there! No one wants to deal with you being such a squidward up here, Edward! Why do you think they sent me?"

"That doesn't even make sense." He protested, weakly.

"Don't ignore what I'm saying!" She warned, poking him in the cheek. "This could be really, really great, Edward. Why don't you just go over there and work it out? Be a little patient."

"I am patient." He refuted, somewhat childishly. "And I can wait for him to work it out, okay? I just… I think I already ruined it."

"That's impossible." Alice replied, with so much assuredness he almost believed her.

"How would you know?" He asked, sullenly.

She gave him a solid shove for that. "Because he's here, stupid!" She called over her shoulder, unlocking his bedroom door and walking out.

Edward blinked, before breathing deeply. He'd been thinking so much on Harry he hadn't even noticed when the spicy, heady smell of magic almost overwhelming his senses. He could feel it singe the air, tingle against his skin and seem to reach into his core and awaken a part of him he hadn't realized existed.

Well, perhaps it was so overwhelming because Harry was standing right there.

Edward lost his voice at the sight of him, mouth running dry and opening slightly in surprise.

Harry was framed against the doorway, the light from the hall lining him in warm gold. He looked… unsure. Tentative. It was a look that Edward had been attempting to keep off of his normally cheerful face, but seemed to have failed spectacularly at. His glasses reflected light, a bit, making his eyes almost blinding.

"Hey…" His voice sounded like magic too, soft and chimerical, like it was a spell in itself. "Do you mind if I come in?"

Everything Harry did was perfect.

That, or Edward was just ass over kettle in love with him, and couldn't find imperfection anywhere—not when every imperfection was perfect in his eyes.

Also, he couldn't talk, so mostly he just nodded dumbly.

Harry let himself in, shutting the door, as if it would give them any actual privacy. He looked nervous as his eyes darted around the darkened gloom.

"I've never been in your room…" He said softly, almost wonderingly.

Finally, his vocal chords kicked into gear again. "It's nothing special." His voice was hoarse from being unused for so long.

Harry shook his head. "It reminds me of you…" He seemed to go off on a tangent then, looking up into the rafters and the bookshelves for a moment, before shaking his head and returning to Earth. "Sorry. Can I sit down?"

He sputtered a bit, before just nodding again.

"We're okay, right, Edward?" He asked seriously, as he kneeled in front of him, dangerously close.

Edward stared back into the everclear green. "…Are we?" He croaked out.

Harry almost looked exasperated. "Yes, I'd like to think so. Unless you're upset with me or unhappy—

"No!" He cut off, quickly. "No. Never."

"Well…" Harry looked at him, unsure. "I'm not, either. I don't want you to think that. You haven't done anything wrong, alright? I just… I wasn't kidding when I said I needed time. I'm really confused—and I've never done this before—and I don't want you to be my experiment, okay? But I also don't want you to stop being my friend. Okay?"

"Okay." And then, blinking. "Yes. Yes definitely. I just… God I don't want to hurt you. You mean ever—you mean a lot to me. I don't want to ruin what we have. But I just… I just…" He looked away, helplessly. I want more, I want everything, Burned at the tip of his tongue.

"I know." Harry interrupted, as if he truly did. His eyes were serious, and the set of his mouth was stern, but the lines of his brow were soft, tender almost. "I don't either. That's why I'm asking you to wait, okay? Just… just for a little bit more. I'll have it figured out by then."

He smiled then, and since Edward was in such a depressingly poetic mood, he thought it only fitting that in an ironic twist of fate all that was good and beautiful in the world returned in that moment. Harry did not wish to spear and hang him in silver and gut him like a fish—or even worse, take off for the hills. He was kneeling right in front of him, and smiling.

He breathed. "Okay, I can do that."

.

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but who cares about all that; DAN BERGSTEIN IS DOWN HERE:

(On Eclipse)

If this book were a bowl of Lucky Charms, this chapter would be the oddly-shaped bits of cereal that no one really likes, and that only exist because people would feel too guilty eating an entire bowl of marshmallows. In other words, this chapter is boring, and taste like sugary cardboard.

Sure, Jacob pops up. But he doesn't ride a motorcycle, turn into a wolf, or summon lightening bolts from the sky. Emmett and his swords are nowhere to be seen. There is no action, of course. No one slaps Edward. No one eats Bella. And by the end of the chapter, we haven't learned much except that Bella is blinded by love, and Jacob is a bit of a racist.

The chapter starts off with Bella complaining, again. She wants to be turned into a vampire, because the evil Victoria could attack at any time. But the Cullens are keeping an eye on the situation, and tell Bella not to worry. Jasper uses his super powers to calm Bella down, but this only works when Jasper and Bella are in the same room, much like my scented candle (Christmas Cupcake), which I have now named Jasper.

When Edward and Bella are alone, he reminds her that if she accepts his marriage proposal, he will transform her into a vampire right now. But she refuses the proposal for reasons that are too baffling to think about any longer. Honestly. No, really. Honestly.