Disclaimer: I do not own Adventures in Wonderland; it belongs to Disney (who seriously need to share it with the world and put it out on DVD).

Okay, before you read this, I have a theory that once Alice goes to Wonderland that she cannot return home until she learns whatever lesson she needs to be taught. I mean, she stays there for days at a time and never goes back home to change her clothes. Maybe I'm being rediculous but that's how I see it. But yeah, it explains the first couple sentences of this fic.

Anyway, this is basically what I think would happen if Hatter and Hare traveled to our world.


Alice walked from the Queen's palace through the woods of Wonderland. Now that she finally knew how to spell the word "gobbledygook" she could go home. Just as she came up to the now appearing mirror that would take her back to her room, Hatter and Hare ran up to her and quickly stopped, causing themselves to knock into each other.

"Hey guys," Alice greeted them, "What's up?"

"Uh…" The two of them exchanged uncertain glances.

"Ah," Hatter started hesitantly, "Hare and I were wondering… well it's just this little thing we've been talking about and… if it's not too much trouble—"

"Can we go to your world with you?" Hare interrupted.

Alice blinked, "Why?"

"We're curious as to what it's like," Hare explained.

"Yeah, so can we?"

The girl stared hard at them, debating on whether or not to take them seriously.

They folded their hands and pleaded, "Pleeeeeeaaasssse!!!"

Alice frowned, "I don't know, my parents probably wouldn't like you guys in the house."

"Oh they won't even know we're there!" Hatter attempted to reassure her.

She still wasn't convinced. These two were anything but subtle. She looked at them hard.

"You guys swear to behave?"

"Cross my heart," Hare pledged and did so as he spoke. Hatter followed suit.

Alice sighed, "Okay, but just this one time."

They beamed. "Oh thanks Alice!" Hatter exclaimed, "You won't regret this!"

"We promise!"

Alice nodded uncertainly and turned toward the mirror, "Right…" She stepped through and disappeared in the rippling glass. Hatter poked it and watched his reflection bend and wave.

"Whoa." The two of them shuddered with eagerness.

"Okay," Hare adjusted his jacket excitedly, "Let's go!"

They both attempted to climb through at the same time and only succeeded in crashing together. After several minutes of ridiculous struggling, since neither of them were genius enough to go one at a time, they finally managed to squeeze through the portal and found themselves in Alice's room. The girl was standing by her desk cuddling Dinah.

"Well," said Alice, "this is it. What do you guys think?"

Hatter looked around and nodded in approval, "Oh not bad Alice I— WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!"

"What?!" Alice whipped around to see Hatter digging through a pile of clothes on the ground by his feet. Setting Dinah on her bed, she hurried over and saw that they belonged to Hare.

"What happened to Mr. Hare?"

"I don't know!" Hatter shouted frantically, "He was right next to me a second ago! Hare old buddy, where are you?!" Throwing away Hare's pants, he paused. There, sitting on Alice's carpet and sniffing at a pair of glasses, was a real hare.

Hatter fell to his knees and picked up the hare with trembling hands, "H… Hare? Is that you?" Hare, unable to speak since the human part of him had left, just twitched his nose in reply.

"Oh my God!" Alice nearly fell over with shock.

Hatter was on the verge of a heart attack, "Wha… what the fu- how did this happen?!"

"W-well," Alice stuttered, "I suppose when an animal who can talk in Wonderland comes to this world… they- hell I don't know! You expect me to know the science?"

"Well I know one thing," Hatter stood, holding Hare almost like a baby, "If I can't come here with Hare and not be able to enjoy it with him, then I don't want to be here at all. I'm sorry Alice, but your world sucks, we're leaving!"

He left through the mirror, Hare in arms, without another word.

"Hey wait!" Alice called, "You forgot—"

He didn't hear her. He was too occupied with hoping that Hare would return to his normal self when they were in Wonderland again. When they came out on the other side, Hatter blinked a few times and almost fell over under the suddenly heavy weight of a man-sized Hare.

"Hare!" Hatter beamed with excitement, "You're back!"

"Yeah," Hare murmured, quite dazed, "Could you please put me down?"

"Oh sure," Hatter set him on the ground, but Hare instantly leaned against Hatter as he couldn't stand on his own.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," Hare answered, still trying to recover from his ordeal, "but I can't see anything."

"Oh that's because you're not wearing your glasses and- ooooohhh shit."

"What?!" Hare clung to Hatter's shoulder, "Is there something wrong with me?"

"Ahh…" It had just occurred to Hatter and this whole time, Hare was standing next to him in the middle of Wonderland, in broad daylight… and in his birthday suit. Hatter scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I sort of left your clothes back at Alice's."

"You what!?" Hare looked down and saw the blurry image of his unclothed body. He screamed and suddenly had the energy to leap into the bushes and hide.

"Oh come on Hare, it's not like I've never seen you like this."

"I'm not worried about you!"

"Well don't worry, the mirror-portal thing is still here, I'll got back quick and get them."

"Please hurry!"

As Hatter disappeared through the mirror a second time, Hare curled up in a fetal position to wait. He glanced around nervously, praying that no one would come around while he was in this state. He even looked up in fear of the Cheshire Cat appearing. Hare gulped, he would too at a time like this- fat purple bastard…

Hare began to fidget with impatience. Hatter had only been gone twenty seconds but time seems to go a lot slower you're stark naked in the middle of the day with only a few bushes to cover you.

Just don't let anyone come by until Hatter gets back! Hare pleaded in his head. Please!

But someone did come. Hare heard him before he saw him, humming away as he rolled by. Without his glasses Hare saw him as a giant fuzzy white blur, but that was enough. He froze.

Oh no! Anyone but Rabbit!

Rabbit was very close to his hiding place now. Hare hid his face and prayed that Rabbit wouldn't see him. But he didn't. He just continued down the path toward the palace and was just about to pass him without notice…

That's when Hatter stepped back through the mirror. Startled by his sudden appearance, Rabbit screamed and tripped over his skates, falling and dropping a package he had been carrying.

"Oh!" Hatter said, genuinely surprised himself, "H-hey there Rabbit."

"My word Hatter, don't scare me like tha- wait a minute…" Rabbit stood and brushed himself off. Hatter said nothing but glanced over at Hare's hiding place where he saw his friend looking back at him with giant, terrified brown eyes.

"Isn't that the portal to Alice's world?" Rabbit asked.

"Uh…" Hatter blinked, "What portal?"

"Hatter, I'm not an idiot. I just saw you walk out of it, and you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Hatter, still trying to play dumb, looked around and saw the mirror behind him, "Oooohh that portal. Well I uh—"

"What were you doing there?"

We're screwed! Hare thought.

"What?" Hatter stated, "I can't go visit my good friend Alice when I feel like it? She comes here all the time?"

Rabbit frowned, still not convinced, "That's all very fine, but what on earth are you doing with Hare's clothes?"

"What clothes?"

I take it back, he's screwed; I'm dead.

Rabbit sighed with exasperation, "The ones you're holding!"

Hatter stuttered looked at the colorful garments in his hands as if he didn't know how they got there. "Oh, I do have them don't I? Eh, how true that is…"

Hare was petrified, even his normally floppy ears had frozen. Why couldn't Rabbit just drop it and leave? Seriously!

Hatter thought fast, "Well you see both mine and Hare's washers are broken and Hare needed his suit washed so Alice offered to wash them and I was just picking it up."

Rabbit blinked, surprised at Hatter's sudden confidence in telling his story, although he didn't fully believe it. He was just about to make a comment when his beeper went off. "Ah! That's the Queen, goodbye Hatter!" And without another word, Rabbit picked up his package and rolled away.

Hatter hadn't realized how tense his shoulders had been until Rabbit left because now the muscles relaxed themselves so much that he almost dropped Hare's suit and he heard a sigh of relief from the bushes.

"Good thinking with the washer story," Hare whispered, just in case anyone else was in ear-shot.

"Why thanks I thought it was pretty nice myself—"

"Can I please have my clothes?"

"Oh, sure."

As Hare dressed himself Hatter fidgeted with his gloves. Then he remembered a question he had wanted to ask.

"So… what was it like?"

"What?"

"You'd changed. You weren't your normal self, so to speak."

"Oh that," Hare zipped up his pants, "It was weird. I felt paranoid and confused, I hardly knew what was going on really, and I had a strong urge to do only two things."

"What?"

"Eat and dig."

They shared a laugh at this then Hare's smile faded.

"Not only that but…" Hare paused, almost uncertain on whether he wanted to say this, "I almost forgot who you were."

Hatter started and whipped around to face Hare, who was currently fastening his suspenders to his pants.

"You did?"

Hare stepped out from the bushes as he put on his jacket, "I saw you there, by the way you were like some sort of giant, and I knew I had seen you somewhere before but I felt as if I didn't know you."

Hatter's mouth was agape. He didn't know what to say, or how to take this.

"I was scared," Hare continued, "That I wouldn't remember, then we came back through the mirror and memories of you and I poured into my head."

"All of them?"

"I hope so."

Hatter fidgeted, almost afraid to ask this, "Do you remember that we're…"

"Yes."

"Oh good," he sighed in relief, he didn't really want to explain to his friend about their… moments.

"I tell you what though," Hare glanced back at the mirror portal nervously as if it were going to suck him back into Alice's world, "I am never going there again."

"Sure you don't want to try it one more time?"

"I would rather walk naked through the fires of hell."

"Well you've had practice," Hatter chuckled and then stopped at Hare's disgruntled look. "Oh, you're not yourself, let's get you some tea." He grasped his friend by the shoulders and led him off to the tea table.

"I'm just glad no one saw me," Hare said thankfully.

Not a moment after they left the scene, a large purple cat appeared right above the bush that had served as Hare's hiding place. He started off with a giggle which quickly grew into a fit of laughter. Something else of theirs that I can use later on, the Cat thought as he vanished, just as quickly as he appeared.

But, needless to say they never went back to the other side.


I thought the ending of this one was pretty blah, with the exception of the last line, but it was mostly filler stuff because I felt that I had made my point way too soon. XD