Rating: PG-13ish? Boykissing and innuendo with a few swear words.

A/N: Written for comment_fic on LJwith the prompt: SGA, author's choice, gay cruise. It got a bit out of control. *g*

Rodney shuffled nervously after entering John's room.

"What's up, Rodney," John asked hesitantly when Rodney didn't seem forthcoming.

"Well, ah, When I told Jeannie I would be back on vacation for two weeks she kinda, um, decided to set up some travel plans for me and, well, ah, it turns out she got two tickets for a cruise and…" Rodney trailed off nervously.

"Rodney?"

"Well…youwannacomewith?"

John squinted, mouthing the sounds Rodney had made in an effort to understand what had been said, "Oh. Uh, sure."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's not like I have anything else planned."

"Oh, right, well, cool."

"Yeah."

"I'll just, ah, be going then." Rodney pointed over his shoulder at the closed door.

"Ok."

~*~

It had been a long day. When they had gated back to earth it had been close to mid-day on Atlantis but before dawn here on earth. Then they had to sit through a massive debriefing and Rodney couldn't help but attract requests for assistance in the SGC labs.

Then there had been the whole flying fiasco. Rodney was never flying with John again. Who knew pilots could be so freaked out when they weren't the ones behind the controls? They were both tired, hungry, and John was still jittery from the panic attack on the plane.

Neither noticed the people around them as they filed onto the boat or made their way to their room. Their room. Jeannie had sent two tickets. Had set up travel plans for two from Colorado. But there was only one room.

"Whoa. What the hell. She only got one room? How could she do that to me?"

"Rodney," John gritted out.

"What? I had kind of been hoping for a nice vacation, not sharing a tiny hole in the wall…"

"Rodney, it's not like we've never shared before. Besides, cruise! Now I'm gonna shower and take a nap before dinner. I don't care what you do but don't you dare wake me up," and just like that John dropped his bag and disappeared into the bathroom.

Rodney huffed, gnawed on his lip for a moment, and decided a nap did sound nice.

~*~

They woke in their usual camped-out-on-an-alien-planet-and-sharing-a-tent positions; Rodney curled lightly around John, who, oddly enough, slept in a near-fetal position. It always made Rodney feel protective. But only for a moment. There were more important things to worry about right now than how Sheppard made him feel. Like a full-course meal on a cruise ship. Rodney grinned. Food. He got up and changed before waking Sheppard then they went in search of something good to eat. It had been entirely too long since they had enjoyed real food.

~*~

Now fully awake and alert John couldn't help but notice his surroundings, and the people they shared a table with, a little more. Rodney was completely unresponsive to anything but the food he savoring like it was his last meal. That was probably a good thing, considering the comments the other men at the table were making.

"Oh, my." He licked his lips and leaned close, too close, to the man next to him. "I wouldn't mind seeing that mouth do other things." And the other man giggled. Really giggled. John shifted, trying to pretend he hadn't been listening.

"I bet he makes noises like that at other times, too," This from a third guy who, strangely enough, was raising a questioning eyebrow at John.

"Ahhh," was about as coherent as he could get to that comment.

A fourth man slapped the third one on the shoulder lightly reprimanding, "be nice now," then turned to John, "so, we've been together for three years, this is our anniversary celebration. What's your story?"

John was still gaping when something slotted into place for him. He stuttered then reached out, grabbed Rodney's arm, and pulled him sputtering indignantly from the restaurant. He ignored the faint catcalls in the distance.

~*~

John released Rodney's arm, practically throwing him onto the bed, and glowered darkly at him.

"That was very dramatic, Colonal, I'm sure but…" He was cut off as John's eyes widened and his hand come out to cover Rodney's mouth.

"Oh my god. Don't call me that here. Don't even think it. Are you insane?"

Rodney pushed away Sheppard's hand.

"Are you going to tell me why you made a scene and pulled me way from the best meal I've had in years?"

John continued to glower but ground out, "we are on a gay cruise."

"A what? Why would you think that?"

"Because it's the truth, Rodney! Didn't you notice a thing at dinner?"

"Well of course I did. The rolls were fresh, you know. And that Alfredo sauce? Wow."

"Rodney! Pay attention. Did you notice how there weren't any female passengers? Or how, despite that, everyone was part of a couple?" John winced, "Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we're on a COUPLES gay cruise!"

Rodney gasped, "Really?" then buried his burning face in his hands, "Oh my god, I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna kill my sister. I can't believe she did this to me."

John had never seen Rodney quite like this before. He wasn't ranting, his tone was quiet and disbelieving. And he looked small. John made a split-second decision and sat next to Rodney, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Rodney looked up, "I'm so sorry John, I can't believe she did this to you."

"Rodney…why?"

Rodney sighed and looked away, "she's trying to play matchmaker. I'm so sorry."

John looked closely at Rodney, "you're gay?"

Rodney cringed and winced, shrinking away from John.

"I'm not gonna hurt you! Jesus McKay, I'm not homophobic!"

"Oh."

"Now, would you look at me?"

Rodney turned around again. The thin smile looked forced, "so, are we gonna be ok?"

John laughed then swiftly backpedaled at the look on Rodney's face, "whoa, whoa, yeah, we're ok. I just can't believe this. It took your sister sneaking you on a gay cruise with me for you to come out. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I didn't think it was a good idea."

"There're a few gay scientists on Atlantis, they've never been bothered by the military. I don't bring those kinds of soldiers over."

"I know. I didn't want you to know."

"We've been over this Rodney. I don't hate you." John had a sudden thought, "wait. Why would Jeannie send US on a couple's cruise?"

Rodney gave a resigned sigh, "like I said, she's playing matchmaker."

"Oh." Damn, he really didn't have any choice at this point. Jeannie was good. John made a mental note never to get on her bad side.

"Ah, Rodney, damn," he braced himself, "ever think maybe she knows more than she lets on? About both of us?"

Rodney blushed again. It was way to distracting.

"Look, again, I'm sorry… wait. Both of us?"

John leaned in and brushed a chaste kiss over Rodney's lips, "I may not be entirely straight myself."

"Oh. Oh, wow."

"Yeah."

"So, ah, what now?"

John sighed, "I think we're a couple."

"Really?"

John couldn't help but smile, "Really."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"What about when we get back?"

"Can we not worry about for now. Nobody knows where we are, I'm with my boyfriend on a cruise, and as long as you don't mention the military I think we'll manage to be fine, ok?"

"Boyfriend?"

"That is the commonly used term. Unless you'd prefer partner?"

"No, no, boyfriend is good," Rodney smiled.

"Good."

"So, ah, you wanna get to the sex part?"

John laughed again and pounced.