I own nothing related to the Twilight universe. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just play with the characters to get the ending I wanted when I read the books.
This story was first published on if you want to read more chapters go there because it will be updated over there in priority.
I couldn't do without a Beta because English isn't my mother tongue. That's how I met one of the most wonderful betas: faites-comme-moi. Thanks girl, you rock!
Big news before the big day.
I looked up from the sheet of paper I was holding in my hand. The wind had just stopped. That must have been why I wasn't shivering anymore. The morning sun completely filled Charlie's back yard. The day was getting warmer by the minute; I could almost feel it. I could smell the scent of roses and peonies around me. Yet the incredible scent of the massive firs was absent as there was no more breeze to carry it to me. This was regrettable because I cherished that smell more than any other.
The day was going to be lovely. Another lovely sunny day in Forks, Washington. Anyone who had ever been to Forks would find the association of this town and the word "sun" a bit awkward. Actually everybody in town was finding it weird. Since the beginning of August not a single drop of rain had fallen on Forks.
It was the kind of day which was perfect for sun-bathing or swimming, activities that I would have liked to do. Unfortunately, my day was much too busy to allow any recreation. There was the rehearsal dinner to prepare with my mom and my step-mother Sue. I had a final fitting for my dress. There was the ceremony rehearsal in the afternoon. More important than anything else were these wedding vows to write!
I sighed with discouragement and looked back down at the paper full of deletions in my hands. I simply couldn't find the right words to express my feelings for my soon-to-be husband. It had never been hard for me to write essays in high school or college but right now I was getting desperate.
Even more desperate after Jacob told me yesterday that his own vows had been written for a while. I had been so… I didn't even know how to express what I had felt. I simply said that my own vows were also written. I was such a bad liar. I was lucky that he didn't see my face when I told him.
How could I simply write down what I was feeling in my heart? How could words embody my love, my happiness, my longing to eventually become Bella Black? How could I even focus on the vows themselves when I knew that I would have to recite them in front of a whole assembly? I blushed at the thought. Why on earth had we decided to write our own vows? What a stupid decision. Well, at the time it hadn't seemed stupid. On the contrary, it had seemed rather romantic to put to words what we really felt for each other, to let our hearts speak rather than repeating sentences read by a priest. But weeks and months had flown away since we made this decision and here I was, desolate, without anything decent to say tomorrow. What a stupid decision.
I sighed again and rolled flat on the grass. The late dew on the grass made me shiver. I looked at the cloudless sky, trying to see something behind this immense blue.
"Come on," I moaned, extending my arms above me. "You gave us three weeks of sun and heat. Is it so hard for you to give me inspiration? Please?"
Okay, I was so desperate that I was talking to God. But if miracles in the weather could happen, anything was possible, right?
I waited a few seconds in silence but nothing happened. I dropped my arms and pressed my fingers to my eyes.
"He's gonna ditch me if I can't write this stupid thing! Please! I just need some inspiration. Just to write the beginning. Please!"
"Bella, are you okay?"
My mom's voice startled me and I rapidly resumed a sitting position. I grabbed the Jane Austen novel I had said I was going outside to read. I was lying a lot these days but I really wanted to write these vows alone without any interference. This was way too personal.
"Yes, I'm totally fine. This novel is just so… fascinating. I got carried away."
My mom looked at me in disbelief. I could never fool my mother. She was too perceptive. She could read me so easily. She knew that something was disturbing me and I knew at once that I was going to have to tell her how desperate I was becoming. She went to sit next to me and took the book from me.
"Bella, you know this book by heart. What's going on? Tell me."
She brushed my hair away from my face and rested one hand affectionately on my shoulder. I sighed and blushed. I was pretty sure this blush would stay on my face until tomorrow night and I'd need a ton of make-up to hide it. Not a pleasant prospect for someone like me who didn't use a lot of make-up.
"I'm just a bit nervous, I think. There's a lot of pressure with all of the preparations for tomorrow."
"Oh, I understand sweetie, though I find it fun; especially since I brought the California heat with me. I kinda like Forks when it's not raining. Besides, Sue's really a sweet woman. Charlie's lucky."
"Mom, you think it's fun because you're not going to be in the spotlights," I moaned.
"Says the girl who insisted on having a very traditional church wedding with all of her family and friends," Renée said with a smile. "What?" she continued in an innocent tone when I shot her a dark look.
"That's not true. I didn't insist on it."
And that was true. Jacob had thought that sneaking off to Las Vegas wasn't really a good idea despite my best efforts to convince him that being married by Elvis Presley was "hip". I had finally surrendered to his vision of a wedding though I vetoed the beach for practical reasons. I certainly didn't want to spend all day with sand in my shoes. It was out of the question. So all that was left was the church option.
"Okay, okay, you didn't. Anyway, this is what's happening and you just have to deal with it! I know you can do this, it's not so difficult. Trust me; I've done it twice and I've survived both ceremonies."
My mother looked like a coach giving a pep talk to his team before a big game. My mother was funny even when she wasn't trying to be funny. No wonder she liked Jacob so much. He was one of the funniest people I knew and his smile and his laughter were simply infectious. And then her look changed radically.
"Maybe what, mom?"
I knew that look. Whenever my mother got the look she had right now something big was going to happen. Something very funny, or something really unexpected but certainly something big.
"Maybe you're not just worrying about the ceremony itself. Maybe you're worrying about your decision to marry Jac…"
"Mom!" I shouted, looking up abruptly. "How can you insinuate that I don't want to marry him anymore? How can you even think about it? Don't you know me at all?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you," Renée said sheepishly. She was the one who really sounded offended. "But you seem so nervous; I thought that was what was eating you. Because I know how it feels to realize that you've made the wrong decision after you're already married. Trust me, I've done it twice."
"I shouldn't have shouted at you, I apologize. I'm just a bundle of nerves today. I think I need a drink."
"Bella, though you're 25 I have to tell you that in my motherly opinion, a drink in the morning is not acceptable. Moreover since when do you need alcohol for stress relief?"
That was why I liked my mother. Her mood could change in a millisecond. One second she was offended and the next she was smiling and teasing me, trying to sound motherly. I smiled back and squeezed her hand. She had already forgotten that I shouted at her a minute ago.
"What's that? You're writing something?"
Uh-oh. Back to my current problems. I leaned over and tried to grab the paper my mother had picked up. She was trying to read what was written and I struggled with her a bit, finally managing to take back what was mine.
"What is it? I'm curious; I want to know. I won't tell anybody. Promise."
At this moment the phone rang inside the house and I heard my father's faint voice answering the call. A second later he stuck his head through the living-room window.
"Bella, it's for you."
Saved by the bell! I mentally thanked the person who wanted to talk to me. I put my vows draft in my pocket and ran into the house, leaving my mother sitting on the grass with a disappointed look on her face. I knew she wouldn't let this go without an explanation and I'd have to write these vows quickly if I wanted to avoid her help.
"Hello?" I said grasping the phone Charlie handed me before he left the room.
"Miss Swan? Hello. This is Doctor Mackenzie."
I felt my voice tremble as I uttered this single word. Why was my doctor calling me? Why was she calling me today? Today was already busy enough without adding any other troubles. What was wrong with me now?
"I'm sorry I'm calling today. I know you must be very busy putting the finishing touches on things for tomorrow but I thought I should tell you this right away…"
She knew about tomorrow. Of course. In a town this small everybody knew everything about everyone. Then I remembered that I saw her two weeks ago when I got my vaccinations for the honeymoon. And that I saw her just two days ago because she wanted to check if my body was reacting normally to these vaccines. I was under so much stress that I was beginning to forget things. She was also making me nervous right now and I didn't like that.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked, holding the table to prevent me from falling when my legs would not support me anymore. And this was going to happen pretty soon if my doctor didn't spit out her news in the next minute.
"Oh, nothing is wrong with you. Don't panic."
The tone of her voice eased my nerves and my hands stopped shaking. But just for a second. If nothing was wrong then why was she calling?
"You're pregnant, Miss Swan. Congratulations."
I was…what? No. I couldn't be. It couldn't be possible. She was wrong. I didn't hear correctly.
"Sorry. I didn't hear what you said."
"I said that you're pregnant. Normally you should come and see me this week so I can run more tests but…"
"I'll call back later. Bye."
I hung up the phone without letting her finish her sentence. I was so shocked that this was the only response I could find. I was shocked. Shocked. I sat noisily in the closest chair and put my head in my hands.
I was pregnant? How could I have not noticed that? The doctor ran my test just two days ago but I knew that I had to be pregnant for a few weeks before my body could register the change. If I was counting right –but I wasn't even sure it was a calculation I could do properly in my present state of mind…If I was counting right it would make me more than a month pregnant.
I had thought my period was late due to the stress of the wedding and all the things I had to do. But it seemed that I was wrong. My period wasn't late. My period wouldn't return until at least eight months.
I unconsciously folded my arms across my belly. My flat belly. My soon-to-be round belly. I was pregnant. Pregnant. Happiness began to overwhelm me. I had only been aware of this baby's existence for less than five minutes but I already loved it. Loved him or her. I was pregnant!
I had never thought about children before. I had always known that someday I would be a mom but I wasn't planning on doing it so soon. It was supposed to be a serious decision that my husband and I would make when we were ready.
Husband. I had to tell Jacob about the baby. Our baby. I would never be able to hide news this big from him until after the wedding. Jake would see from a mile away that something was bothering me and I wouldn't have a moment's peace until I told him.
I grasped my car keys and headed to the hallway. Opening the front door, I turned back to the inside of the house.
"I'm going to see Jacob. Don't worry, everything's all right. Wedding's still on. Don't panic," I said, adding the last part for my mother who would get crazy if she thought that something was wrong.
I didn't wait for someone to respond and walked towards the car, being careful not to trip on anything. I started the car engine and fifteen minutes later I was parking my car in front of Billy's house.
Although Jacob was 22 years old now he had never stopped living with his father. His sisters were home right now, for the wedding, but they both lived out of town -Rebecca lived in Hawaii and Rachel, uneasy in the tiny Black house or even in La Push, was living in Seattle with Paul. Billy needed caretaking and Jacob had always been there for his father.
Living with his father was easy enough on Jacob since he was spending a great deal of time in Port Angeles where I was working and living. Actually, I wouldn't be living there anymore since Jacob and his friends had built a house for us here in La Push. We were supposed to move in after the wedding.
At the moment I was homeless so I was camping out at Charlie's, in my old bedroom, although it had been completely redecorated by Sue's son, Seth, when he moved in with his mother and Charlie after I left for college.
I got out of my car and immediately headed for Jacob's garage where I could hear music and a lot of men' voices. I had not completely reached the garage when I heard a dog barking. A second later my Labrador burst through the door, sprinting straight towards me. She stopped when she reached my side and I stroked her head affectionately. I missed her.
"Beta! Here!" Embry shouted from inside the garage.
Having a dog might seem unusual when you are engaged to a werewolf but it was not my idea. I couldn't have a dog when I was a kid because my mother was allergic. So, when I graduated from college and got my first job, she decided it was time for me to have a dog. But I had to admit it: the dog's name was my idea. Since Sam was the Alpha in the pack I thought it funny to name my dog Beta, meaning second-in-command. Sam was pretty angry at me at first but now it was history.
The dog couldn't stay with me at Charlie's because my mom was there almost all day long and, at first, she was sneezing all the time. So my dog was sent to stay at Billy's with Jacob.
"Beta! Oh, hey Bella," Embry said, coming out of the garage.
"Hi, Embry. Is Jacob here?" I asked, walking towards him, the dog jumping in circles around me.
"Sure. Jacob, Bella's here."
We entered the garage and everybody fell silent. The only sound left was the music coming from an old stereo. Almost all Jacob's werewolf brothers were here: Quil, Seth, and Paul.
"Bella? I thought you were at the hair dresser this morning. Is something wrong?"
The hair dresser story was my lie to have the whole morning alone to write my vows. I blushed at all the lies I had told these past few days.
I wanted to say that nothing was wrong like the doctor said but I suddenly hesitated. I was happy about the baby; maybe that was my maternal instinct already kicking in. But I couldn't know how Jacob would react to the news. Was he going to share my joy at once or was he going to get mad? Jacob was a man and I didn't know how men usually reacted to pregnancy. Besides, Jacob was younger than me and maybe having a baby was not really something he was expecting to do in the very near future.
"There's something I'd like to talk to you about," I finally said, my eyes on the dirty floor, hands playing with my car keys, my blush increasing.
"Alone?" I added.
Jacob was by my side in an instant. He put one warm hand on my chin and he forced me to look up and meet his apprehensive and gaze. He looked more than a little afraid. I smiled and his face relaxed a little.
"Of course. Everybody. Out."
"Actually, Jake, I'd like it better if we could go for a walk."
I took his huge hand and we went out, heading towards the forest in silence. I didn't know how to break the news; how to mentally prepare him for my big announcement.
"What were you doing with the guys?" I asked to fill the uncomfortable silence between Jacob and me.
"We were just…Oh, crap. Okay, you got me."
He stopped walking and looked down at me. Was that shame that saw in his eyes now?
"I got this stupid writer's block for the vows and I was so clueless I asked them to help me."
"What? But you said you wrote those weeks ago! Did you…did you lie to me?"
I smacked him reprovingly on the shoulder, managing only to hurt my own hand. I shook it to erase the pain and knew that I was being a hypocrite. Here I was getting mad because he hadn't written his vows when I could feel my own draft in my pants' pocket. Jacob looked like he was about to say "sorry" but I cut him short before he could say one single word.
"Forget what I said. Actually, I haven't written my vows either."
"Was that what you wanted to talk about?" he asked, taking my hands in his, his voice trembling. "Do you think we shouldn't get married? Because you think not being able to write our vows is a bad sign?"
"What? Of course not!" I exclaimed, shocked. "I still want to be your wife more than anything! Do you… don't tell me that you're getting cold feet!"
My voice was as shaky as his and I sat on a stump to prevent me from falling. Jacob knelt next to me and hugged me softly, kissing my forehead.
"Of course not! I love you more than you can imagine and I still want to get married. I'm so sorry I scared you, hon. So, if you're not here to tell me how much we suck at writing wedding vows, what did you want to talk about?"
Here we are. I took a deep breath and looked straight into Jacob's eyes.
"Well, I got a call from my doctor this morning and…nothing's wrong with me, don't panic!" I added quickly when I saw worry fill his eyes.
"It's just that sometimes things don't go as planned and…"
I took another deep breath and closed my eyes for a second.
It sounded more like a question than a statement.
I didn't want to open my eyes to see Jacob's reaction. He didn't say anything at first but he dropped my hands and I heard a loud thud next to me. My eyes opened in surprise and I saw that Jacob was sitting on the ground, wide-eyed with shock, his mouth gaping.
I didn't say anything either, letting his mind adjust to the news. After a few minutes of silence Jacob stood up so fast it scared me and I unconsciously folded my arms across my belly in protection.
"Don't be afraid, Bella, I'm okay," Jacob whispered in a calm voice. "How do you feel about it? Are you happy or…"
"About the baby? Well, yes I'm happy. But I'm also shocked and…"
My voice was still trembling, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't read Jacob's face to determine what he was thinking. He was 'okay', right. Did that mean that he was okay with the whole baby thing or that he was just not mad at me?
"I know it's unexpected and that it's a big thing which is happening, but I really think that…"
"What do you think, Bella?" Jacob cut me off in mid-sentence. "Do you think we can handle this?"
Jacob's voice was still calm but I could see that his hands were shaking. With anger?
I nodded in agreement to his question. Yes, I was sure we could handle this baby. I was sure it was not going to be easy but we would be able to work things out.
"Stop giving me that worried look, Bells. Everything's all right. You just took me by surprise, that's all. That wasn't something I was expecting, that's for sure," Jacob chuckled quietly. "You say you believe we can handle it and I am pretty sure that we can. You say that you're happy and I'm happy."
I sighed with relief and went to hug Jacob as tightly as I could, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek.
"But I'm not going to lie to you. I'm also shocked and afraid. Just like you," Jacob added with a small smile.
I smiled back and he kissed the top of my head. Well, it seemed that Jacob was not against the idea of a baby after all. I rested my head against his chest, closing my eyes.
"I love you, Bella," Jacob whispered in my hair. "Everything's gonna be all right."