BEWITCHED & BOTHERED

A/N: This idea came to me early one morning after I considered one of my favorite eps. from "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer", namely: "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" from Season Two. An AU tale.

Summary: Suppose it was Buffy that cornered Amy and decided to get a little revenge on Angel, and suppose it backfired?

Disclaimer: I don't own any dialogue from Marti Nixon's wonderful episode, nor do I own any Joss Whedon characters. I am making no profit off of this, and am just doing it for fun.

CHAPTER ONE

Xander and Buffy watched for any kind of supernatural activity that night, just as they always had since the petite blonde had answered her calling as the Vampire Slayer. For her part, Buffy wished that she could enjoy Valentine's Day once more.

Damn Angel for making me feel like crapola! She thought impetuously. Buffy sat on a gravestone and continued her thoughts. I so want him to pay!

Her attractive lips curled into a frown as she decided that she officially hated Angel. Before, when he'd given her the brush off after their night of passion--well, make that night of losing her virginity, since Angel didn't show too much passion while they made love—she had been numb, shocked, and depressed after that. Now, though, she knew that she hated him, and all of his kind, just like Spike.

Whoa! She told herself mentally. Spike?! Now I've got him on the brain, and after he tried with the major league killing? I've so got to get my head...

Buffy stopped her ruminations when she became aware of a hand waving in front of her face: Xander's.

"Hello, ground control to Major Buffy!" Xander was shouting. Buffy snapped back to where she was and what she was doing.

"Huh?" she asked. "Sorry, Xand. I was just thinking about...slaying. Yep, I was thinking of the slayage and slayer-y things."

"Well, how about giving me a little floor, or cemetery space? I was asking you what you thought about this?" Xander asked, holding a silver trinket in front of her. Buffy gave it a good look, then pointed to the heart.

"Does she know what one of these is?" she asked. Xander looked disgusted, and beyond that, frustrated.

"Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna let me off the hook and stop teasing me about dating Cordelia?" he asked.

"How about never?" Buffy responded with a question. She looked to the left and to the right. She also concentrated on her spider sense, but there was nothing she could feel.

"There are lots of girls," she told Xander, trying to be positive. "I just think you could find someone better."

"Better than Cordelia?" Xander asked incredulously. "Maybe in an alternate universe, but here, I'm only interested in two people, and one of them is not available."

Buffy got Xander's point. She knew that he had lusted after her; well, maybe that was too strong a word, but he certainly liked her more than just a friend. To his credit though, he had respected her wish to be with Angel.

She thought about the good vamp turned evil yet again, and how since losing his soul, he had ruined everyone's lives. The Slayer then thought how nice it would have been for him to give her a Valentine's Day present. Knowing him, he might give her one, and not of the good variety but very much of the eww.

Xander was rambling on. "Besides, Cordy and I are getting along. We're not fighting as much, and yesterday, we just sat together and enjoyed comfortable silence," he told her. "Dull, but progress, right?"

"Right," Buffy agreed. "And that's why you shouldn't stress about the gift. She'll love it and there'll be smoochies all around."

Xander had a worried look as he responded, "Sure hope so. I mean, most of my Valentine's day gifts have restraining orders right after. I just wish my dating score card could be like slaying. Just kick 'em hard and stake 'em good. No fuss, no muss."

Buffy reiterated, "Don't worry She'll love it. So says the Slayer." Before either of them commented, a vampire rose from the grave near the one she sat on, knocking Xander down as he came up. The Slayer kicked him against another larger headstone. When he got back up, the newly risen revenant ran right into her stake.

"Beg to disagree with you, Xand," Buffy said as they walked out of the cemetery. "I think slaying's a whole lot worse."

"Well, obviously, you've never dated Cordelia," Xander said wryly.

A/N: I tried to incorporate some dialogue from the episode but also some original dialogue and tried to put some of Buffy's thoughts into this. Please let me know what you think so far!