A/N: This is a spin off (sorta) from samandjackforever's "Cut" With her permission I borrowed some of the lines from it. I thought that, after reading a couple of other fics with this theme, this might be what Rodney was feeling while he sat in his room, just before John showed up. I hope you enjoy, even though I know its a little dark


Drip drip drip

I watch

Drip drip drip

I wait

Drip drip

It should hurt

I listen a while longer

Drip drip

As it slows I listen

There is no pain

Only the feel of the blade

Drip drip

It intoxicates

How can I live without this?

This is ecstasy pure bliss

They don't know

They can't know

They won't understand

Drip drip drip

Once more, and I'm done

Cool blade, warm flesh

No pain

I hear the door

I look and see

Suddenly there he is

"Shit…" I see the pain

But I can't feel it

His arms are around me

Suddenly I realize I'm crying

"Shhhh," he whispers

"You don't have to hurt anymore…"

He doesn't understand

I can't feel the pain

I watch as the blood stops

Crying silently

I feel his concern

I feel his arms

But I can't feel the pain

We kiss, I feel the joy

I look in his eyes

"I love you Rodney"

He tells me

But I still can't feel the pain


Disclaimer: By the way, I don't own the characters (unfortunately) or the plot, I just borrowed someone else's toys, Thanks MGM for the characters and Danielle for the inspiration.