Disclaimer; I do not own the Supernatural franchise, that belongs to Kripke.
Author's Note; Okay, this is my very first Supernatural fic, based off seeing precisely 2 episodes in total (and a whole lotta clips on YouTube) and I have to admit, my best friend linkkinparkk (seriously, check out this girls fics, they are friggin' hilarious) helped me immensely to write this, mainly pointing out in my planning where I was going wrong. So thanks bud, and congrats for getting into uni!

This story is dedicated to linkkinparkk as I'm in a good mood, hahaha!

1: Reflecting

There was one thing that Kerry Singer was certain of; she was in love, and had been since she was old enough to understand what love meant. She was in love with Dean Winchester of all people. Why couldn't it have been Sam? She wished every day that she could grow affections other than sibling ones towards the now taller brother, but she just didn't see him the same way she had done with Dean.

It had always saddened her every time she attempted to gain Dean's attention, only to have Dean ruffle her hair and walk off, but she never gave up, always carried the hope that one day Dean would wake up and realise that he had everything he could ever need right under his nose: Sam, Bobby and herself. And the Impala. Couldn't forget the car. Never forget the car. Not that she ever would, the car was magnificent and even the dumbest person in the world could see how much the owner loved her, every inch of her body cleaned to perfection, every dent and scrape lovingly worked out and straightened up.

Kerry had grown up around the Winchester's all her life, but then again, her Dad and John did have a close friendship, so it was only right she saw them often as a child. She still fondly remembered the first time she properly met the two boys, although back then she wasn't as comfortable with them as she was now.

//Flashback //

Bobby heard the familiar sound of the Impala roaring up the drive and scooped his four year old daughter up into his arms, where she quickly buried her head in his neck. She had only actually met John twice, and so it was to be understood that she didn't remember him, and so was slightly afraid to meet him. Bobby kept a light hand on her back the whole time he moved out of the house, to hold her and keep her safe. It had been hard for him to pull himself together after his wife died, but he had to do it for his little girl.

As they finally met the trio, John was quick to move forward and put a friendly hand on his friend's shoulder. He tried to look at the little girl but she shivered and buried herself further into her father's neck, if that was even possible. John stepped back, slightly confused at her behaviour, but he was quickly replaced by a twelve year old Dean. Dean ignored Bobby and went straight up to the girl. She peered curiously at him, and straight away she found herself unable to tear her gaze away from the bright green eyes staring back at her. Slowly, she turned her whole face to watch him and gave him a small smile.

"Atta girl." Dean encouraged.

After a few more seconds, Kerry pushed against her dad, and so Bobby put her down on the floor. As soon as he did, Dean put a comforting hand on her shoulder and guided her to meet his baby brother Sam, even if Sam was eight, making him four years older than Kerry. As Dean smiled at her, her eyes lit up. Bobby should've realised there and then the connection that formed between the pair.

// End Flashback //

Kerry sighed slightly to herself. Ever since that day, she had been besotted with Dean, following him everywhere, always eager to help him fix the car when she got a bit older, feeling jealous of his bragging about all the women he'd had when she was older still. There were days when her emotions got too much for her, and that was when Sam would often step in, espresso in one hand, cinema tickets in the other.

She truly adored Sam, always acting like the big brother she never had. Always being there to protect her and guide her through life, especially when it came to Dean. She remembered one time when she hit Dean with a spanner and ran off crying after he told her she was pretty plain compared to other girls her age. She was fifteen at the time, Dean twenty three. In the end, it was nineteen year old Sam yet again that had comforted her and had a heart to heart with Dean that ended with the brothers getting into yet another argument and not speaking to each other for a month.

No matter what her feelings were though, Kerry had always vowed to herself to stand by both her 'brothers' no matter what, helping wherever and whenever it was possible. Dean was usually happy for her to tag along on the odd hunt here and then, but Sam was always the one that protested the most, causing Kerry to have to remind him that he was treating her the same way Dean treated him. That usually shut him up quickly and a few minutes later she would be sitting in the back seat of the Impala, a smug grin on her face, an amused smirk on Dean's face, and a frown on Sam's.

The light-heartedness of the group smashed though with the death of John. She still remembered clearly watching her dad's face go from red to white in a nano second as she heard Sam's voice on the other end of the phone. Her dad didn't even speak to her as he moved to grab the keys to the truck, in a world of his own; probably forgetting his daughter was even there. If she hadn't already got her boots on as he left, she probably would have been left behind. Fortunately though, she had forgotten to remove them after moving outside to feed their dog Rumsfeld and remembering he had died a few days earlier, and so rushed after him, sliding into the passenger seat. It wasn't until they were about halfway there that her dad suddenly realised she was there.

"Kerry, it's not good. There's been a crash. Sam and John are fine…"

She remembered the way her heart stopped beating at that point, and all she recalled was going silent and shouting for her dad to get there full throttle. Needless to say, he did as his daughter requested and they made it to the hospital just as one ambulance pulled up and John and Sam were helped out. She ran over to Sam and threw her arms round him, neither caring about the injures he had. Then Dean's ambulance arrived, and Kerry could only watch in horror and fear as they wheeled Dean out. Blood was everywhere, and as she saw how pale Dean's face was, her knees buckled, and she found herself unable to stand anymore. Sam helped her up and they simultaneously put an arm round each others waist, each giving strength to the other.

While Dean was in his coma, Kerry and Sam refused to leave his side, apart from the once that Sam had to go on an errand for John. While he was gone, Kerry found the courage to tell Dean her true feelings. So what if she was only eighteen? She was in love with the guy, and felt he had the right to know, especially if…she bit back her tears, refusing to end that thought. Dean was a fighter, a Winchester, and nothing was going to change that.

"Hey Dean, I'm not sure you can hear me and I hope to whoever's out there that you either don't hear this or forget it. I have something to tell you. I think I'm in love with you. No, scrap that. I AM in love with you Dean, always have been always will be. Ever wondered why I used to get so mad about you teasing me? That's why dude. So even if you don't hear me, I just want you to know, I'll always be right here for you, always ready to be by your side. Always. Always.

It was at that point that John walked into the room, asking to have a couple of minutes with his eldest son. As she left the room and the door closed, she swore she heard John mutter 'forgive me', but she couldn't be sure. She moved to the canteen to grab a sandwich, not feeling hungry but knowing her dad, and Sam too most probably, would freak if they realised she hadn't eaten for three days. As she returned back to the room, she came back to a commotion. The first thing she saw was John being picked off the floor and raced off on a stretcher somewhere. The second thing she noticed was that Sam was ghostly white, shaking and crying, wrapped in the arms of…


She sank to the floor, all energy leaving her as she watched Dean being summoned to another room. Dean standing, walking, talking, as if nothing had happened. Piece by piece she fitted together what had happened.

"John what have you done? They still need you!" She growled.

A few minutes later, Dean returned and pulled a crying Sam into a hug. Dean turned to look at her, his green eyes boring straight into hers as they had done thousands of times, but this time it was different. He looked desperate, helpless. This was something she had never seen before, and without needing to be asked, she joined the brothers and found herself being pulled into the bone crushing hug as they mourned the loss of a great man. Bobby turned up a minute later, and Kerry left the two brothers alone so she could fill her dad in on what happened, and have him hold her as she too cried.

After that, both Dean and Sam grew apart and withdrew themselves. They stayed at the salvage yard for about a month, Dean forever restoring his baby, Sam constantly trying to keep his emotions under control. It was so hard to see them like it, but Kerry knew better than to interfere. That was until Dean made her snap one night.

"Hey Dean, need any help?"


"I think you mean no thanks"

"No. I mean no, damnit!"

"Who the hell do you think you are? I know you're pissed at your dad, but can't you see that you're letting that anger out on Sam? You're killing him!"

She'd never forget the look on Dean's face as she said that. He looked like she had just slapped him, and immediately his eyes went wide with guilt, and within seconds he was running into the house calling out to Sam.

It wasn't until they had left that she realised something.

They all forgot her nineteenth birthday. Even she had forgotten it. Mainly because it was the day John died.