YOSH! My second story is here! I have more chapters typed out but they need details added....oh well! 'iamthelorax' convinced me to post this earlier than I had planned so here it is! I am kinda glad though, I need motivation XD
Disclaimer desu~: I sadly do not own anything in this story except the plot line :(
Hidan liked to enjoy life.
Or that's what he told himself when he was going to nightclubs. Drinking until he couldn't stand anymore. Sleeping with anything fuckable and not caring that he always woke up alone. 'Enjoying' the blood seeping out of his wrists when he ran a blade across them.
Yea, 'enjoying' life while being perpetually drunk.
"Hidan, un! Wake-up, you have been passed out for almost 24-fucking-hours!" a blonde man screeched at the man passed out on his couch, the latter groaned holding his head in a sad attempt at soothing his splitting headache.
"Hn? What the fuck blondie? What time is it?"
'Blondie' was fuming "It's 6 am! And you should be asking what day it is, un!"
"Then, what fucking day is it?" Hidan replied mockingly.
"Monday, un" the blonde stated with a smirk creeping onto his slightly feminine features.
The albino's eyes flew open "I'm going to be fucking late for work! Why didn't you wake me the hell up on time?" Hidan got to his feet and scrambled out the door, he had to get home and change before work "See you later, Dei!" Deidara rolled his eyes. Many times he has tried to change that man, but to no avail. His constant drinking drove the artist nuts! He was always responsible for taking care of him considering his apartment was the closer to the bar than Kisame's "I will worship whoever whips him into shape, un"
A wooden door slammed open, as if announcing Hidan's arrival "Just in time, Hidan, un" Deidara murmured as a silver blur he recognized as his co-worker whiffed past him.
Soon Hidan was wearing a black apron with red clouds on it, in the middle it read 'Akatsuki' the name of the restaurant he worked at. The albino sighed as he stirred around sizzling veggies in a cast iron skillet. Hidan was interrupted from his boredom when he heard a familiar voice making an announcement:
"Everyone, I have been promoted to district manager and will thus be leaving this store to work at the main branch in this district..." the redhead spoke just loudly enough for the kitchen to hear. There were many groans heard throughout the kitchen. Everyone who worked there loved Pein being their manager, most even referred to him as 'Leader'.
"Who the hell is gonna take your fucking place then?" Hidan protested, glaring at Pein. Who, as of just now, had betrayed him. There is probably gonna be some asshole as manager now.
"I was just getting to that part!" Pein rubbed his temples trying to make this easier, he loved the kids that worked here. They were like his sons and daughters, his wife, Konan, visited the store often and thought of them that way as well and in return the employees love them like second parents.
"A man named Kakuzu will be taking over tomorrow and I expect you all to be respectful and listen to him, understood?"
The whole kitchen mumbled in unison "Understood..." meh, it was half-assed but Pein would take it anyway.
It was finally closing and Hidan could not have been happier, except for the fact that when he came in tomorrow there would be no Pein of course "Oi, blondie! Let's go get a drink!" Deidara shrugged, this happens almost everyday.
"No, you will get drunk and won't be able to function at work tomorrow in front of the new manager, un!" not that Hidan was ever sober of course.
"But Dei~chan...." Hidan pouted and looked up with big pink puppy eyes. Oh god, now he is begging? This, unlike the offer of drinks, didn't happen everyday.
"No! If you're so desperate to get fired find someone else to get a drink with!" Hidan knew that Deidara meant business when his strange speech impediment was absent in a sentence.
"Fucking fine then! I'll ask blue." he pouted
"I don't think so, un! He is on a date with Itachi!" and that was the end of the war over drinks, without one of his best friends a bar would be no fun so Hidan settled on buying a few bottles of beer on the way home. It may not be the same as a bar but he bought enough to get him drunk, that's all that mattered.
Needless to say, Deidara wasn't surprised to see a drunk albino stumbling into work the next day. Actually no-one was.
"Hidan..." the blonde grabbed his friends arm "This is not a good time to be drunk, un..." he whispered in a futile attempt at not being heard by the new manager. A tall tan man stormed past the employees trying to block the drunk from his view. He stopped right in front of Hidan, scowling as he stated:
"If I ever see you come to work like this again, you will be fired" the drunk man looked up to see an interesting man standing in front of him. Now, the only reason he used the word 'interesting' was the mask that was placed over his new managers face making his brilliant green eyes the only thing visible.
The large man turned to the rest of the kitchen "Stop staring and get back to work, time is money!"
"what the? What crawled up your ass and died?" Hidan spat, which probably wasn't a wise thing to do. Deidara cringed.
"What did you just say...?" the manager growled out "You fucking heard me! I said-" Deidara quickly slapped his hand over his friends mouth "Er, he said....'what the?..what cradled up the ads and dried?', un!" wow, if that doesn't deserve an award what does?
A green eye visibly twitched "What...?.that....just get back to work!"
The whole week revealed to Hidan that this new manager 'Kakuzu' was obsessed with money, if so much as a drop of batter or a shred of cheese was wasted he had a conniption about how wasteful it was and he was always screaming 'Time is money!'.
On the other hand, the whole week revealed to Kakuzu that his new employee 'Hidan' was a profane idiot who had a serious addiction to alcohol and a tremendous talent in hiding the fact he was totally stoned. He never knew someone could love the word 'fuck' so much.
But despite supposedly hating each other they began to have playful daily banters about nothingness, some of the employees called it their 'daily flirting' but it was really just two guys trying anything to make the other feel inferior. Actually it was a miracle Hidan hadn't been fired yet, everyone figured they were just having some battle of will and pride of who could irritate the other more and if Hidan got fired that meant Kakuzu couldn't handle the heat of aforementioned battle anymore.
The battle turned into a war when Kakuzu put a 'swearing jar' in the kitchen. If someone uttered a single cuss word that someone would have to put a quarter in the jar, needless to say Hidan's salary went mostly to the jar. In rebuttal Hidan would 'accidentally' spill a bag of fresh veggies on the floor or 'accidentally' break a dish. One day he even 'accidentally' broke the swearing jar, and Kakuzu was too cheap to buy a new one. By the end of the week the score was:
Kakuzu: 5 (not including the money he made off of Hidan's profanity)
Deidara had been observing the two over the week and when he went to lunch with Kisame he told him all about the 'war'
"...I must admit it makes work more interesting though, un" Kisame was bent over laughing by the time the story was over, no-one had bothered to fight with Hidan before.
"It sounds like they were made for eachother...pfft!" the blue man and the blonde shared a moment of hysterics until the smaller of the two spoke up,
"Maybe they should get together, un!" still chuckling Kisame agreed jokingly "Yea, you should set them up, ahaha"
"It would be too easy, un!"
"Oh? What makes you think you could pull it off?" the artist stopped laughing immediately "Is that a challenge, un?" he said defensively, Kisame had also grown serious "Hm, maybe it is!"
Deidara lifted his eyebrow "...You wanna make a bet?" the missing speech impediment was noticed "Hmmm...if you can hook them up within 2 weeks I will pay for a weekend get-away for you and Sasori" that secured the deal for Deidara.
"And what if I can't?" he eyed the blue man skeptically.
"You have to...." an evil grin spread across Kisame's face revealing his sharp teeth "Cut your hair." Deidara's blue eyes widened but quickly settled into a sharp glare.
"It's fucking on, un!"
I won't be uploading anything else until monday because I won't be home over the weekend, but rest assured I will update this as often as I can. I don't like making people wait. Alrighty! I hope you liked it, if you did: ~*Review*~