I just wanted to let everyone know that my brother, Michael, has passed away. He passed away on March 2nd, about 4:15am. He has been struggling with Ewing Sarcoma (a primitive cancer) for under a year now and I guess a cure just wasn't meant to be.
I know a lot of you are going to wonder just how exactly did the cancer kill him, or just what happened in general. So I'll tell you. The chemo and radiology didn't work. There were still tumors growing. The tumors that were in his lungs were what killed him. He woke up February 29th, around 6:30am, unable to breathe, and our father took him to the hospital.
I arrived at the hospital around 4pm-ish. Our whole family was there (the close ones) and I left later that night around 10:30pm. The next day, the Doctors had successfully put my brother into a drug induced coma. It was for his pain. He was in far too much pain and he couldn't understand why due to his autism. All he knew was he was "sick". So the doctors suggested to my Mom and Dad to put him in a coma and they decided it was for the best.
I stayed all day and all night. It was just my Mom, my Dad, my Aunts (my Dad's sisters), my sister, and my cousin. I fell asleep at the hospital around 12:30 am (of March 2nd) and my Aunt woke me up a few hours later, telling me Michael was starting to slip away.
When I went into the room my brother took about three long breaths, that seemed to take forever, and the nurses had a stethoscope placed on his chest and after that third breath, they declared him dead. And I can say, in full confidence, that he had no discomfort and that it was as quick and painless as death can come. He literally went in his sleep, painless, and that's much more than I could ask for.
Those tumors in the end had taken my brother's use of his left arm (for nearly the entire time he had cancer), and at the very end of it it took use of his legs. For the last week of his life he couldn't walk, due to the tumor in his spine.
I can also say, the last thing he ever did, before the medicine made him go to sleep, was that he demanded his Xbox 360, and he played his video game for a few minutes. Lego Star Wars. It made me smile despite everything that was happening. And even without his left arm to use, he used his chin and mouth to replace it. He always adapted to everything. The cancer, the loss of use of his left arm, and even his legs.
And just because he was autistic, didn't mean he absolutely did not know what was going on. He did say, "I'm scared" at the hospital, before he went into his coma. But everyone was there for him, and he was never, ever alone. Not once was he alone during his cancer. My father was always by his side, even during his chemo, he stayed at the hospital with him.
I knew that moment, when he was gone, that I would've absolutely, without hesitation, given anything to save him. Anything at all. He deserved his life far more than I deserve mine. I would've given him my life if it would've saved him. But obviously that's all fairy tales and cloud fluffs. There wasn't to be a happy ending. And I've learned how terribly unfair life is... and how short it can be.
But now, my brother's suffering is over. I know it's a relief to say he isn't suffering anymore, but I don't believe any of this should've happened in the first place.
An innocent, 16 year old boy, with autism, who's never really been able to express himself due to his autism, was still pretty damned happy every day. He always found something to do, and was always jumping and laughing and I don't think I've seen someone love life more than him. He took all of life's complications, and unfairness, and was still happy. Even when he got cancer, even when he lost all of his hair, even when he loss nearly 100lbs, even when he couldn't eat. He was still smiling and happy.
And he will forever be the strongest and bravest person I know.
http :/imageshack. us/f/96/michaelrussell. jpg/ -(remove spaces, after 'http', and after both of the periods)
Rest in Peace, Michael. Your big sister will always love you.
Sorry for the false chapter, guys, but I thought it'd be fair for those of you who were sending so many kind and supportive emails and messages rooting for my brother's recovery. Thank you.