Summer of Smut Contest
Title: Your Forever Girl
Pen name: uhyesplease
Smut Category: B/E Smut
Your Forever Girl
I glance at the clock: 5:30 am. It's summer and starting to get light; the birds are beginning to sing. I get out of bed quietly; pull off the black sleeveless top and black panties I slept in, put on a white lacy bra, matching panties and black running shorts. I dig around in my dresser and find an old college T-shirt. It's gold with black writing. I slip on some white socks and lace up my pink running shoes, lean over the left side of the bed to give my sweetness a kiss. He barely stirs but he knows when I'm gone he's in charge of the children. This is my hour of the day, every day, for the last year or so.
I walk through the hall, make a quick trip to the bathroom, wash my face and brush my teeth. Then continue into the living room, picking up empty beer bottles and kicking a few stray toys off to the side. I take the bottles to the kitchen sink, rinse them out and put them in the recycling bin. Thinking about last night, I'm struck by how much fun we had as couples. We put the kids to bed around 8pm, which gave us all plenty of time to hang out, enjoy a few drinks around the bonfire, and tell lame jokes and stories about the children. It was a nice night. We all get along well.
How did we get here? We started talking again a couple of years ago after our high school reunion. A few emails here and there with the basics, chatting about our partners and children. Reminiscing about classes and a few clubs we were in together led to confessions of hardcore crushes on each other. Who knew we were both holding a torch for each other all through high school? But then we graduated – me off to college in the Midwest and him off to London. We each married someone else, had children, settled down. Friendly emails blurred into "I wish," "I wonder," "What ifs." He planned this trip because we couldn't stand not seeing each other again. Although we're committed to our families, we both just wanted to see. See what exactly? I'm still not sure…but I'm ready to find out.
I shuffle through a few of my favorite emails in my head.
Our tickets are booked! I can't wait for our upcoming visit. Do you think you're ready for me? Ready for this? I want to give you anything, everything that you want. I think of you every minute, of every hour, of every day. Wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers through your hair, touch your soft skin and hold you close. To kiss your lips and put my lips everywhere. I hope we find some time, just the two of us. But I will take whatever I get.
We've talked about that time riding the bus on the way to the State Marching Band Contest our senior year, right? I was so stoked to sit by you on the bus, but then froze up and barely said two words to you. I think you said you were just as nervous as I was. But the main reason I couldn't say anything was because you were wearing the cutest little shorts and tank top. They were so tight and stuck to your body because of the heat in the bus. And your smell! Everyone else was hot and sweaty – but it was like the sweat just amplified the sweetness of you. So fresh and so sexy, just mouthwatering. All I could think about is how you were going to change into your marching uniform before we got there and I was NEXT TO YOU on the bus! I knew your top would scoot a little up your sides and then your shorts might slide down a bit off your hips. I fantasized about how you might trip a little reaching up to the rack above us to get your hatbox and piccolo and possibly fall on me. Of course I'd catch you and sneak in a nuzzle and brush a kiss along your neck. Or you would put your hair up into a ponytail to fit under your hat and then maybe ask me to help pin up the little wispy curls that always ended up around your face. Yes, I noticed that and it was so cute.
What I'm trying to say is, that boy, that seventeen year-old moron is long gone. I promise I will find a way to touch you, feel you, kiss you and caress you. I need you – to be yours for whatever time we have. And I hope you'll be mine too.
Can't wait to see you,
Of course I remember that trip! Did you know that Jessica planned that out? We always sat next to each other on the bus trips, but she 'accidently' ended up sitting with Tyler! See, I did try to hook up with you – I just wasn't very direct about it.
Damn. I was so disappointed that day. Now, I wish I could smack myself, because knowing what I know now, I would have made the first move. However, back then there was no way I would have done anything like what you imagined in those fantasies of yours. But, I did have a few fantasies of my own. Nothing quite as specific as yours, but I was hoping, maybe, we'd bump hands together, and you'd just hold mine for a bit. Or just a little kiss, private, somewhere behind the bleachers on our way back to the bus. I was such a naïve girl, ya know?
You were so cute that day…I loved your glasses, did you know that? And your long, shaggy hair. AND your Clockwork Orange T-shirt. I thought that was so cool you were into that movie.
You mention smells, and that brings me back to remembering yours. It was very hot that day and most guys (especially you nasty drum line boys!) were rank. But not you. It was a cross between the musky tang of your hair pomade and Old Spice? I freaking love Old Spice! Even now when I smell it on a teenage boy in my classroom I chuckle a bit to myself.
And there you are remembering my outfit! You know it had to be tight and formfitting to fit beneath our uniforms, right? But it makes me giggle to think it had that effect on you. Maybe you couldn't make the moves on me because something else was standing at attention and was ready to perform? Hmmmmm?
See you soon,
Your number one band geek girl
Shit! I try to be all nice and romantic and you gotta bring the little Mister into it? Well, two can play at that game.
Hell YES he was standing at attention. Do you have any idea how fucking hot your tits were in that shirt? Two perfect handfuls begging for my attention. Every time you moved it was like they were looking at me. Your nipples straining against the tiny patches of fabric that made up your bra – and then a thin, tiny t-shirt. I mean, how's a hot-blooded guy supposed to act?
I wasn't completely honest with you. I mean, yes, those fantasies were in my head that day, but this is the fantasy that has held on to me through the years. That's right, I'm playing dirty now:
Everyone gets off the bus but the two of us are late getting ready and end up the last ones on. The bus driver, for some reason, thinks the bus is empty and closes the door, locking us in. There is no way we can get out at this point – no safety locks back in the old days.
We look at each other, both realizing our feelings for each other and I attack you. My arms twist around your waist and you grab me back. We kiss and nearly strangle each other to get closer. Of course we're wearing our stupid maroon band uniforms and I strip off your jacket and snake a hand up and across your breasts. I hear you moan, pressing your tits against me and I continue to grope you mercilessly.
You start ripping my coat off as well, and we're both in our pants and suspenders. We don't have to worry about those stupid plumed hats, we never put them on. I let go of your tits and push your suspenders off, one at a time. We continue to kiss. Next I peel your shirt off, breaking our kiss so I can kiss your stomach, and lick up to your bra. I bite your hard nipples through your bra. You love it and moan, deep in your throat.
I'm surprised when you push me down onto one of the bench seats. There's a twinkle in your eye and you start to strip for me. I'll be honest; in my 'alone time', this is about as far as I had to go. But I've got a little experience under my belt now, so I'll continue.
You stripping for me is sexy as hell. Looking me straight in the eye you run your hands up and down your sides, dipping your chest down a bit in the front to give me a view of your lovely tits. You reach back and pop the hooks on your bra, flashing me a cheeky grin. One strap comes down and then the other. The bra falls to the floor and you scoop up your pert breasts with your hands. Rubbing, pinching, and rolling your nipples, over and over until I can hardly stand it any longer.
God you're hot.
Then you take off your pants. Just a flick of the button and they fall to the ground. You slip your fingers down the front of your shorts, cup yourself and moan again. So fucking hot.
After doing a little twirl and blowing me a kiss, you finally slide your shorts down. And guess what, you naughty minx, no panties. Commando on a band trip. Hell yeah!
You walk over to me, swing your legs over each side and settle into my lap. Little did you know but I had already unbuttoned by pants during your little twirl and my cock is poking through my boxers. I shift my pants down, lift you up by your sweet ass and slide right into your tight, wet and unbelievably hot pussy.
Do you know how hard I am right now? Thinking about fucking you, about feeling how amazing you are? Knowing that my fantasies are NOTHING compared to how you actually feel. I can't wait to find out.
I adore you. Always have, always will.
How do you do this to me? One little thing and you sweep me off my feet with your dirty talk, your fantasies. I'm always asking why? Why didn't you tell me in high school? Why were we so passive?
I promise, I'll do whatever I can to get our time together. Remember, I run in the mornings. 6:00am sharp.
I adore you too, more than you probably know…..I can't wait for next week.
Your commando lovin' girl
I shake my head bringing me back into the present. Oh god, how am I going to survive this? Can this hype live up to reality? Is he as willing as he claims to be? Will I actually follow through?
He knows about my morning routine. Usually my running gear includes a sports bra after all, but I put on this little lacy thing with the optimism he remembers and hears my footsteps above him in the basement. If I actually have to run, I'm screwed. Hopefully his body clock is telling him it's time to get up – while the rest of his family stays asleep.
I sigh, and grab my keys so I can lock up the house behind me when I hear gentle footsteps on the basement stairs. I'm standing still in the kitchen, praying it's him. The door opens and there he is: dressed simply in a plain white t-shirt, navy shorts and trainers in his hand. But what really catches me is his face: bronze hair perfectly messy, eyes bright, stubble covering his angular cheeks and charming smile in place. The years have agreed with him. We don't speak; he sits down on one of the kitchen chairs and swiftly ties his shoes. I glance at the clock, 5:43am. I tuck my keys in my shorts pocket and he follows me out the kitchen door.
We take the short cut through the backyard into the park. We are both silent, I can feel the electricity buzz between us. Once we cross the baseball field I know we're out of sight from the house. No one else is here, the park is empty. Just him and me.
I want to hold his hand, to feel a physical connection.
I reach for his hand and he firmly clasps it and squeezes. This is a morning of firsts; I've never even held his hand. He looks me in the eyes and I feel my heart jump into my throat. I'm ready. He's ready. It's finally time.
We walk down to the duck pond…a few ducks are lazily swimming, but it's pretty empty.
"Beautiful." he whispers.
"I know; it's a really nice park." I answer back.
"No," he turns to look me in the face, "The park is fine. I'm talking about you. Always you."
I feel myself melt. How does he do this? It isn't something new, these compliments. But it catches me off guard all the same. It's just like his emails. Starting off funny and tame and then turning flirty and sexy. I'm flattered, but also a bit mad that he wasn't this assertive when we were single. Things could have been so different.
I sigh inwardly. This decision, this meeting and his visit, well, it's hard to explain. I love my life, my husband, and my children. I don't expect anything to come from this morning rendezvous; it's just an hour with him. That's it. And since he's here with me he must feel the same.
We continue, hand in hand through the park and I move us behind a tiny copse of trees. We are shielded from anyone who would happen to walk by at this early hour of the morning. I let go of his hand to sit down, my arms hugging my legs to my chest. I reach out one hand to pat the ground beside me. He sits down, and shoots me one of his gorgeous smiles.
"I'm so happy to finally be here, with you. How much time do we have?"
"We have about an hour or so? Any plans?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Well, there is one thing," he says, looking so serious, "I'm tired of waiting. You?"
Now I understand that look, it's not serious, it's hungry. He is hungry for me.
My heart jumps with sudden confidence. I feel brave and smirk at him.
"I can think of at least one thing to start." I release my arms around my knees, letting my legs fall to the side, leaning into him. He turns his body to mine; brushes a stray lock of hair out of my eyes and rests his other hand on my hip. We both sigh…here it comes, another first.
We lean in, our foreheads meet first, I close my eyes and tip my chin up for my lips to meet his. Finally. Finally kissing him and it's amazing. He presses his full lips into mine, softly at first, but then I wrap my arms around him, crushing his body to mine. He digs the fingers of his hand on my hip in deeply, pulling me closer in. I'm going to bruise, but I don't care. My mouth opens and his reciprocates, I feel his sweet breath, and then his tongue crashes into mine. We are needy; we've waited so long for this.
Isn't a first kiss supposed to be awkward? I mean, I shouldn't know that he likes it when I bite his lower lip and suck on it. Nor should I know he will moan when I twist my hands in his hair. But I do, and he does. I can't seem to get close enough. There are too many clothes between us, not enough time, not enough air.
I need a breath; I'm so overcome by him, feeling him this way, showing him how much I love him and need him. I release his lips and run a trail of kisses down his spectacular jaw, to his supple neck and lightly lick and suck down to his collarbone. I hear him moan and it makes me smile. I brush my nose against his morning stubble; I wonder what it would feel like between my thighs. I clench my legs together at this thought and feel the heat pulsing.
At this I move my lips and tongue back up his throat and kiss his slightly dimpled chin. Sweet, light and fluttery kisses. I move back to take in the sight of him. His arms around me, seeing him want me. His eyes flash open, mutually soaking in the view.
I see his eyes blaze. "I'm not done yet," he practically growls. His arms release their hold on mine and he pushes me into position so I can straddle his lap. It's no mystery he is hard. I can already feel myself soaking through my panties. I arch my back and lean my hips into him to get a little friction between my thighs. Ahhhh, there you are. I move down to kiss him again, trying to express my need and desires through my lips. I hope there is time for tenderness later – but for now, this is going to have to do.
His hands run up and down my back, then slip under the back of my shirt and find my bra, flicking the hooks and I'm free. One of his hands grabs my bum and the other works its way to the front to cup my breast. His thumb goes right to my nipple. I inhale with a hiss and arch my back to grind into him harder.
He begins to pinch and roll my nipple and squeeze my bum harder. I'm rocking on him harder now and we both moan.
I'm kicking myself that I've never gotten one of those running skirts. How convenient would that be? I mean, we're grown adults, dry humping ourselves into oblivion like a couple of 14 year olds.
You know what? I'll take what I can get.
However, he has other ideas. His hands move back up to my face, his kisses slowing down to a few whispery pecks. Uh oh – this can't be good…
He gently lifts me up and off of his lap and I sit down next to him, my back to the trees. He readjusts himself in his shorts and stands up, reaching his hand out to mine.
So, I do. We walk a little farther around the pond and up the steep hill through the Frisbee golf course. I'm confused; he actually looks like he knows where he's going. We reach one of the shelters at the top of the hill. It's deserted. We walk around to the back where there is nothing but the back of the shelter, and trees surrounding it. There is a small patch of grass and a rolled up blanket beside it. I recognize the blanket as one of the ones from the basement.
He releases my hand and spreads the blanket out and sits down, this time he's patting a spot next to him. I obediently sit.
"What in the world did you do, Edward?"
He looks totally jazzed. "I couldn't sleep a wink last night; I've been up trying to figure out how to do this perfectly, so I took a walk around 3am this morning. I found this spot, went back to your house to borrow this blanket and ran back up to put it here, hoping that you'd do your normal routine this morning and I'd hear you upstairs. I hope it's okay I borrowed one of your blankets..."
I cut him off, "Are you joking? It's more than okay…"
I reach for his hand again and squeeze it.
"You are incredible," I whisper.
He kisses me again, this time with a tenderness that nearly makes me cry. I can feel the need burning inside us both.
"Mmmmm…..Bella," he hums while kissing my neck, "How much time do we have?"
I sneak a quick glance at my watch, trying hard not to disturb his lovely kisses.
"It's 6:15, I usually stay out 'til 7am." My head lolls to the side, soaking up every bit.
"Plenty of time," he murmurs and begins sprinkling kisses on my face while pulling up my shirt….the lacy bra also comes off completely.
He pushes me down on the blanket, on my back. I reach down to pull his shirt off too. Now we're even….he hovers over the top of me, soaking it all in. I'm waiting…ready for him. Whatever he wants to do with me.
I want to beat the shit out of my seventeen year-old self. I'm looking down at her, my goddess, my Bella, soaking in the perfection that the years have bestowed on her. I thought I was a bumbling idiot in high school before, but now, knowing that she could have been mine for all these years is almost enough to kill the enormous erection I have poking me in the stomach right now. Well, almost.
I can see it in her gorgeous eyes that she's completely yielded to me. So expressive; those eyes, why couldn't I see it fifteen years ago? But now we have this, this tiny breadth of time. Who knows if we'll have a second chance, so it's game on. I will do everything possible to express all my love and lust for this woman in a few short minutes. Best of all: I'm going to school that pathetic seventeen year-old. I'm a man now. Better yet, I'm Edward fucking Cullen. My confidence rises. God, I love this woman.
"You're so beautiful," I whisper in her ear, "I want you. Are you ready for me?"
Bella sighs and nearly puts me over the edge with that sound.
"I want you too – please, Edward."
I can feel her fingers working on the drawstring of my shorts and then pulling the elastic down.
"Oh no, Bella, not yet. I want to see all of you first."
I reach down and remove her hands from my waistband. I move to the side and gently pull down her shorts and panties – mmmm, white, my favorite. I can already see her wetness and I feel my cock throb with need.
"Oh, my Bella….you are so beautiful. More than I ever could have imagined."
I brush my fingers across her lips and her hips thrust up to meet my fingertips. I pull away quickly. My breaths start coming faster and I try hard to regulate it. We don't have a lot of time, but I'm going to savor every moment.
I pull off her shoes and take her shorts and panties off, set them on the blanket beside us and settle myself in between her legs. Bliss. Heaven. I've been dreaming of this moment for years. Of course in high school, I wouldn't have known even where to start, but I consider myself a bit of an expert at this now.
I hear Bella say something about stubble under her breath followed by a low, primal moan. So sexy. I slowly lick my way up from her knee to her lips. My nose brushes against her clit in the process and I memorize her smell. Now it's my turn to let out a guttural moan. Oh god I can hardly stand it. I want to bury myself inside her. I grit my teeth and fight the intense wave of lust. I've planned this morning for weeks. I want her to cum in my mouth first. My dick is so pissed off at my mouth. Down boy, you'll get your turn.
I can see Bella's fingers twisting and turning in the blanket. I better get to work.
I flatten out my tongue and lick her bottom to top, again until her hips start moving with me. Her hands reach down to grasp my hair and she curls her fists into it. So good. I glance my nose off her clit and she moans again. I continue a few more long licks and use my thumb to start rubbing circles on her clit. She smashes her pussy into my face again. Does she like it? I think that's a yes.
I use my tongue to find the source of her wetness and begin to fuck her pussy without mercy. I work my tongue in and out, hard, her thighs crushing my head and nearly suffocating me. But I like it. I moan into her, matching her loud moans directed at me. My name sounds so good falling from her lips.
I come up for air, "Cum, Bella. NOW."
I return to her amazing pussy. I feel the trembling start in her knees before it slams into her thighs and lips. She holds my face to her, gripping my hair, grinding my face and tongue hard and cumming harder. That's my girl.
"Please, Edward. I need you inside me."
I don't bother with my shoes; I don't even bother with taking my shorts all the way off. I need to be deep inside her. Fast. Hot. Hard. Right now.
I climb up from between her legs, licking and kissing until her hands can reach my ass. She grabs me and impales herself on my cock. Fuck, YES.
Against all my instincts, I try to go as slow as I can stand. But she isn't patient.
"Edward – just fucking FUCK me already." Ooooh, Bella's got a dirty mouth.
I hitch her legs up on my shoulders. I slam into her hard and fast. Her head rolls to the side, but I want to see her face when she cums again. I want her to look at me when I finally cum inside of her.
"Look at me. Look at me, Bella," She straightens her head to look at me, eyes shining, face flushed and looking more amazing I than ever thought possible. It's so hot seeing her bounce with each thrust. Her gorgeous tits slamming together each time our bodies meet. Hypnotizing, really.
I can feel the knot tightening deep in my gut. She reaches down and starts working on her clit. My eyes follow her hands to watch her touch herself and my cock moving in and out. Oh shit! I better look at her face or this show's over.
Her face is so beautiful. We smile at each other, completely uninhibited. Like our souls are connecting while our bodies join as one. Ok, deep thoughts here.
Then it hits me, I have to tell her. Tell her before I lose it completely.
"I love you." We declare in unison.
I kiss her gorgeous mouth, pounding into her harder when finally I release. Harder than my first time, harder than my wedding night, harder than anytime I remember. I feel Bella's muscles clamp and pulse around me, clearly into her second orgasm. Her face crumples up so cute I can barely stand it. I'm sensitive, but continue to move with her, making sure she feels as good as possible. I watch her face until the lines smooth out on her forehead. I move her legs off my shoulders, kissing each ankle before setting them down on either side of me and drop down to my elbows to kiss her sweet mouth again. I could kiss her forever.
I hear her giggle a bit.
"What?" I ask, kissing the little smile lines around her eyes.
"How soon can you be ready again?" she questions, grabs my left wrist and checks the time on my watch.
She raises that sexy eyebrow raised at me, "We have 19 minutes left."
She lets go of my hand and slides her hands down my back, squeezing my ass and giving one cheek a slap. My cock stirs, renewed and ready for more. Take THAT, seventeen year-old Edward.
"How does now sound?" I lazily push into her and tease her pulling out slowly.
She licks her lips, pushing me out and off of her as I roll to my back.
Bella smiles wickedly, "It sounds like a perfect time to taste you."
My brain can barely function. It's buzzing with love and lust and everything that makes this so good. I look at this man, I've loved him for so long and for now he's mine. He's made me cry out his name twice now, and it's time to return the favor.
I lean over him and keep our eye contact. "Bella," he moans and he closes his eyes while I ghost my hands over his erection.
"Please, baby, keep your eyes open, ok? I want you to see me love you." I slide his boxers and shorts off, and down his legs. I take a few seconds to pull off his shoes and socks. Then I move up his body to cup his balls and stroke his shaft, twisting my hands over the round head. He's still wet from being inside me which is such a turn-on.
I alternate hands, rubbing his shaft, up and down. I squeeze his balls and listen to him moan. I rub a little harder, a little faster. He has a hard time laying still. I can feel a bit of wetness peeking out the top of his cock, but continue to tease and stroke, up and down. His body is tensing....his legs and stomach keep tightening. Edward's stomach is so sexy – abdominals flat with slightly reddish hair dusting the front and even trimmed a bit around his fantastic cock. So sexy.
I move my hands to his inner legs, massaging down and then up again. I do this a couple of times, admiring his fit legs. Edward still races on a crew team in Cambridge and that hard work clearly shows on his strong legs. My hands move back to his waiting cock, more gently this time, just lightly teasing him with my fingers.
I move in closer between his legs. I kiss his right knee and move closer in, kissing and licking his inner thighs. He's stopped breathing. I open my mouth to lick and suck his balls and he moans again. I get them very wet so my hands can play with them. I move up to his cock, kissing and licking up to the tip. I see more wetness at the head and I kiss it off. I slowly take the head into my mouth. One hand on the shaft, rubbing him up and down, the other still playing with his balls.
I swirl my tongue around the top of his cock, making it very wet and slippery and move down to continue the rest of the shaft. He is so hard, like our previous lovemaking never occurred. I take in as much as I can, making everything wet. I come back up and lick the shaft, up to the head like a lollipop. Bottom to top. Over and over. He's quivering and his whole body is trembling again. While I do this I look up and his eyes meet mine. He's biting his lip and I smile...still licking his cock.
I've never enjoyed a blowjob as much as this one.
He takes his hands on each side of my head and guides me back to take his cock into my mouth.
"Bella, please, let me…" Then he guides me how fast he wants me to move.
I'm sucking and moving my head, up and down until I can feel him getting bigger in my mouth. I look up to watch his face. Oh Edward….He's so beautiful. He starts to push me down harder, so I can take more of him in. All of the sudden he bursts - cumming hard. Edward grips my hair, while I squeeze his balls, draining even more cum into my mouth.
So fucking good.
He realizes he has a death grip on my hair and lets go, smoothing it away from my face. I slowly release his cock from my mouth....swallow and move up to straddle his lap and kiss his mouth.
"Bella, baby," he kisses me deeper, "God, I love tasting you, me, together….so hot."
He moves down to kiss my neck and my breasts and I can feel him starting to stir beneath me.
I hate to do it, but I do…..my watch says 7:05.
"Shit. Edward, our time is up."
We hold each other close; neither of us wanting to be the one who lets go first. But it's me; I break away, willing myself to return to the present. Back to the reality of my life before our hour began.
I let go of him and get dressed quickly. Edward gathers his clothes and does the same. We don't say a word. If we talk, I wonder, will it break the spell? The sun is shining bright and the bits of mist back in the trees have faded away. I can hear muffled sounds of runners shuffling along a path a short distance from our spot behind the shelter.
While I put my hair up into a messy ponytail, Edward rolls up the blanket and falls into step beside me. We walk down the hill together and begin drifting apart. I don't need psychic powers to know what should happen next. I turn to him, give him a peck on the cheek and start to run…and run…and run. It's hard to set a pace with the tears prickling, thick as thieves in my eyes.
Thanks again for hosting me and my family last week. It was an amazing holiday. We had so much fun and Leah talks non stop about her new best friend, Quil! If arranged marriages were still in style, I don't think we'd need to worry about those two at all! Your little Embry is adorable and if things don't work out between Leah and Quil, maybe he can be a back up! Tanya also says thanks – she's amazed at the bargain shopping in the US and I know she'll be planning another trip to the outlet malls as soon as possible. And your Jacob – he's a great guy and it makes me happy to see you so happy.
Going back to work was hard after such a nice holiday with you. Who am I kidding, can I cut to the chase? I'm trying and failing to keep this "G-rated" like we agreed upon. Bella, my sweet Bella. I can't stop thinking about you. I don't WANT to stop thinking about you. You are right, we can't continue this past our hour. That one golden hour we shared will be burned in my memory for as long as I live. I'll never forget the feel of you in my arms, the feel of being inside of you, as close as two people can be. Your smell, your face, your voice…I will never forget.
My Bella, I am here for you, in any capacity you want. I'll be your friend, your lover, maybe someday even more than that. Whatever I can be for you, I will be.
Hello to you too,
Quil can't stop talking about Leah either. She's so cute and I'm sure they would work great together in some sort of arranged marriage situation! Poor Embry was so sad when you all left too. The next morning he said, "Where people go?" It was so cute and sad at the same time.
I'm trying too, Edward. But it feels like when you left, half my heart went with you. I'm trying to come to grips that I'm in love with you AND Jake. Is it possible to have room for two people in my heart? I think so. Loving you doesn't make me love Jake any less. But still. I pledged my heart to him, eternally, and so I have to keep it strictly "G-rated" with you. We can kick ourselves until the end of time that we were both too insecure to do something years ago.
Know this, Edward, I have no regrets. You called it the "golden hour" which fits our time perfectly. I will never forget the feel of you loving me, the consummation of the feelings and love we have for each other. But, for me, that's where it has to end. If I don't put away the feelings I have for you and accept my life as it is, the pain without you in my life will be too much to bear.
I dream that someday we'll be together. I'm not sure how. We might be gray haired eighty-five year-olds holding hands on a porch swing in a nursing home somewhere, but we'll be together.
So for now I ask for your friendship. The dream of you by my side, someday, will have to sustain me for now.
Your forever girl