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Innocent Sorrow

Alone in this barren place, with nothing except a rock and an ache in my heart to keep me company.

I feel an emptiness in my heart as I stare sadly at the tombstone that bears his name. Mana Walker. It seems wrong that the man who had meant the most to me in this world was now only a memory and nothing was left of his existence except for this stone. The man who has raised me since I was abandoned by my parents. Thrown out like trash just because I was born different. I know that I am deformed but Mana never seemed to care about that and he took me in and raised me as his own. Raised me as his son.

But none of that matters now.

Mana is gone.

He spent all of our time together teaching me how to live on my own, how to take care of myself and what you need to have to live, but now that he's gone I find that I can't remember anything that he taught me. All I can think about is the fact that Mana, my father, is gone now. I never thought that he could die and I'm not prepared for life without him.

My sorrow knows no limits.

I remember the last words that he spoke to me, always keep walking until the day you die, but I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to go on now that I'm all alone. Why did Mana have to die and leave me alone? This is too much for me to bear and I'm sure that I would be crying right now if I hadn't already exhausted all of my tears. It's been hard since I watched the life fade from his eyes and now all I can do is stare blankly at that stone.

That accursed stone.

"Good evening little one. You look sad"

Gasping in surprise I gaze up at a man who suddenly appears at Mana's grave. I begin to tremble as I look at this man, he's kinda scary looking. He's standing behind Mana's grave, with one hand on each side of the stone, just staring at me and I don't even know where he came from. It was as though he appeared here out of nowhere. I feel my legs begin to shake as I stare at this strange man, who's smile appears to be painted onto his face. It's somewhat gruesome.

"Would you like for me to bring you daddy back to life for you."

This question comes as a complete shock to me. Is that even possible? Can this strange man really do what he offered, can he really bring Mana back from the dead? A tiny thread of hope forms in my heart as I think about seeing Mana one more time. That's all I really want, to be with him again. Things were so much better when I was by his side and I long for that feeling of family.

"I simply need for you to call out for him since you have such a special bond. Think about it, wouldn't it be nice if you could see him again?"

It would be the best thing in the world if I could see Mana again, if he would return to me, but I still don't know if it's possible. Can this strange man really do what he says? Can he really bring Mana back to life? My voice shows my disbelief as I gaze up at the stranger and ask two simple and yet important questions. "Can you really do that? Will he really come back?"

The stranger doesn't even hesitate as he gives me his answer. "Of course!"

He sounds so sure of himself. The man doesn't doubt the fact that he can bring Mana back to life. Maybe he really can do what he says. Maybe it really is possible. I have hope for the first time since my father died. And yet I'm still hesitant. I'm so useless, can I really bring him back?

"But can I. . . I mean. . . will he hear me calling?"

The man laughs as he jumps into the air and summons something to his side. My eyes widen as I watch a black metal skeleton fall to the ground, coming to rest a few feet away from the spot where I'm still kneeling on the ground at Mana's grave. My heart begins to beat faster as I slowly get to my feet and take a couple of steps toward the skeleton.

The stranger holds a strange expression in his eyes as he gazes down at me from his spot beside the black skeleton. I don't know what it is but it doesn't matter right now. All that matters to me right now is Mana.

"Now, call back the soul of the one precious to you from the other world."

The pounding in my chest grows stronger as I take a couple of tentative steps toward the skeleton. My stomach feels funny as I gaze at the skeleton but the thought of seeing Mana again makes me feel better. Everything will be okay when he comes back, I just know it. Clenching my eyes closed I take a deep breath and cry out, "MANA!"

A bright flash lights up the sky, like lightening, and as my eyes go back to the skeleton I watch as a red flames erupts and surrounds it. A flash of light writes the name Mana on the front of the skull. Can it really be true, is Mana really back from the dead?

"Mana. . ."

I call out to him in a tentative voice. I want to believe that it's really him but in this scary form I find that I'm wary of him. Right now he looks like a monster and not at all like the man that I knew as my father. For the first time I feel a small trace of fear.

"A. . . llen. . ."

That voice is so familiar, I would know it anywhere. The man's words had been true, Mana was really back from the dead. Even in this scary form it was still Mana.


At the sound of my voice the skeleton leans forward. "How dare you. . . How dare you turn me into an Akuma!"

My eyes widen at these harsh words.

"I curse you Allen!"

I back away from the skeleton as I hear the angry words that are being shouted at me in the voice that I recognize as Mana's. He's angry with me and I know that I screwed up. My knees begin to shake and as I watch in horror the Akuma that now possesses the soul of Mana raises it's swordlike arm and thrusts it toward me. To stunned to even make an attempt to dodge the blow I feel a white hot pain on my face. Blood is flowing from the wound caused by Mana's blow and I place my hand over the wound and quickly back away, afraid that he's going to hit me again.

I'm not safe however and I cry out as a tentacle like arm grabs me and pulls me toward the Akuma. The Akuma that I had created. I'm terrified of the Akuma and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to die, killed by the very person that I tried to bring back to life. The Akuma slams me into the ground and I feel pain the likes of which I've never felt before.

And it isn't just physical pain. The ache that I feel in my heart is far worse than any physical wound could ever be.

"How dare you turn me into an Akuma!"

The man who had helped me to condemn Mana to this existence merely watched our exchange for a few minutes and then he turned his attention to the Akuma. "Oh young Allen, you're all mine now. Mana Walker, I command you to kill this boy and wear his skin as your own."

I'm scared and now my knees are really shaking.

"I curse you. . . Allen!"

As though he has no power to disobey the order the Akuma moves toward me and I know that I am going to die. That will be the payment for the sin that I have commited here this day. I am resigned to my fate and await the blow that will end my life, with tears flowing from my uninjured eye, however it doesn't come.

I scream as I watch him lunge toward me and my left arm seems to awaken and it grows in size and attacks Mana of it's own free will. Horrified that I'm going to hurt Mana I scream out, desperate to stop what was happening.

"Stop. Don't hurt Mana."

Try as I might I can't control my own arm and the Akuma containing Mana's soul is caught by my hand.

"Run! Run Father!"

Mana ignores my pleas for him to run.

"Allen, I love you. Kill me Allen, please. Free me from this."

Unwilling to do what he asked of me I make yet another attempt to stop my arm however there's nothing I can do and I'm forced to watch as Mana is killed once again. This time by my own hand. Falling to my knees I feel fresh tears falling from my uninjured eye.

Why did this have to happen?

What did I ever do to deserve this from life?

All I wanted was for Mana to return to me, wanted to have back the one man on the planet who had cared what happened to me. But because of that selfish desire I caused Mana pain, which was the last thing in the world that I had wanted to do.

The stranger who had sought to kill me and lay claim to Mana's soul had disappeared and as I gazed around the cemetery I saw no trace of him anywhere. I was once again alone with my sorrow, alone to attempt to cope with what I had done to my father.

"Please forgive me Mana."

I remained at Mana's graveside, still absorbed by my grief both old and new, and I was completely taken off guard when a stranger showed up and began to talk to me. This man, who had long red hair and one eye covered, explained to me why I was so different from other people.

Explained to me about the Mellinnium Earl, the Akuma, Exorcists and the Innocence. He told me that the souls trapped inside Akuma were miserable and powerless and that the only way to free them from their misery was to destroy them. This knowledge helped me with some of my grief and gave me a new calling in life. A way to atone for the sin that I had commited when I made an agreement with the Millinium Earl and brought Mana's soul back.

So when he asked if I wanted to become an Exorcist of course I agreed. I will do this for Mana, I will become an Exorcist and through my work I will atone for what I did.

A/N - and this was my first attempt at a D-Gray-Man fic, which I just now decided to post. Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.