Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everyone in this fic belong to themselves and the WWE. (As much as we would love to attack these hotties!) I make no profit, and am doing this for my own and your enjoyment. Onwards to something better than this boring disclaimer.

This is memories and drug trips.

Welcome To My Life

Red pills, green pills, purple pills, needles, pipes, dope, ecstasy, Valium, vicodin, alcohol, sex, heroin, these loomed in the darkness of his mind, when was his next fix? He was he going to get the money to score? Every day was a different hell and every trip was a different haven.

Drugs kept him alive. Drugs kept him sane. Drugs were the only things in his life that took the pain away. Drugs and Sex.

Sex wasn't sacred on the streets. Sex could be payment for drugs. Sex could be a way of income. Sex could even be the only warmth in the chilled room of an abandoned building in the deep winter. Sex was power and just like money and drugs: the more you had the better off you were.

The sun burned and the moon led way to sin but on the streets you did what you could to stay alive.

Jeffery Nero Hardy was no stranger to drugs and alcohol and sex. After all, he'd been on the streets since he was sixteen and after the first few months of rape and starting drugs, he became used to the daily living and the nights of sex and chills. Now at 25, Jeff knew how the streets were and even though he made it mostly as a cheap hooker, he was one of the few with a small apartment with an actual heater for the winters.

Tonight was like any other, Jeff on the street in a tight pair of short, leather shorts and a hi-cut shirt. Fishnet stockings clung to his long shapely legs down into a pair of knee hi stiletto heel boots. His hair was long, down just past his shoulders. It was blond with black, red, and blue streaked in. Tonight it was down, framing his lovely face.

Next to him was a few of his "co-workers". Shannon, his best friend and roommate was with him tonight, a package deal, if you will.

Shannon was the first person Jeff met when he fell victim to the streets. Shannon was also the first one to give Jeff drugs, show him there was a small bit of heaven left on earth.

Shannon was short, pretty, and very mouthy. He'd been on the streets since he could remember, scoring smack with the money he stole from people stupid enough to come down his street. He knew how to sling dope and easily talk a man out of hundreds just to see him naked and more to fuck him. He was a master of the streets only he answered to one woman that he'd belonged to: Maryse queen bitch and Batista's favorite slut. He'd been paying off his debt to Batista after he'd fallen on hard times and needed money for food.

Shannon was tired of standing. Rubbing his arms he tried to keep warm in the chilly autumn evening. His fingers ran over the dark material of his long sleeved mesh shirt, his legs warm from the skin tight leather pants and booted feet. His emerald eyes fluttered over to Jeff, watching as the older man shivered slightly. "You okay?" he asked, watching as tears welled up in Jeff's eyes.

Jeff nodded, blinking back the tears, trying not to think of his life before he lost everything and he was separated from his brother. "Fine, just cold," he answered, not wanting to share his thoughts. Matt had 19 when he'd left, just days before Jeff ran away from home and landed in the middle of the streets. "Need a fix, if there's no business in ten minutes I'm gone."

Shannon sighed, he only had 200 bucks left to pay Batista then he'd be free from his grasp and he wouldn't have to ever look at Maryse and her overly dyed hair. He agree, knowing that on nights like these it could be torture standing there for hours without business.

Jeff folded his arms across his chest, getting aggravated with the night. He needed sixty more bucks to make his rent and pay his power bill. He waited, turning just as a car started down the street.

Shannon tugged in Jeff's arm, urging him to turn around and look like he wanted the action. "Dammit Jeff, I need out! I can't keep up with the abuse!" he snapped, eyes pleading with Jeff. He needed out and soon. "We just need to score a few hundred, that's all."

Jeff sighed, he knew Shannon needed out. He slid a long leg out, watching as the car suddenly stopped and the driver waived to them.

"How much?" the man inside asked, eyeing Jeff's long legs and Shannon's near bare chest.

"Three hundred for both of us. We'll make sure you don't regret it, Shannon said wantonly, pulling Jeff to him and deeply kissing him. "We'll do anything you want us to do."

The man smiled, dick already hard and tenting in his jeans. "Sold!" he said, opening the door for the two men of the night.

Jeff sighed, his ass really hurt, that guys was fucking crazy. Having Shannon fuck him like there was no tomorrow and that ass wipe shoving his cock down his throat. It didn't matter though; he'd made an easy four hundred out of the guy, an extra hundred because he got to fuck Shannon until he bled. He decided it was hush money so they didn't tell.

Flipping through his seventy, half of their combined total, he smiled, that would get him through another day or two if he went he went to Shad and JTG, maybe even Eve would be there and take pity on him and make him a small lunch to go. That's what he loved about "Cryme Tyme" as they called themselves. They weren't mean, just rug dealers because no one ever gave them a chance to be more. Great guys that loved fun and trouble and went home to a wonderful woman that cooked and cleaned. Eve was a beautiful woman with a big heart but don't piss her off, Eve could send even Shad running scared.

Whatever it was he'd have to wait until tomorrow. Right now h was riding out the last bit of pills he had. They were some great fucking tranquilizers a kid gave him for ten bucks. God, he loved newbies to the streets that were so eager to please an old junkie.

This trip was new, he closed his eyes feeling his body go numb and start to float on his crumby torn apart mattress. "Fuck," he whispered, the colors of different random circles filling his field of vision before fading away into and old but beautiful house, wooden floors, marble counters in the kitchen, pillow topped mattresses, four poster beds, a clean hot shower, and there in the middle of the house on the grand stair case was a tall handsome man, long dark hair, perfectly sculpted face and upper body, the lower half covered by black pants.

Jeff groaned, those sexy lips moving over words he couldn't hear. He reached out for the man, feeling his heart start to race in his chest, a feeling he never felt pumping it. He ran to meet the man, the chocolate eyes soft and full of love on him.

Jeff was naked, he noticed, the bare hands of the man touching him all over. He groaned again, his cock getting harder with each gentle touch of the slightly rough hands. Suddenly, he was turned around and bent over the banister of the stairs. He gasped in surprise, being entered roughly. He screamed, hands clutching his hips harder and harder. "Stop!" he pleaded to no avail.

"Shut up!" the man growled, thrusting into Jeff harder and harder, causing him to scream more and bleed. "You're such a whore Jeff, that's why I left you, you like this admit it! You like me fucking you! Your own brother fucking you until you bleed and all because of these drugs!"

"Matty!" Jeff cried, tears streaming down his face as he was shaken awake by Shannon and his other friend Trish. He looked at the two, sitting up and grabbing his head. Man waking up fucking sucked. "What the fuck?"

Shannon bit his lower lip before starting to talk. "You were having a nightmare," he started, moving to sit on his behind next to Jeff's mattress. "And you started screaming out the word 'Matty'."

Jeff sighed, getting up and stretching. "Fuck," he whimpered, rubbing the sleep sand and drugged blur from his eyes. He thought of his dream brother, wondering if he did look like that, if he was so handsome and had a big house and happy life. Mentally, he cursed, telling himself it didn't matter because to him Matt had left him for dead at their father's house. He shook his head, he didn't want to think about it, not while Trish was over. "You get Batista paid?"

Shannon smiled, standing. "Yeah, got a hefty beating though," he said, pointing to his black eye and bruised left side. "Took that blond bitch with me."

Jeff snickered. He knew Shannon would one day get her back. "You get some stuff?" he asked, hoping Shannon would save him a trip for a day or two.

Shannon nodded. "Mickie hooked me up with some Persian, half price if she could have my blue shirt I stole from the mall the other day."

Jeff nodded, wanting Shannon to hurry and put it in lines or cook it up. He had needles. "You staying?" he asked looking over at the blond.

She nodded. Trish didn't do the hard drugs. She was just another prostitute on the streets. She loved Jeff, wishing she knew a way to get him off drugs and out of this place.

"That Cody kid was down the street again, giving out flyers for some whore house," Shannon said, going to the kitchen of their studio apartment and grabbing a spoon. "Said they were looking for some new 'workers'."

"Rather not be owned," Jeff murmured, licking his lips at the white substance as it bubbled and liquefied in the spoon. "We got cotton?"

Shannon shook his head. "Straight."

"I'll buy the next round."

Trish shuddered, watching as Jeff grabbed a syringe from an open closet and easily sucked the liquid into the needle.

"Wanna go first?" Jeff asked, offering the precious drug to its buys and his best friend.

Shannon nodded, walking back to the kitchen for an over sized rubber band which he snapped and tied tightly around his upper arm. Squeezing his fist a few times he smiled at the slightly raised veins. "Sweet love," he whispered, taking the syringe and easing into his arm, right into the biggest vein. He shot half of the amber liquid into him. A giant smirk took over and he handed it and the rubber band to Jeff. "Mickie gave us some good shit…"

Jeff did the same as Shannon, tie the rubber band, find a good vein, shoot up, and ride the waves of heaven. "Fuck," he whispered, once again thrown back into the world of colors and no regrets.

Surrounded by laughing, Jeff was once again in that house he'd seen, his brother nowhere to be found. He walked finding nothing but random memorabilia from his past, records pictures, toys movies. He saw nothing but his past on the walls of the empty rooms.

On one wall he saw his mother and father smiling as Matt played in the sand at the beach, his mother plump, round like she was with another child.

Matt's little body was shaking with childish laughter as he stood from his make-shift castle and ran to his mother, hugging her belly and kissing it. "I love you baby!" he cried, shoving his face deeper into her sun dress. "Come out soon!"

The scene stopped and Jeff turned to the next wall seeing Matt holding him as a storm raged on outside. They were in Matt's bed, Jeff so scared he had ran from his room. The blankets were over their heads, protecting them from danger as thunder crashed and lightening lit the room.

"I've got you Jeffro. Matty will protect you!" matt whispered roughly, holding Jeff tighter. He kissed Jeff's cheek, stroking the short blond hair.

Jeff snuggled into the protective warmth, holding tight to Matt. "I love you Matty," he whimpered, feeling safe enough to drift off to sleep.

"I love you too Jeff," Matt replied, yawning and just as easily falling asleep.

Jeff thought, trying to remember how old he was only to switch to a new wall and a new memory.

Alone Jeff was sitting next to his mother's grave telling her about high school and how he wanted to be like Matt. He told her that he liked boys too, asking her not to be mad and that he'd found a sweet girl to take to his homecoming dance.

That was a year before…

Jeff turned. Another wall, another movie.

Jeff was on the couch at his father's, watching TV while Matt was upstairs packing. He was going on a trip with his buddy Greg and his long term girlfriend Amy. He was pouting, knowing that Matt could go because he was 18 and later that year he was going to move out so he could start college.

Matt came running down the stairs, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to Jeff. "Don't sulk Jeffro, I'll bring you back something cool!" he said rubbing Jeff's blond hair, now with a few streaks of black in it.

Jeff shrugged, relaxing into matt. "Sucks being younger…" he mumbled, allowing matt to pull him into a hug. "Gonna miss you, and all the fun."

"Don't worry, it's not gonna be as fun without you. I promise," Matt said, kissing Jeff's cheek lightly.

A honk outside made Jeff jump and Matt holler with excitement.

"Gotta go! Love you Jeff!" Matt yelped, running upstairs for his bags and then out the door.

Jeff frowned, feeling alone all of a sudden. "Love you too, Matty," he whimpered, pulling his knees to his chest as he went back to watching TV.

Jeff clutched his head trying to push the walls away, only turning to the stairs and another movie started to play.

"Jeff I'm going to Washington State," Matt said, watching as the younger man painted in his room, his back to the door and Matt.

Jeff tensed and stopped. "That's on the other side of the country," he said, trying to hide the deep despair he knew he'd feel when matt went off to college.

Matt shifted from one foot to the other, the old floor boards groaning under his weight. "Yeah but Jeffro, it's got everything I'm looking for!" he explained hurriedly, stepping into Jeff's room. "I'll be back for the holidays and I'll have a few weeks off for Christmas. Jeff…"

Jeff shook his head. "Don't worry about it Matt. I'll be ok," he said, keeping his focus on his painting, trying not to think of his life at home without Matt.

Matt sighed, leaving Jeff alone, knowing he would want time to himself. He shut the door, whispering, "I love you Jeffro."

With the click of the door Jeff let out a pained sigh and his built up tears. Looking at the painting he gave a watery smile. It was him and Matt as kids holding up their home made title belts from wrestling. He missed those days. "Love you Matty…"

Jeff's eyes shot open, taking in the clean but torn apart apartment. He was on his back, dirty white ceiling above him. He looked around, fining Shannon asleep on the mattress across from the room from him, Trish next to him. Dirty walls surrounded them. He sighed, the light from the curtained windows hurting his eyes. He turned over, burying hi face in his arms since he didn't have a pillow. He hated bad trips and all the memories of his brother. Fuck he hated it.


(A/N): So this is that new fic I was talking about. So I'm really sorry about the long ass wait. It's not the best story but somehow my own laptop pissed me off so I smacked it again my nightstand. Well not only did I succeed in busting the screen to my laptop but I also busted a chunk of wood off my nightstand. So right now I'm using my boyfriend's laptop while he's not working until I get enough cash to buy a new screen or an entire new laptop. Anyway. I have more chapters written but they have yet to be typed. Anyway, I hope this is good and you want more. I promise there is so much more to go. The song title is Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan.