Another fic from deviantART. This one was written for a DP-RealFans contest—What does Vlad do in his spare time? And I responded with a crackfic. As usual.


Danny Phantom stood stock still in the middle of Vlad Plasmius's secret laboratory. Coming from above him were thumps and bangs, made to a background of whines, rhythmic poundings, and what sounded like someone screaming in pain. This did not bode well. Danny sighed and rolled his eyes.

Just my luck. I come all the way here to give Vlad a birthday present, only to have to rescue someone from him. Great. And I was hoping to be home in time for dinner.

Danny set down the cage he was holding and took off upwards. He needed to find the source of the noises. They weren't as bad from this floor, though. The background noise didn't really sound like a fight anymore. He phased through another ceiling.

It definitely wasn't a fight anymore. Danny didn't know what it was, but it certainly wasn't violent. The noise could very possibly be interpreted, by someone with an open mind and bad ear, as music. Now Danny was just plain curious.

Another floor, this time the right one. Whatever was going on was at the end of the hallway, behind the oak doors. And it was definitely someone's idea of music now. The louder thumping that didn't completely mesh with the beat appeared to be dancing, if that was possible.

Danny cautiously floated down the hallway invisibly, thanking the heavens that Vlad's powers didn't include a ghost sense like his did. Once he got to the doors, Danny popped his head through them and had to fight back laughter.

Vlad Masters, Plasmius' human half, was spinning wildly and doing some messy and complicated footwork. Blasting from a stereo system that outdid Sam's was something Danny had last heard when he'd gone to the 80's disco with his family. "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," judging by the chorus.

Vlad slowed down as the song ended and Danny was able to take in more of his appearance. Vlad's white hair was half out of its ponytail, he was dressed in shiny pants and a violently purple shirt, and he was loosely holding a spoon in his right hand. A moment's pause and the music started up again. The rock beat was slightly stronger this time and Vlad took a moment out of his "dancing" to cross to a small table and click a remote. The Maddie Hologram flickered into being and Vlad took her hand as he began singing along to the music.

Colour me your colour, baby,

Colour me your car…

The hologram, pressed up against Vlad, giggled flirtily and Danny nearly wretched. To save his cover, he pulled his head back through the door and slammed it repeatedly with his hand to get rid of the not-so-mental images. When he was nearly done, the last chorus of the song blared out through the doors.

Call me (call me) on the line

Call me, call me any, anytime

Call me (call me), my love,

You can call me any day or night

Call me

The CD switched tracks again, to an upbeat dance track with a heavy beat and what Danny acknowledged was an awesome guitar line. He grinned. Seeing Vlad dance to this one would be priceless. On a sudden inspiration, he dug his camera phone out of his pocket and brought it through the door with him just in time for the chorus.

Loose, footloose

Kick off your Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Pull me offa my knees

Jack, get back

C'mon before we crack

Lose your blues

Everybody cut footloose

He wasn't disappointed. The hologram had mercifully vanished, but Vlad seemed to be trying to imitate that guy from that movie … Kevin Ham? Kevin Chops? Didn't matter, really. Danny was getting some really great footage.

The boy's delight didn't stop as the CD switched tracks again. He knew this song well. Danny's dad watched this movie all the time. Apparently, Vlad liked it too, because he quickly started doing actions and was really getting into the lyrics.

An invisible man, sleeping in your bed.

Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!

At that point, Danny's phone hit its storage capacity and gave a soft beep that Vlad thankfully didn't hear over the music. Danny phased his head and hand back into the hallway, quietly shut his phone, and dropped two floors back into the basement lab. Then he straightened the bow on the cage, petted Phantom who gave a soft yowl back, and flew through the Plasmius Portal back into the Ghost Zone. He'd given Vlad what he needed for his birthday, he was going to be home for dinner after all, and he'd gotten blackmail footage out of his trip too. This was possibly the best day Danny had had in a while, as long as he could ignore the image of Vlad trying to romance a hologram of his mom.

---

Back in Wisconsin, the CD of 1980's hits finally spun to a stop. Vlad relaxed and walked over to the soft leather couch he'd placed in his entertainment room, picking up a remote control on the way. He pressed a button on it as he sat down, and a moment later heard Maddie's beautiful voice say, "I just love your dancing, Vladdiekins. It takes me back."

"Me too," Vlad murmured. Even though his eyes were closed, he knew the hologram of his true love was crossing the floor and taking her seat beside him, because that's what she was programmed to do.

Ah, thought Vlad, there isn't much that could make this day more perfect. I signed another contract, the new clone's apparently stable in Colorado, I've got three schemes to enact tomorrow, I have a beautiful woman by my side, and I've just revisited my youth. Oh, and Daniel didn't come by. I thought for sure he would have, though I think I'm lucky he didn't. If he caught me dancing, he'd never let it go.

"I love you, cupcake," said the HoloMaddie. Vlad did, oblivious to the cat waiting in his lab, or the snapshots that were soon to be circulated within Team Phantom for laughs. He'd find out about those tomorrow.