Summary: What does Jessica think when she stumbles upon a wedding invitation during the course if a "normal" day? What is Mike thinking during the wedding, when Jessica is his date? Hilarity ensues when someone decides to stalk the Cullen house, looking for revenge. R & R

Chapter one: Outfits and invitations

A.N. Whenever there is a spelling mistake in this chapter, it is intentional. Like with her shoes, it's that way on purpose.


I skipped out of my parent's old, delopadated house in my sad hometown of Forks.

Awww man. Those prep classes were really helping surpass my already superior intelligence. I guess it was worth losing the nose job.

I mean, Gawd! I didn't have the perfect nose, but neither did Bella, and Edward still likes her doesn't he? My guess was that he liked his girls smart and sweet.

Lauren got a nose job, but her bleached hair obviously keeps the facts out of her brain. Edward has always hated her, she's a bitch and a ditz, plus that "visionary" haircut makes her look like a clown.

I snickered. 'Bitch Ditz.' I am too funny.

"Yaaahh!" I yelped, suddenly finding myself lying facedown on my parent's driveway. How embarassing! I quickly hopped up and smoothed out my simple, yet fashionable hot pants and punny tee, looking around to make sure no one saw that.

It seems as if no one did, so I checked my clothes one more time, just to make sure nothing was wrong. Money was tight, seeing as where I had applied to college, and I couldn't afford any new clothing or accessories.

My 'BCBG' knockoffs looked so real that even the Great Alice Cullen wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Unless she saw the tag, conviently reading 'BCBD.'

My shirt today was hilarious. It was a light grey, short sleeve t-shirt that said "Dracula Sucks." It looked like it was written in blood, and there was a picture of the actor below it, along with a few strategic rips. Punny, indeed.

I had on some blood red high heels to match the shirt that I bought from a street vendor in Port Angeles. The best part-THEY WERE REAL MARC JAKKOBS! I could not believe the deal I got. The vendor only charged me $125 dollars, while retail was at least three hundred.

All in all, the perfect look for me to go and talk with Edward. Sexy, yet smart and sweet. Perfect.

You see, a few months back, while we were still in high school, I heard from Lauren who heard from Tyler who heard from Mike who heard from Ben who heard from Angela who had heard from Bella herself, that she and Edward would both be, along with the rest of his family, attending Southeast Alaska University in the Fall.

The first thought on everyone's mind, naturally, was why? Bella hated the cold, and Alaska was twice as cold as Forks. Then, I realized what this would mean for me. I had applied to a party school in Florida, hence the new warmer wardrobe, but that would mean I would be all the way across the country from my beloved Edward. If that be the case, before I could do anything to make him finally acknowledge our mutual love, the little skank would have just sunk her claws in deeper.

That's right. You heard me. The bitch would have tricked him into marriage!

She would probably make up some ridiculous story about an unexpected pregnancy, and my sexy little Edward would feel so horrible, he would propose. I mean, that's what I would do if I was her, and we all know about the little weekend trips that they had. I'm not stupid. She would, coincedentally, "lose the baby." His Father is a Doctor, it shouldn't be that hard to convince them.

So I went and . . . Payed a visit to my old friend Mike.

Once I had convinced him, more or less, he agreed to help me. It seems as if my ex was equally disheartened by the news. It was obvious to anyone that he was completely obsessed.

Well, except to himself.

He had been accepted into the University of Seattle, but once he heard my plan, his changed dramatically.

We both applied to the University of Alaska, and we both got in.

The plan was to try and break the happy couple up as much as possible in Forks, then crush them in college.

And it would work. Mike would finally get Bella and my prescious Edward would at last be free of her. All would be happy, starting with my visit to Edward today.

Seduction was always one of my stronger points, not to braaaggg or anything.

Oh who I am I kidding! No one could resist my powers. Bella and Edward would never know what hit them.

Finally remembering why I even wasted the time to walk outside in the first place, I ended my ginormous rant, and went to grab the mail.

There wasn't that much. Looking through the stack quickly appeared to show housing bills, credit card bills, and student food plan bills. I smirked.

Allllllllllll me.

At the bottom of the stack was an envelope that was certainly not a bill. It was thick and stiff and expensive looking, adressed to 'Miss Jessica Stanely and Family.'

I quickly ran the way up the driveway and threw all the bills on our orange kitchen counter. Taking the thick one, I ran to my room and flung it on my bed, preparing to open it.

It was firstly addressed to me, right?

Following it's movements, I bounced onto the fluffy pink canopy bed I've had since I was nine. I always wanted to be a princess. Hmmmm. . . King Edward and his beautiful Queen Jessica with their adorable son, Prince Jasper Xavier and lovely Princess Esmerelda Daniellienda. I have such a way with names.

I wanted to be mindful of the paper, seeing as how it felt more expensive than my shoes, which was saying a lot.

But hell, when am I ever mindful of anything?

I ripped that sucker open faster than the time I had gone with Mike to Lookout Point and we had, ahem, "parked."

It read as so,

'You have been cordigially invited to the union of marriage of the children of:

Carlisle and Esme Cullen
Charles Swan and Renee Dywer

On the date of August the
Thirteenth, two thousand and six
At the Cullen Estate

May God bless Edward and Isabella's souls for all of eternity'

Oh, that was nice. A wedding. I haven't been to a wedding sin--

Wait. Wait one second and Back. It. Up.


I quickly picked the invitation back up off where it had settled on the floor and read it again.

Yes, yes, Cullen, Swan, August. There. There it was. '--Edward and Isabella's souls for all of eternity.'

"WHAT!" I shrieked.

When did this happen?! That us supposed to be ME on that invitation! My name! Soon-to-be-Mrs. JESSICA Cullen.

Not Isabella. Sneer.

My plan. My future. My Edward. It was all supposed to be mine! And today was the day I was going to get it allllll! Not lose it!

What. The. Fuck.

Today was not going good for me. First, I fall flat on my face, almost ruining my new outfit, put together especially Edward.

Now! They're getting married. Sneer.

I have to stop this!

I have to.

A.N. Hope you liked first chapter. I am very interested in this story, so expect frequent updates. Next chapter-still Jessica, bit she confronts B/E and Mike. Ooooh. Stay tuned for the drama.