A.N I do not own 'Twilight' or any of it's characters.

I'm posting this now, because I'm bored of waiting for it to be validated on Twilighted (where I normally post my stories first) That's why it's taking a while to update my other story - 'Boot Camp' - on here, you see I have to wait until this is validated there before I can update 'Boot Camp'.


This popped into my head after thinking about how Jenks thought of the Cullen's as criminals … or at least that's what I imagined him thinking. Then this idea just kind of formed.

Welcome to the family, hope you settle in nicely…

Chapter One - Blood and Ice-Cream

"I swear to Lucifer, Edward, if you do not fucking shut him up in the next minute I am going to rip your head off your shoulders and feed it to the lions at the zoo!" Bella stood in front of me with her hands on her hips, glaring. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and her pouty lips were set in a thin line. God she was sexy when she was angry, "He's doing my head in and I cannot get any sleep because of him."

She was talking about Michael Newton, the bastard himself was downstairs and would not shut the fuck up, and his insistent screaming was even beginning to give me a headache. The bastard was lucky I hadn't castrated him yet. Hell, he was lucky to still have the ability to scream. Bella continued to glare at me, I had come up stairs to see how she was and found her pacing around our bedroom rubbing her temples and muttering her dislike for the screaming man who sat downstairs. She had only just managed to drift off to sleep when he woke her up with the noise he emanated from his lungs.

"Edward, I don't see you moving!" Her nostrils flared and I smiled warmly at her.

"Whatever you wish, love," I said as I moved over to her and kissed her on the forehead, she smiled slightly as I dipped my head down and kissed her swollen belly, "Oh, Alice and Rose will be home soon with the baby clothes, Esme is out picking up the crib and pushchair from the manufacturers." A genuine smile etched across her perfect features as I turned away from my gorgeous, and very pregnant, wife, "Try to get some rest, sweetheart, I'll shut him up for you," I said as I closed the door behind me with a soft click.

Mike's screams carried up the stairs once more, he was damn lucky my father and brothers were not in the house, his throat would have been ripped out on the first scream, then again, Emmett was always impatient to teach people respect for our family, he would more often than not knock them out with the first punch. The problem with that was that he would have to wait for them to regain consciousness to continue.

Jasper on the other hand, though equally as brutal as Emmett, was more subtle in his violence. Half the time you wouldn't know what was happening until you were lying on the ground in a bloody heap by his feet, while he stood over you smirking.

Carlisle, my father, was never violent, but he had a certain contempt for rudeness and he would find Mike's screaming exceedingly impolite. While he never lifted a finger to anyone, he would never stop me, Emmett and Jasper from doing so.

I reached the bottom of the marble staircase in the main entrance of our house and rounded the corner for the back hallway and down to the basement. I had to give credit to the pathetic excuse for a human being; he had a decent pair of lungs on him. Unfortunately for him he wouldn't have them for much longer, if I had my way.

"Newton, you are irritating my wife, I don't like it when people irritate my wife, she is very important to me and you irritating her is pissing me off, so shut the fuck up if you want to keep all your fingers," I ordered as I walked down the wooden stairs of the basement. He snapped his mouth shut mid scream; his bottom lip was split open and blood was flowing from the wound. I sighed, he was making a mess of the concrete; Esme would not be happy.

"Please," Mike breathed heavily through the word, his chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes were puffy and half-closed, bruises were forming around his cheek bones and temples, "please, I beg you, let me go," he coughed and spluttered.

"You beg me?" I sneered, "Mike I always knew you were a pathetic excuse for a human being."

"Please, let me go," he repeated, his eyes closed in pain as he took a breath.

"Now, you know perfectly well I can't and won't do that," I turned my back to him and walked over to the far wall and picked up a chair that was placed against it on the floor. I carried it over and set it in front of the one Mike was tied to, I sat down. Tilting my head to the side and placing my elbows on my knees with my hands clasped together I looked at him, "you're in a lot of trouble, Mike, and you fail to realize who you are dealing with."

"Please, I can get you the money, I just need time." Tears were close to falling down his face, he really was pathetic - and very annoying.

"That's the problem, I gave you time, you missed the deadline," I sighed, "if I give you anymore time people will think that they too can get more time, now we can't have that, can we? You had a deadline, I expected you to keep to that deadline. I get very annoyed when people don't stick to the agreements they make."

Out of no where his eye's blinked rapidly and his head flopped forward, I sighed, "Look alive!" I said as I grabbed onto his hair and yanked his head back, he whimpered and his eyes closed. I rolled my eyes and huffed, checking his pulse and discovering that he has just fallen unconscious - probably from the pain - I stood from the chair and walked over to one of the cabinets. I opened a draw and pulled out the duct tape, sealed his mouth shut and cleared his nose of blood so he could still breathe; I wasn't done with him yet.

At least now he was going to be quiet and Bella could hopefully get some shut eye. She really did need her rest.

I heard the sound of gravel crunching above me and climbed the stairs out of the basement, locking the door behind me and putting the key in my back pocket.

I found my sisters standing at the front door surrounded by shopping bags, half I assumed were for the baby, the other half I assumed was split evenly between the two women staring at me to help them carry the bags up the stairs.

I smiled and walked over to them, "Hello, Alice," I bent down and gave my younger sister a kiss on the cheek, "Hello, Rose," I turned to my brother's wife and kissed her cheek as well. Rosalie and Alice were polar opposites in appearance; Rose was tall, leggy with long blonde hair. Alice was short to the extreme with hair to match her pixie style - short and jet black. What they did have in common was a shared desire to spend as much money as they could in their lifetime, they were lucky they belonged to this family.

"Good afternoon, Edward, please help us with these bags," Alice danced past me and started to ascend the main stairs, "Is Bella okay?"

"Yes, she is resting at the moment," I answered as I grabbed all the bags off the ground and hauled them up behind her, Rose closed the front door and followed us up to mine and Bella's bedroom on the third floor.

We had the east side of the third floor to ourselves and our daughter, our bedroom was at the very far side and over looked the lake at the back of the house. My study was the next room along, followed by Bella's library and my music room was across the hall from that. Our daughter's room was two doors down from our bedroom and her playroom was right next to it. A nursery was attached to our room and that left a few spare rooms along the hallways to be used for whatever else we might need in the years to come.

With the space we had in the house it made sense for us all to live there, plus, it was easier to live together for our line of work and family was very important to us. However, the size of our home made it easy to feel like we each had a house of our own.

Bella was sat up in our bed with her back resting against a mountain of fluffed up pillows, she smiled slightly as the three of us entered the room. I placed the bags down and walked over to her, sitting myself down on the edge of the bed and taking one of her hands in mine.

"Thank you for shutting him up," she smirked lightly and ran her hand through my hair.

"Was Mike making a racket?" Rosalie asked from the doorway.

"And then some," Bella huffed and her free hand molded around her belly, "We've got a strong one here," She smiled at me and move the hand I was holding, taking mine with it, and placed them on the side of her bump. I felt the sharp kick as the baby stretched out and a grin grew on my lips.

"Well, I'm going to put all the baby stuff in the nursery, then I'm going to get us all some lunch," Alice smiled and bounced over to the bags, picking up most of them in her tiny arms and carting them into the adjoining nursery.

"Where are Emmett and Jasper?" Rose asked me.

"They took the children out a while ago, they should be back soon." She smiled and left the room, taking the remaining bags with her to place in their proper wardrobes.

"Edward," Bella grabbed my attention, "is there anything left to get after Esme brings home the crib and pushchair?"

"Nope, that's everything, nothing has been forgotten. We have done this before, Bella, I do remember what to get."

She laughed lightly, "I'm going to get some sleep now that Michael has shut his mouth, thank you." I kissed her gently on the forehead and helped her lay down on the bed. Her belly was getting quite big; her due date was only three weeks away.

I dimmed the lights in the room and left my wife to get the rest she needed. I found Rosalie in the main living room on the ground floor; she was sitting in her chair by the large window looking out onto the driveway.

I cleared my throat and she looked around to me and smiled, "Just waiting for them to get home."

I nodded slightly and left to check on Mike, he was still unconscious, his chin was buried into his chest and his heavy breathing sounded from his nose. I walked around him and cleaned up some of the blood that found its way on to the floor, most of his wounds were still pretty messy; I didn't bother to clean them up.

Emmett and Jasper arrived home about a half an hour later, arms full and smiling from ear to ear. I glided over to them at the front door and scooped the small girl out of Emmett's huge arms, "Daddy!" She exclaimed, "Daddy, 'ncle Em got me ice-cream," she smiled in the same way her mother did, her bronze ringlets were bouncing around her small face and she stuck her tongue out slightly placing it between her teeth.

"Was it yummy, Renesmee?" I asked my daughter.

"Uh-huh, but 'arry tried to steal it, even aft' he had his own." She looked slightly outraged and turned in my arms to face her cousin.

"Did not," Harry said from beside his father's feet.

"Harry! What have I told you about taking things from Renesmee?" Rose scolded her son as she entered the room.

"Not to do it," he said meekly.

"Exactly, now come give me a hug." She smiled warmly as her five-year-old son bounded into her arms.

Jasper chuckled quietly as he cradled his daughter in his arms; she was only seven months old. Roxanne stirred slightly and stretched her arms in the air, "Is Alice around?" Jasper asked.

"She's upstairs sorting things out in the nursery for Bella." He smiled as Rose answered his question and took his little girl up the stairs to see her mother.

"Emmett, Mike seems to want to scream this house down; I think you should see to him and remind him that while he is in this house he should keep to the rules." I said this with meaning, he nodded slightly and as he passed Rose and Harry he gave them both quick kisses on the tops of their heads and headed down to the basement after taking the key from my extended arm.

"Business as usual," Rosalie laughed slightly and carried Harry into the kitchen to clean the mud off his hands and face, how he always managed to get so dirty I'll never know.

"So, Renesmee, tell me all about your morning," I carried my daughter into the living room and sat down on the big sofa which was facing the television, Renesmee settled herself on my lap and wrapped her tiny arms around one of mine, hugging it to her body.

"'Ncle Em and 'ncle Jazz took us to the beach, Jazzy didn't play much, he just sat on the sand with Roxie," she pouted slightly, she loved it when she could play with both her uncles, "but, 'at's okay, Roxie's too little to play with us just yet, Em said so."

I smiled as she tilted her head back and looked up at me with wide eyes, "The ice-cream was the best part, I got my favorite, do you 'member my favorite?"

"Of course I do, sweetie, mint chocolate chip," I kissed her forehead and she beamed.

"Yeah, Daddy, you got it right," she let go of my arm and turned on my lap, burring her face in my chest and hugging me fiercely, "When does mommy bring home my little sister?"

"In a few weeks, sweetie," she giggled and crawled off my lap, running through the living room, I followed after her, she found her way into the kitchen.

Rose was standing by the sink with Harry perched on the counter beside it, "I swear, Harry, Alice is not going to like that you got another pair of pants muddy," she said as she took the cloth she was holding in her hand and wiped his face, he grinned slightly.

"Rosie?" Renesmee chimed from the floor by Rosalie's feet.

"Yes?" Rose looked down at my daughter with a smile.

"Can I get up to the sink, my hands are sticky."

Rose laughed lightly and bent down to pick up her niece, placing her on the other side of the sink from Harry.

"At least you don't have mud all over you clothes," Rosalie smiled warmly.

"'Arry, went to play on the swings in the park, we went there aft' the beach, he fell on the ground aft' he jumped off the swing,"

Harry stuck his tongue out at his younger cousin, "well, you fell on the beach, s'not my fault mud is messier than sand," he smirked slightly, they would always tease each other incessantly, but at the end of the day the two loved spending time together.

Rose shook her head as she turned on the tap and let Renesmee put her hands under the running water and wiped them with the cloth, "There you go, pumpkin," She turned off the tap and dried Renesmee's hands off with a towel, turning to dry Harry's face once she finished.

I walked over to the sink to help her place the children back on their feet, "Thank you," Rose said to me with a smile, "come on, Harry, let's get you a change of clothes and you can go play with Renesmee." She took her sons hand and led him out of the kitchen.

I took my daughter through to the playroom on the ground floor, where most of the children's toys were. I placed her on one of the large beanbags and turned on the television in the corner, she giggled lightly as her favorite cartoon came on the screen.

I heard Alice call out from the front hall, "I'm going to get take-out, I'll be back in twenty."


I'd love to hear from you.

p.s Here's their ages for you…
Carlisle Cullen - 47
Esme Cullen - 45

Emmett Cullen - 26
Edward Cullen - 24
Alice Cullen-Whitlock - 22

Rosalie Cullen - 25
Bella Cullen - 23
Jasper Whitlock - 23

Harry Cullen - 5
Renesmee Cullen - 4
Roxanne Cullen-Whitlock - 7 months