A/N: hello readers welcome to DFN (digimon frontier news) when our favorite Digimon characters give the recently made up news! Yeah! I'm the director, producer etc.
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon all the news here are not actual facts....I think
chapter 1: the pilot episode
and now lets begin:
nothing happened all is in silence
Takuya: yes what's the matter, are we ready?
Yeah but I forgot to hire a sound guy, you know those who put the music intro and special effects , can you hum a song?, it doesn't matter what song, I just don't have any
Takuya: huh? But...I don't want to, I don't know any so-
just do it goddammit! Time is running out.
Takuya: okay okay don't get mad...eeheermm*clears throat* chan characha chaaann teereeree teereeree boom boom boooooooom taaaraaa raaaa raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chan *pant*
okay that should do it, thanks Takuya.
Welcome to DFN *plays the recorded song of Takuya humming in a small radio* with
Zoe Orimoto and Takuya Kanbara
sports with Junpei "J.P." Shibayama
spectacles with Kouichi Kimura
and our field reporters Tommy Himi and Kouji Minamoto
Zoe: good day dear viewers I'm Zoe Orimoto
Takuya: and I'm Takuya Kanbara. If you are on of the people who said before "I'll do it when the pigs fly" be prepare for do it 'cause the scientist of the university of Porklard are modifying the genes of all the pigs in the country to make them fly, although we don't know why but much people think is a good thing and other people said is was bad, like Zoe, she said she will be my girlfriend only when the pigs fly, Go scientist! Make those pigs fly now!
Zoe: no don't do it, go to hell scientist of Porklard!
Zoe calm down! It's your turn
Zoe: okay....in other news recently gang wars leave much of the stores in downtown with their open doors, many people take advantage of this to steal whatever they want without being busted by the police, our field reporter Kouji Minamoto is in the area, good day Kouji
Kouji is on camera now in downtown
Kouji: yeah take some of those too, quick! (a boy nod his head and run to a store, the camera man makes him the signal of "on air") huh?..aaaa...good day to you too Zoe, Takuya, as you can see all the stores in the area are damaged by the gang wars of today early in the morning, people are stealing even the mannequins of the clothing shop, perfumes, TVs, toys, everything they put their hands on, everybody is making their Christmas shopping today.
Zoe: what about the police? Are they going to sit a watch?
Kouji: I don't know it seems they're planning something but I'm not sure, but- oh looks like a great anti riot force is coming this way, they-they are shooting tear gas*cough**cough* wait officer we are just *cough* reporters.
Police officer: shut up emo scum! (pull out his baton)
Kouji: wait, officer I'm not an emo! I'm just a-*whack* (the officer hit him in the back with his baton) ouch! You pig!
Police officer: Pig?! Now you'll pay for that (pull out his electric taser)
Kouji: no wait I'm sorry plea-*bzzzzt*(the officer use his taser on Kouji)gaack...ddddeeeeeeeaaaa..gagagagagaa.
There's no video no sound just static
Zoe: Kouji are you there? Kouji!?
Takuya: we lost contact with him...he'll be fine it's an emo, on to the sports with J.P.!
J.P.: thank you Takuya, the Chicago cubs won the world series championship yesterday but that's not important, but this one is very important, Michael Ruberfrügen the coach of the Dallas cowboys slice himself a finger while cooking, he can't draw strategies in the blackboard anymore that's horrible it's a major tragedy to the world! That's all for today in the world of the footba-I mean sports!
Zoe: thank you J.P. That was very...interesting, but against who the cubs won?
J.P.: it's not important, nobody cares
Zoe: I want to know!
Takuya: he said it's not important Zoe, I believe it isn't important too
Zoe: Takuya! you too!?
Alright alright enough! The Cubs defeat the New York Yankees! J.P. Don't avoid something like that again or you're fired okay?
Zoe: oh that's amazing, I'm very happy for the Cubs!
Takuya: yeah yeah it was only a championship nothing else...
Zoe: World Series Championship! I think is a very important achievement!
Takuya: yeah whatever! The spectacles with Kouichi Kimura!
Kouichi: thanks Takuya, here is the spectacles section, one writer of a famous writers page the Royal Court Jester presents his new story today named "digimon frontier news" a pathetic attempt of a humor story when the characters are news announcers and reporters, Tommy Himi is trying to make him some question about this strange project, go ahead Tommy.
The TV changes to the point of view of tommy's camera
Tommy: thanks Kouichi, I just saw Royal Court Jester enter the bathroom a moment ago, I'm waiting for him to came out.
Kouichi: that's good Tommy but why don't you come over here to that?he is our-
Tommy: oh he came out, Mr. Jester!
Royal Court Jester: hm? What the hell you want I'm busy
Tommy: Mr. Jester!*pant* wait for me, just a few questions!
Royal Court Jester: Leave alone kid!
Tommy: please just a few questions!
Royal Court Jester: I said leave alone!
Tommy: but si-*pow* (RCJ punched Tommy in the nose, he drop his camera and a moment later tommy's face was in front of the camera bleeding from the nose unconscious)
Kouichi: O_O Tommy? Are you okay? Hello Tommy?
Takuya: I think his dead O_O
Zoe: poor boy...
*enters the studio* guys you'll never believe this, a stupid boy with a big hat was following me since I came out from the bathroom, I had no choice but to punch his face, I think I broke his nose hahaha, guys? What happened what are you looking at?
Zoe: I think you just killed tommy Jester
kill him!? but I haven't saw him in the entire day, he supposed to have an interview with me
Takuya: eh...boss (Takuya points to the TV)that's tommy
huh? What that kid? That's not Tommy that's the kid I just kick his butt, wait a minute*put on glasses* OMG! Tommy what have I done? call an ambulance!
Zoe: sorry guys we have some technical issues, stay tune for more DFN!
Takuya: oh Zoeeeee (smirking)
Zoe: what do you want?
Takuya: look trough the window
Zoe: *gasp* don't s*beep* me, a flying pig!?
Takuya: that's right! And you know what that means
Zoe: can we talk about this?
Takuya grab Zoe by the waist and hugs her very strong
Zoe: aaahhhh Takuya you're suffocating me!
Takuya: then you need some oxygen!
Takuya kiss her in the mouth, Zoe's face is more red than the blood then all become static
A/N: well that's it, my attempt for a humor fic story crap thing, since it has no real plot just random things in form of news, any suggestions are welcomed and will be posted in the "eye of the people" section of this fic, I don't know when I'm gonna update but maybe more soon than the other stories , see ya, review please. ^_^