The Life and Times Of Haruhi Suzumiya

I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya. Although, really, who wouldn't want to?

Author's Note: To avoid confusion, well actually, that's one of the premises of this show so, I will tell you up front. This is probably going to be long, maybe not the chapters, but the story will be. Also, if you have any problems with my story, just comment and I will reply in the intermission chapters. Plus, this posting will reflect the anime showings, random, pointless, and totally crazy. And in the words of a certain person, that is all.

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Episode 11: The Melancholy of Kyon Part 1

Have you ever wondered about the existence of luck? Like, one day, you would be walking down the road, and find a bill worth 100,000 yen. Then on the way to put into a bank or what have you, a car drives by and splashes you with water, then, it starts to rain, and you without an umbrella. Then further down the road, a bicyclist knocks you over into the mud, and then you get mugged. But somehow, it turns out you still have that bill. Then, when you go to buy something with it, it turns out it's a counterfeit bill and you get arrested and thrown into jail.

That's how my first year in North High felt. Unfortunately, prison sounds bearable compared to the tortures of Haruhi Suzumiya. Of course, that was almost a year and a half ago. Now that school was back in session after the what seemed like a prolonged summer break after a certain …. "incident", yeah that sounds appropriate for what happened, I couldn't wait to get back and feel some monotony for once. Then I remembered Haruhi and instantly thought, "Oh, right, she doesn't know the definition of that word." Which effectively dampened my spirits.

"Yo, Kyon!"

I heard a familiar voice from behind me call. Oh, great.

"Hey, Taniguchi." I replied.

"Man, my summer was so boring! Sheesh. How 'bout you? Do anything interesting?"


"Not really. Just sat around and watched TV mostly."

"Did you get your summer homework done?"

Damn. I knew I had forgotten something.

"You didn't did you?"

"Shut up."

"Fine, fine. No reason to get angry at me."

When I reached the top of that hill I thought the usual, "When are they gonna build an escalator?"

"I know, right?"

I heard Taniguchi reply, me not fully realizing I had said that out loud. For some reason I decided to take a walk around the school, just to make sure everything was still their even though Nagato had assured me that it was, I just had to make sure.

I eventually wound up in my classroom and saw that Haruhi wasn't there yet.

Thank God, I could use a vacation from her. I sat down and waited for class to start. For some odd reason Haruhi didn't show up until after lunch, complaining of exhaustion.

Yeah, right, you were probably just looking for more mysteries.

"And what if I was?"

"Um, well, I don't want a reoccurred of the last case we took on."

"Don't worry, that won't happen again."

Easier said than done. After school, Haruhi ran out of the room like Hell was chasing her, which after this summer could be entirely possible, babbling on about something. I wasn't really listening,

When I got to the club room I saw the usual sight.

Nagato sitting in her chair reading a book, Mikuru was already in her maid outfit preparing tea, and Koizumi was sitting in a chair with that smug smile on his face. Okay, I guess one thing was out of the ordinary.

"Where's Tsuruya?"

"She has cleaning duty today," Mikuru answered.

"Had cleaning room dutys!"

I heard from behind me. I turned around and saw the little ball of green energy that was Tsuruya. She dashed past me and started talking so fast that all I could make out was when she inadvertently slowed down and said a sentence ending with "-s" or "megas." I assumed she was talking some story about how she tricked someone into doing it for her.

"And that's what happened! Ooh, is the tea done yets?"

"Not yet. Almost."


She then ran out of the room laughing to herself for some reason. Why Haruhi picked her I had no idea. Well, not really. I knew why. Because underneath that hyper girl personality there was a talented slider who had saved our butts a few weeks ago. That and the commercial.

She ran past the door still laughing to herself. At least I think she was talented.

I decided to skip beating Koizumi in Othello or bothering Nagato with the questions about the 'incident' still buzzing in my head and read a book. It was the same book that Nagato had lent me in the first year. I'd tried finishing it, but every time I did I got interrupted-.

"Tea's done."

"Oh boy!"

I nearly jumped out of my seat with that. Tsuruya had somehow ran back without me noticing. Or did she teleport? Either way.

Tsuruya got her tea and finally calmed down. Now it's time for some relax-.

"Alright everyone! I've got big news!"

Haruhi said when she busted down the door.

"This morning I was here and we were given a job!"

Knew it.

"It seems another person has gone missing."

Great, hope it isn't similar to the Camel Cricket or the Wolf Spider.

"It seems his name is-"

Bird call. Weird how every time we take on one of these cases that happens. Oh, well, I'm pretty sure everyone heard it.

"He's been missing for a few weeks now and his friends where worried about him. I told them we'd take care of it. Here's what he looks like."

She passed around a photo of the missing person.

Weird. I think I've seen him before, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

"And we'd better find him. They paid up front."

"You actually made them pay?"

"Of course. This isn't a charity, Kyon."

Of course not. If this was a charity, I'm a Celestial.

"We have his address, so it's time to move out!"

To Be Continued...