Getting Things Straight

by Ewige Studentin


Rating: T.

A/N: It's a response to "Janeway Lives Challenge" (as you may know, she's been killed off by Pocket Books). Many thanks to polomare for the beta!


A flash of light, and her pain disappeared. Exhausted, she fell into somebody's hands. The air she was breathing now was clean, it smelled similar to an M-class planet. Unlike the processed air of an exploding cube, there wasn't a hint of ozone.

She felt better with every second. When she opened her eyes, a mane of auburn hair was all she could see. She blinked. Her legs could carry her weight now. She blinked again and recognized Lady Q who made one step away from her. A realization struck Janeway.

She. Was. Alive.

She could still sense the rush of adrenalin. Her unavoidable death was only a few seconds back. She glanced at Lady Q who was smiling smugly.

"This is what I call the perfect timing. Thank you… thank you."

Q stepped closer and embraced Janeway.

"This is what I call the benefits of being omnipotent."

She patted Janeway on her back and then her hands moved lower.

"I knew this stupid Borg Queen couldn't handle her toys properly. They all get broken. Bam. Bam. Bam."

With every "Bam" Q's fingers squeezed Janeway's bottom. A new wave of adrenalin covered Janeway. She tried to wiggle herself out of the embrace.

"Listen, Q…"

Q was nibbling now on Janeway's neck and definitely not listening.


The nibbling stopped.


"I have to get one thing straight: I *am*!"

"You are what?"


Janeway used one second of confusion and managed to pry Lady Q's hands from her bottom. The face color of the Omnipotent turned from red to white.

"Damn you, Janeway! I thought you had turned down Q because he was a guy, but now I see you are simply as frigid as a Soronian ice toad!"

"Well yeah, a cup of coffee usually makes me warmer –"

Q snapped her fingers, and a huge cup with black steaming liquid appeared floating between two women. Janeway continued without missing a beat.

" – but not in this case."

Q gasped, her eyes widened in anger.


"Pardon me?"

"Bzzzzz! You! YOU! Get out of here!"

"I'd love to, but –"

Another snap of the fingers, and Kathryn Janeway disappeared in a flash of light.

Lady Q paced to and fro, mumbling, shaking her head, trying to breath slowly.

"This… this stupid creature… turning down… ME! Bzzzzz! BZZZZZZ! But now she'll pay… she'll pay… Straight, she says… Damn her! She'll spend the rest of her life with the most disgusting… most incapable… most wooden creature I've ever met!"

Q's evil laugh rolled through the Continuum, making one or two particularly susceptible Omnipotents flinch.


Chakotay heard a loud squelch, felt splashes of water and had to wipe bath foam from his eyes first to see what happened.

Kathryn Janeway was sitting in the bath tub in front of him, in her Admiral attire, with flakes of bath foam in her hair. Both were stunned for a moment, then Chakotay managed to reactivate his speech center.

"Never felt so underdressed in all my life."

Janeway kept staring at him a bit longer and then burst with laugher. Chakotay laughed too.

"I guess it's a long story."

"Oh yeah. But it's not worth telling now."

"You feel all right?"

"Definitely. Though I was told a minute ago that I was cold."

"Should I add some hot water?"

"Oh no, no. It's hot enough in here… hot enough."

Chakotay saw Kathryn's eyes roaming over his wet chest. He shifted in the tub to catch her eyes.

"Want to continue where we were interrupted the last time?"

"Oh yeah."

Chakotay leaned in, brushed the bath foam away from Kathryn's cheek and kissed the corner of her mouth. She let her hand slide down his shoulder that bore some flakes of the foam too.

"Since when do you use my almond bath foam, anyway?"

Chakotay answered without stopping his kisses.

"It's a long story, honey… not worth telling now, believe me."