Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, and make no profit from writing this story. South Park & Characters are property of Matt Stone & Trey Parker.


Spooning Leads to Forking

By DragonSapphire


Craig had the curve of his plastic spoon tucked between his bottom lip and teeth, bouncing the handle against the tip of his nose rhythmically, but to no particular beat in his mind. Ode to the cold chicken soup the cafeteria served up, if anything.

"Is that 'Stayin' Alive'?" Stan Marsh asked across the lunchroom table they shared with their eclectic group of friends.

"Huh?" Craig grunted past his spoon, still tappin' away. He shifted his slow gaze to Stan, the other guy in the process of prodding a piece of broccoli to death with his fork.

"Y'know. The song."

Stan made a gesture that, perhaps, to somebody somewhere, actually meant something in regards to whatever the hell he was talking about. But sadly, Craig was just not that person today.

At Craig's blank expression, spoon still caught in his mouth, Stan sighed and glanced downwards with a tinge of red to his cheeks. It would be less retarded to just let it go and relapse into silence than it'd be to explain, but more than anything Stan hated to be misunderstood or have his point misconstrued. If there even was a point to be had.

"The spoon," Stan made another gesture towards Craig's face that time. "It looked like the beat to 'Stayin' Alive'. The Bee Gees, you know?"

Craig didn't know. But hey, if Stan thought he was some kind of subconscious rhythm genius channeling through a plastic spoon, then by all means. "Huh." Craig tipped the spoon out of his mouth, inspected it keenly, before sticking it to the end of his nose, balancing carefully.

"What am I now?" Craig asked, startling a snort of laughter out of Stan.

"Trapeze artist," Stan supplied in a wry, dryly amused tone, shaking his head and spearing his broccoli unmercifully with his fork.

"And you're a barbarian," Craig murmured, mouth forming careful words as he tilted his head back to keep the spoon from falling. "Eat your food, don't play with it, Marsh."

Stan pulled a face then poked and pried the mutilated vegetable from the end of the fork with his fingernail. He let it plop unbecomingly onto his plate.

"They were teachin' us CPR in shop class..."

Stan started in with idle chatter, the acoustics of their friends' conversations in a lulling ebb and flow around them. Why shop class instead of Phys. Ed. or Health, he didn't know. They'd had the practice dummy propped up on the table saw platform, heads inches from the stationary steal blade as the CPR demo turned into a contest of who could tongue the dummy and leave the most spit behind for the next person.

"You're supposed to do the chest compressions to 'Stayin' Alive'. I think I got the song stuck in my head or something." Stan was still trying to validate his earlier, seemingly random comment, although Craig thought that line of conversation should've been pretty well on its way to dead by now.

The spoon fell off the end of Craig's nose, but he caught the utensil smoothly in his palm - which had less to do with reflex than the convenient placement of his hand at chest-level, waiting for the spoon to drop.

Stan jabbed his fork at Craig like the barbarian wielder of utensils that he was, his mouth twitching in a reluctant half-grin. Craig returned the gesture with his own slightly slobbery instrument, reaching out across the table. The scoop of Craig's spoon slid intimately between the prongs of Stan's fork, tiny chunks of green caught in its teeth. Their non-silver silverware caught and clicked together perfectly.

Inexplicably, they both blushed, a prickly numbness shooting up Craig's arm where his spoon and Stan's fork touched.

Craig cleared his throat awkwardly and they both pulled out, pulled back, and didn't quite know where to look afterwards. A few seconds later Stan started up a nervous clicking with his fork against the edge of the table. Quick, fidgety motions.

Counting in his head, Craig took up the bottom beat with his spoon, the same tapping Stan had inquired about earlier, but now with steady intent. At Stan's quick upwards glance, Craig's grin spread. He pointedly looked back down at Stan's fork that faltered then gradually picked up Craig's beat, stayin' alive.



A/N: This was a completely random word prompt I wanted to attempt just to see if I could. Maybe Craig and Stan will have little sporks together... :)