I am so so sorry! I began writing this a good few months ago, then it vanished to the depths of my laptop, because I forgot where I saved it. I came across it today, and so many people have asked me to carry on with this story so I thought I better finish it and get it up as quickly as possible. Because of my fast typing there may be a couple of errors, but I thought you could cope with the odd spelling mistake if it meant you got to read more :) I hope it's worth it. Let me know in a review.
This chapter begins on Valentine's Day, and if you don't remember Uncle George and Al were planning a sneaky little surprise for Ron for this day...
I'm not sure if I'll continue this further, it sort of depends on what all you readers think of it and whether I can think of a direction for it to go in. But I might consider writing a sequel/sidelong project about Zabini and Lily, because we all need a bit of their love in our lives, methinks. :)
- CHAPTER ELEVEN -
I sat down on the kitchen table at the humble Weasley abode for breakfast. I was heading back to school later that day, as we'd just had a week off for half-term and Hugo and I had been hauled back home to keep dad company seeing as he apparantly couldn't stand mum's constant reading. Hugo finished the Sport's section of the Prophet he was reading and chucked the paper in my direction with a: "You can read this if you want."
I lifted my toast to my mouth and just as I aimed it directly into my mouth, I completely missed slabbering it directly down the side of my face so I ended up with a very jammy cheek. Hugo let out a gasp of laughter.
What. The. Hell.
Why is the front page of the Daily Prophet dedicated to a MAHOOSIVE picture of me and Scorpius engaged in frantic lip-lock in the Great Hall?
And why, in Merlin's name, does it say that there is a four page exclusive into a 'secret Malfoy/Weasley romance'?
February 14th – DAILY PROPHET VALENTINE'S SPECIAL
TOP TEN COUPLES OF THE YEAR
1) ROSE'S ARE RED, MALFOY'S ARE TOO…
Romeo and Juliet reborn? Teddy Lupin, Daily Prophet Head Reporter, explores the latest romance to burst onto the Potter-Weasley gossip scene.
TEDDY? Is no one in this family loyal to their own blood any more? Can I trust NO ONE?
Now this is a story I daresay none of us here at the Prophet thought we would be writing any time soon.
That was sarcasm by the way.
Anyone who knows these two (I can count myself among the unlucky few) can tell that they have been entirely mad about each other since one of them pushed the other in a swimming pool. I shall mention no names, though I can provide photographic evidence for anyone who desires it.
Kill me now.
I can confirm, however, that these two, namely Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy, are now officially an item. Not only that, my sources and spies in the Weasley family wisely inform me that the two are in fact planning a summer wedding.
There have been rumours that they are in fact expecting a mini-Weasley-Malfoy, and that this is the reason for the impending nuptials, but I can neither confirm or reject this theory.
Married? Who comes up with this crap?
And pregnant? Teddy is going to die a slow, painful death by my hand because of this.
The most extra-ordinary thing about this couple is the long-surviving feud between the two families, and I imagine their future battles to bridge the gap between war heroes and war villains will be a difficult one.
Turn to page 6 for exclusive pictures of the duo that is the hottest couple of the new year and an exclusive interview with our man on the inside - bringing us the teenage tales of love from Hogwarts castle.
"HERMY! Where are my pants?"
Oh shit. My father was on his way, and obviously on the prowl for some clean underwear. My brother was happily chortling away at the streak of jam and marmalade down my left cheek. My mother was god-knows-where…probably reading a book or something. And I…well I was sitting at the breakfast table holding the newspaper that my face was plastered all over. A newspaper article that spelled my impending doom.
You see, Scorpius and I thought it would be better not to inform our parental units about the fact that we have exchanged saliva. We imagined that it would invoke a typical reaction from my father (red ears, shallow breathing, and other general symptoms of a cardiac arrest) and a not-so-typical reaction from his usually cool, collected father (red ears, shallow breathing, cursed promises of imminent murder).
Judging from our predicted reactions, the last thing we really wanted was them to find out suddenly, as the shock would put both of their cardiac systems into overdrive. No…the best thing to do was to let them wallow in cheerfulness and ignorance, and then if we were still together before we both headed off to work/more schooling then we could slowly spring it on them.
Clearly that plan was never going to be functional what with…
Hold on... does that say 'Images courtesy of H Weasley and A Potter' under that gigantic one of us snogging in the Head's common room?
"Hugo! Are you insane? Do you want dad to have a fit?" I snapped at Hugo who had resolved the issue of not being able to breath through laughter by dropping off his chair onto the ground and clutching his belly in an attempt to prevent it from exploding. Oh yes. This whole situation is just bloody amusing for him isn't it.
"You do realise that he is officially going to murder me for this, don't you? You have broken down the family harmony, Dad will kill me…Dad is going to go to Askaban!" I shot at him as he continued to writhe around on the floor making primitive hand gestures that I can only assume meant that he was incapable of speech due to laughter.
"Askaban? Why would I go to Askaban?" Dad growled, shuffling his way into the kitchen, his eyebrows furrowed with a very dark expression on his face. "I need food."
Hugo managed to extricate himself from being tangled up with a chair (this had occurred during his laughing fit) and calm his erratic breathing so he could haul himself back up to a seating position and ask, "Dad…have you seen the papers this morning? There's a really fascinating article about the Chudley Cannons in the Sport section."
Dad shoves a slice of toast into his mouth and after two bites the entire thing is gone. "Did Teddy write it? Or does he still write that gay little gossip column?"
Hugo clutched a hand to his chest dramatically. The mark of a true thespian, that is. "Gay? That column's not gay. Sometimes it has the most fascinating tales in it. You should see it this week for example…"
Dad drew back a chair from the table and sat down. "What is it? Another one of Uncle Harry's successes in a 'most attractive chosen one' article?"
"I thought he was the only chosen one?" I said, anxiously shifting my bum so that I am sitting on the newspaper. Hugo could see one of the corners poking out from the edge of my chair and burst into another round of silent chortles.
"Yeah, he's the only chosen one in a saving-the-world-from-dark-wizards context, but there's a variety otherwise. I'm the chosen one for the spokesperson for the campaign against ginger racism, for example…" I had the slightest feeling that he was going to go on another one of his endless rants about the discrimination against the red-headed minority and decided that this was an excellent time to subtly edge out of the kitchen clutching the newspaper.
"Rosie? Is that the paper?" Dad asked from the table. Bum. Bum. "Chuck it over here would you. I want to read this thing about the Chudley Cannons."
Err…How do I get out of this one?
"Shall I read it to you?"
Nice one, Rosie. Real ingenious. You really are a master of all subtlety.
"Rosie, no matter what your mother might tell you I can read."
I gripped the paper tightly.
"Oh, sod it. Accio paper." Dad grumbled as Mum walked into the room, and Dad cleanly snatched the soaring paper out of the air.
Mum put both her hands on her hips and turned to face us all at the table. "Ronald, what have I told you about using magic unnecess-"
We have major issues. Daddy Weasley has seen the papers. I don't know if you have yet but I would advise you to NOT LET ANY PREJUDICED PARENTS SEE IT.
Over and out.
Rose soon-to-be-dead Weasley
Hey Mrs Malfoy!
I mean, Rose.
It was real nice of you to tell me about our marriage. If we can't trust each other in this relationship then I don't really see it working out.
Oh and you can have full custody of our child. I don't want to run the risk of it being ginger.
CHEER UP WIFEY!
Worse things could have happened.
Love your loyal loving husband, Scorpius.
MR D Malfoy
Alright now, Ferret boy,
You better explain to me why your disgusting slimy son is on the front page of the Daily Prophet groping my daughter, because if you don't I swear to God I will punch you harder than Hermione did in third year.
Mr Ron Weasley
Oh dear. Your mental father wrote to my mental father.
If we don't survive this battle just know…you are the best kisser I have ever met.
You sent this to the wrong . This is Rose's father, and if I ever hear you mention her in such a context again your life will not be worth living. Understood?
"Yo, yo, yo! Mr Z is in the house!" Zabini shouted, bursting joyously into one of his best friend's bedroom. Scorpius Malfoy lifted his head up from his pillow and let out a strangled sob.
Zabini's features dropped. "Who the hell rained on your parade? Oh no...don't tell me that bloody house-elf gave you corned beef for breakfast again. I am going to kill that little green devil!"
Scorpius rolled over onto his back and sat up. "It's not the house-elf. He gave me a nice breakfast this morning. Scrambled eggs on toast. It's... It's..." Scorpius' face became lined with shock and misery. "Merlin! I can't even say his name!"
Guilliano Zabini jumped onto the foot of his friend's best and tucked his feet under the thick goose-down duvet. "You better say it at some point this fine morning or I'll never know who you're on about."
"It's Him. Al's uncle! The one who's going to kill me!" Scorpius turned around and buried his face in his pillow again.
Guilliano registered understanding on his face about what his friend was going on about. "I suppose you're talking about this!" He hauled his bag onto the bed and pulled out a significantly large pile of magazines. He picked the first one, a newspaper, off the pile and held it up. "Malfoy-Weasley Romance Hits Magical World. Intriguing. I wonder what that could be about?"
With a sarcastic grin at his friend, who had lifted his head up in terror from his pillow again he threw the newspaper behind his head where it landed splayed out on the floor next to a pair of extremely expensive shoes.
Guilliano lifted the next magazine off the pile. "The New Romeo And Juliet: Inside Exclusive." This magazine then joined the newspaper on the floor. "War Hero's Daughter Marries War Villain's Son. Ooh! Villain! This is like one of those Muggle pantomimes!" Another magazine joined the two on the floor. "Till Death Do Us Part – The Disastrous Consequences of Forbidden Love. Honestly, Malfoy. You should have read this article before. The consequences are disastrous!"
Scorpius let out a pitiful sob as Guilliano picked up another magazine. "Bertie Bott's Bean Factory Goes Bust." Guilliano met Scorpius' eyes over the top of the magazine. "NOOOO! How could they do this to me?"
"I think rank-tasting jelly beans are the least of our worries right now."
Guilliano closed the magazine sharply. "What makes you say that?"
Scorpius leant across and picked up the next newspaper from the pile. "For Richer, For Gryffindor-er – The latest in a string of Slytherin-Gyffindor romances has hit the headlines this week, but this time it's different. This isn't just your typical Romeo and Juliet scenario, this is a full blown Chosen One – Dark Lord feud, that has culminated in the most romantic of entanglements yet. Who knew that a Malfoy and a Weasley could ever find their happy ever after?" Scorpius slammed the paper down onto the bed. "Do you get the picture now, Zabini? The entire wizard world now knows that I have snogged Weasley."
Zabini lifted up a copy of Gardening Weekly, emblazoned on the front cover with a large picture of Scorpius and Rose kissing and the caption: "How to Trim Your Own Two Lover's Hedges!"
"Not everyone. I'm sure there are a couple of giants living as hermits in otherwise unexplored Mongolia who don't know."
Scorpius groaned. "Surprisingly, that doesn't make me feel any better."
"Cheer up you grumpy little sod. What's the worst that could happen, anyway?"
Scorpius looked up at him. "Oh, let me just think, there for a second. He could kill me!"
Guilliano shook his head. "Nah, that's illegal."
"Somehow I think his moral judgement may be slightly impaired given that there is a picture of me groping his daughter's bottom on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Oh, and somewhere among there the rumour that I've gotten her pregnant and that we're eloping has got out."
Guilliano couldn't help but chuckle slightly.
"We've kissed TWICE. Twice with tongues anyway. How could she possibly be pregnant?"
Someone knocked on the door and opened it. "That was too much information for Grimmy, Master Malfoy."
"Don't listen in then." Guilliano glared at the House-elf, remembering the corned beef for breakfast incident very well.
"Mr Malfoy would like to see you in the drawing room, Master Malfoy." He rubbed his hands on his smart House-elf robe and then glared at Guilliano. "Alone," he added pointedly.
Scorpius got up. "Zabini, wait here. Grimmy, go to the kitchens. I don't want you two arguing about the corned beef again. I'm not in the mood for your weird little squabbling." He opened the door to his bedroom, and walked out. For the first time in his life he was glad that his house was so huge. It meant that it took him a full five minutes to even reach the door of the Drawing Room, which was in a completely different wing to his bedroom.
He opened the door hesitantly, to find his mother sitting on the sofa with a calm smile and his father pacing up and down in front of the fireplace.
"You called?" He said, his voice croaking slightly. This was it. He was going to be removed from the line of inheritance of the family and kicked out to live on the streets of Muggle London.
Oh Merlin. This was the end.
"Yes. You know I got this letter from Mr Weasley this morning," Malfoy senior waved the offending letter in the air. Scorpius gulped. "Well, I wasn't sure what he was on about, so I waited for my newspaper to arrive, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw the first page."
Scorpius was in agony. He looked to his mother for help. "Are you engaged?" She asked him, quite seriously. As if this was something she could honestly imagine him doing. Getting engaged. Honestly.
"No," he informed them. "Of course I'm not! I'm seventeen!"
Malfoy senior nodded his head. "Alright. And is she pregnant?"
"No! Of course she's not!"
Mrs Malfoy smiled. "She looks very nice from the pictures."
"How can you see her face, it's glued to your son's?" Malfoy senior asked, peering over his wife's shoulder at the front of the newspaper, before glancing over at his son and barely suppressing a laugh.
Scorpius was in shock. "Aren't you mad?"
"Scorpius, son. If it's either her or Parkinson's daughter, then I can't exactly be mad at you for choosing the one that can brew a potion without killing half the class. Besides, if you're friends with a Potter then I suppose it's sod's law that you'd fall for a Weasley."
Scorpius breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive! And his dad wasn't even mad in the slightest! He only dreaded to think of what was going down at Weasley Central down at the Burrow.
"This meeting has been called to order to discuss important matters that have been brought to our attention courtesy of Teddy Lupin and his Gossip column."
Oh. Yes. The Weasley family has sunk to this level. A family meeting, called about a poxy relationship. It's only Malfoy for god's sakes! I know he's son of a chap who was on the Dark Lord's side and whatnot, and that he's an arrogant annoying twerp. But they accepted him as Al's friend!
This is unnecessary.
Uncle George rolled his eyes. "Percy, this is a bloody family gathering not a conference on Cauldron bottoms."
Uncle Percy sat down indignantly. "You carry on then."
I shuffled down in my seat a bit further, trying to see how much I could hide under the table without completely disappearing from view. Al pulled me back up my chair.
"Ladies and Gentlemen...and Errol." The ageing owl let out a withered hoot from his perch in the corner of the room, the position that he rarely left these days after getting on the wrong side of a cat flap seven years previously. "Welcome to Operation Freak Ron Out."
Al stood up as well. "I thought it was Plan Give-Uncle-Ron-A-Heart-Attack?"
"It was. Until it failed. Unfortunately, no heart attack occurred, though I do think there was a bit of frenzy in his cardiac system earlier on."
My dad stood up now, staring at Uncle George with frightful ferocity. "You mean to tell me, this is all a farce?"
"Um," Uncle George said.
"Err..." Al eloquently added.
This is not going to be good. I smiled gingerly at my dad, but unfortunately he was looking the other way so didn't catch my gesture of daughterly love.
"Of course it was, you silly old man!" Lily said jumping up. "All fake. All planned. Even the pictures aren't real. They're actors."
Uncle George, Al, Hugo and I looked at Lily, unconvinced. Dad, however, bought this story hook, line and sinker.
"Thank MERLIN for that! Can you imagine what life would be like if Rose really had fallen for a bloody Malfoy? I'd have ferrets for grandchildren." He laughed loudly, high-fiving Uncle George. "Nice little play there, brother. I'm going to get you back for this though."
Oh no. Why is it that a confusing situation is always made even more confusing by Lily and her little methods of turning things around? What am I going to do now if Scorpius and I really do get married?
Not that we are going to.
We are young.
I'm not saying that we're in love or anything! Ha Ha! I may fancy a Malfoy and find his bum somewhat delightful to look at, but in no manner of speaking does that mean I love him.
Honestly. How stupid can one be?
A burst of green flame shot up from the fireplace at the end of the room, and in surprise, the entire family turned to look at it. If we were all here, then who the hell was turning up to our private family meeting?
As a person came spinning into the fireplace, I had a sudden overwhelming sense of déjà-vu. It was Malfoy, standing in the fireplace, looking as dashing as ever (but with slightly more ruffled hair). Only this time, he was frantically gazing around the room in shock.
My dad stood up. Even though he 'knew' this whole scenario to be a fake, even though it wasn't, he was still not looking too happy about seeing Malfoy so soon after the news of its apparent fakery was blown to him. "What are you doing here, son of ferret?"
Malfoy crinkled his nose at the reference to ferrets, and then his face dropped into a more serious, calm one. "I am not a ferret, and I think the time has come for you to accept this whole fiasco, because if my parents can be forgiving of my bizarre taste, then so can you for Rose!"
Nice one Malfoy. Play it by ear eh? Just jump right in there for the kill when we had JUST convinced him that there was nothing in it, and that it was an elaborate joke purely for his amusement. Smooth play there, you son of ferret.
I like this name.
For future reference: Son of ferret – sounds good in circumstances that require vaguely venomous insults.
"I'm sorry, Mr Weasley. But I love your daughter and if you did too then you would accept me."
Uncle George attempted to sidle nonchalantly out of the room, but failed as my Dad turned to him. His face paled significantly. "So...we may have been joking when we said it was a joke. Ha...ha?"