First of all I would just like to say this is my first ever fan fiction and I really hope you enjoy it.

Secondly, I would like to thank my beta MyGirlsUnicorn for not only reading through this first, but also giving me the inspiration to write this. If it hadn't been for her I would never have started reading fan fictions or decided to write one myself. You're the best.

And thirdly, feel free to review and don't be afraid to criticize. After all how can anyone hope to improve their writing if people aren't critical?

Also if you haven't already checked it out have a look at Only You by MyGirlsUnicorn. Trust me you will love it!!!!!

Anyways I've gone on too long so here's chapter 1. ENJOY!!


I am in love with my life; I'm the shit – literally. I can get any girl I want without even having to try, all I have to do is flash them my signature crooked smile and they're practically begging for more; and why is that? Because I am Edward fucking Cullen, International Superstar, America's most eligible teen bachelor award, and winner of 5 grammys in the last year alone.

But even I get sick and tired of the fame and glory – hah who am I fucking kidding I live and breathe for it, but my father and manager Carlisle Cullen decided it would be a great PR stunt if I was to return to high school for my senior year – you know show the world how normal and down to earth I am, that and the fact that my dad got totally whacked out when he saw the pictures of me and this random skanky whore, whose name I didn't even know, exiting a bar in Manhattan looking a little too friendly, and by that I mean her with her tongue stuck down my throat and me doing god knows what to her – my memory of that night is pretty hazy. Anyway the press had a field day with that one; underage drinking and a sex scandal all wrapped up into one; my dad had finally had enough of the crazy shit I pulled and decided a change of scenery and me finishing my education in a public high school would be for the best, and "generate some much needed good publicity" at the same time, as my father so bluntly put it.

Personally I thought it was a load of bollocks and I protested like crazy, however my father bribed me with buying me the most amazing silver Volvo I've been dying to get for months, so I agreed, I mean I couldn't NOT agree. Well it's not like I have anything better to be doing.

My best friend, and adopted brother Jasper Wilcock also played a major part in me agreeing to this whole thing. Jasper told me, "It's only for a year, and your adoring fans will still be waiting for you. Besides our dad's right it might do you some good to step out the lime light for a while. And when you return to your every day 'normal' life, everyone will be reminded of exactly what they have been missing, and they will love you even more. I know you don't want to do this mate and your upset about our father's decision, but who knows maybe you'll actually like it. And if you won't do this for yourself, do it for Alice." Jasper has only ever wanted the best for me, he's the best mate a guy could wish for and he has put up with a lot of the shit that has come with my fame. Sometimes I wonder why he sticks around. I mean it has to be more than for his unrequited love for my fashionista sister, Alice. He's had the major hots for her since well forever.

Alice, my adorable pixie sister was all for the move, when my father first brought the idea up in a "family discussion" she had a major outburst and said, "This is good maybe I'll be able to have a few REAL friends who aren't just using me to get to Edward freaking Cullen, the biggest fucking dick head of the century. You know they should invent an award for that, and you would win it hands down; but knowing you it would probably only inflate your oversized fucking head even more." There was more and she went on to curse me, my lifestyle, and even went as far as to bring up the time I fooled around with her best friend Tanya, who I thought knew that it was just a bit of fun and that nothing was going to come of it; but Tanya on the other hand thought that something could happen, and was pissed when I told her I saw her as nothing more as a possible friend. And then Alice went on to say "It was all your fault; Tanya never spoke to me again after that incident – I lost my best friend because of you, you asshole. I can't wait to move and go to a normal school. And there I am not your sister." I guess life as a superstar's sister has been hard on her but it's not my fault that the public absolutely adore me. I hate the fact that Alice and I haven't had the best brother-sister relationship, and I wish we would get along better. When the incident occurred, the words she said really stung. She yelled at me for 5 hours straight and every now and then she would throw in an "I hate you!!" and then a "I wish you weren't my brother!!" Now that hurt, and after then she barely spoke a word to me unless it was something like "Pass me the ketchup!" or "Hurry up you self centred bastard and get out of the bathroom already!"

Now I think about it; 3 weeks later; sat in my new bedroom in this massive white mansion in my new home town - well for now at least, it doesn't sound like a bad idea, maybe Jasper's right. And maybe I could do some mingling with the adoring fans. And maybe there will be some hot girls in this poor excuse of a dreary town. I have to admit I have been getting a bit bored with the Hollywood scene, and being asked for my autograph everywhere I went, I haven't been able to go anywhere in public for years without being chased by crazed fans – not that that's a bad thing but it gets irritating not being able to just hang with my pals. Fame doesn't come without downsides. Maybe I will be able to walk in the rare bouts of sunshine for once without being chased.

Forks is the name of the town we moved to and OMG it's small, dull, dreary and rains practically every god damn fucking day of the year. I HATE THE RAIN!!!!

Like I said, there should be some hot girls in this town, and I will need something to keep me from going completely crazy in this dull town. I will have any girl I want, because they will be throwing themselves at me. Why? Because I am Edward fucking Cullen. That's why!!


Saturday morning, I woke up early, around half past seven. And after showering and getting dressed in just a plain white v neck t-shirt, a pair of my scruffy holey jeans and my white trainers, I went downstairs to collect the mail and stopped dead when I saw the headline on the front page. I picked up the paper with shaking hands, walked over to sit down at the mahogany kitchen table where I had a glass of orange juice waiting for me; just one of the many small thoughtful things my dad and Chief of the Police, Charlie Swan does for me, and began to read the front-page news.

"Gifted star Edward Cullen returns to school"

Edward Cullen. International super star returns to a small town high school in the Pacific Northwest to finish his high school Education. Farther and Manager of Boy wonder, Carlisle Cullen, agrees it will be good for him.

"Edward needs something to bring him back down to earth. Removing him from the Hollywood scene for a while will do him good." Yeah right, whatever, not gonna happen coz he's a self righteous son of a bitch.

His farther tells reporter James Rathbone.

I continued to read through the article and I was horrified to find out that he would be "returning for his senior year" at Forks high - my school. Oh my this cannot be happening! Further into the article it went on to compliment him for being bold enough to return to a public high school and was wishing him all the best for his education. WHAT THE HELL!!!

Only a matter of weeks ago this very same paper was slamming him for a very compromising situation, with a skanky whore, he was snapped in by the paparazzi. They were calling him every God damn name under the sun; and now they were writing about him like he was some golden boy or something. Well newsflash to all you idiots at the Seattle Times, he's just a superstar, and he's far from being a golden boy. I mean honestly you've reported a lot of bad things about him, and he's nothing more that a fat head.

If you ask me he's nothing more than a self centred pig, whose head is stuck up his own arse and cares about nobody but himself, himself and oh yeah himself. Everyone thinks he's all that and feeds his ego, making him out to be sooooooooo much better than he really is. He's an over rated star, nothing more.

I cannot even begin to imagine what life is going to be like at school with that pig there. For starters there'll be:-

 Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory (the class whores) will be all over him like a rash

 Everyone will be bending over backwards trying to please him and treating him like he's somebody special when all he is, is an over-rated star.

 And not to mention, there's bound to be members of the press at every corner I turn, trying to get interviews with his new class mates.

Knowing my luck, on the fist day, I will fall over in front of him, or spill a coffee down myself. Yeah, im that clumsy. And unlucky. But it's not like I care what he thinks about me; he wouldn't give someone as plain as me the time of day. I'm just a plain Jane, especially compared to my former stepsister Rosalie Hale, who is head of the cheerleading squad and the most popular girl at Forks high. No doubt she will be all over him, and Emmett, the star quarterback of our football team, most popular guy in school (at least until Edward starts there) and also her kinda, almost boyfriend will become yesterdays news.

The list of things bad about Dickward Look At Me Cullen coming to Forks High is freaking endless.

Life as I know it is at an end; in fact life as we all know it is over.

Next week I return to school

Next week Edward Cullen starts Forks high

Next week, I will finally get my wish to blend into the background.

Next week, the life I have grown to love and cherish will change FOREVER!!