The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has gone off to a party somewhere. More fun madness from my tiny brain.
Bubblehead Plans A Party
"Hey Goose," Bubblehead stood on Shane's head. "Do we have any nachos?"
"For the last time bird," Shane groaned as he lay in bed. "Shut up and let me sleep."
"But it's important for a party to have nachos," Bubblehead said.
"Bubblehead, do you have any idea what time it is?" Shane grumbled.
"Yes I do! It's party time!" Bubblehead chirped.
"No it is not," Shane said, his eyes still closed and he was slumped facedown on the bed. "It is sleep time. As in, I want to sleep."
"So you're not coming to my party?" Bubblehead asked.
"What party?" Shane groaned.
"The party that's gonna happen in the living room tonight," Bubblehead chirped. "Didn't you get my invitation?"
"No, I didn't," Shane said. "Did you send out any invitations?"
"No," Bubblehead scratched his head with his wing. "I guess that's why you didn't get it huh?"
"Guess so," Shane said.
"You can still come if you want," Bubblehead told him. "We might be running low on nachos but it'll be a swell party anyway."
"I am going to pass…" Shane told him. "Now shut up and let me sleep."
"Everybody is gonna be there," Bubblehead said. "The toaster. The blender. Oh guess what? The refrigerator dumped the dishwasher and is now going out with the sink."
"I swear one of these days I'm going to find your off switch and use it!" Shane grumbled as he pulled a pillow over his head.
Bubblehead merely fluttered off and landed on his back. "Come on Goose! You gotta get out more! Meet new people!"
"Let me think about it," Shane said. "I've thought about it. No!"
"I made some new friends. The toaster introduced us!" Bubblehead said.
"You know the only reason I haven't crushed you with my bare hands is that I'm too tired to right?" Shane groaned. "Bubblehead shut up and let me sleep!"
"Okay but you're gonna miss all the fun," Bubblehead said. "And my new friends wanted to meet you so much!"
"I'll wait until the morning to meet Mr. Fork or Ms. Egg Timer or whatever other stupid object you've stolen," Shane grumbled.
"That's fine! The party will run until morning anyway! Bye!" Bubblehead flew into the next room.
"It will be good for you to have a pet Goose," Shane mocked as he tried to go back to sleep. "Come on Gooseman what's the harm in keeping Bubblehead at your place? I'll show you harm, Doc! How about I send you a pet that will keep you awake at all hours of the night and drive you crazy? A flying python from Irwin Five should do the trick. No wait, a rhino rooster from Devin Six. Even better…I'll lock Doc up in the middle of the Kirwin singing crocodile habitat at the zoo! Heh heh…"
Shane then sunk into dreamland, enjoying all the imaginary animal torture he would inflict on Doc. Suddenly he realized that the singing crocodiles sounded a bit off key. "What the…?" Shane sat up and realized that the unearthly sound was coming from the living room.
"Bubblehead! I thought I told you to keep it down!" He jumped out of bed, wearing only his boxer shorts. "That's it bird! Party's over! You hear me? Just shut up and…"
He walked into his living room and found himself face to face with three aliens he had never seen before. They looked like human sized purple penguins with human like hands and wearing red and white uniforms. One of them was female and had long black feathers on her head and was wearing some kind of orange goggles on her face.
"Hey Goose! Glad you joined the party!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Oh my," One of the purple penguin people blinked.
"Ooh, now this is a sight I don't mind seeing," The female chirped. "If the universe has more sights like this, sign me up for a few more years!"
"Ah yes, greetings Alien," The third penguin coughed. "I am Commander Zoon, from the planet Guinn. This is my crew, Doctor Kreg and Lieutenant Bree. We are Guinn. We come in peace."
"That's nice…" Shane blinked. "Bubblehead you have some explaining to do."
"I told you Goose! I'm throwing a party," Bubblehead said. "The toaster introduced us!"
"Toaster?" Shane noticed a strange invention on the floor.
"Yes Professor Bubblehead contacted our exploratory communication satellite with his ingenious invention the toaster!" Zoon said.
"Uh huh," Shane blinked.
"Even before our ancestors left the oceans and frozen wastelands of the north to settle into the warmer, more fertile fishing areas of the south, the Guinn have wondered if we were alone in this vast universe!" Zoon said dramatically. "Our scientists have developed teleportation wormholes but usually they were used for commercial use. This is the first time we have used it to travel to a distant world!"
"We would have done it before but we had no idea there were any other distant worlds out there," Doctor Kreg explained. "Until Professor Bubblehead contacted us with his toaster! He invited us to join the party of other worlds! This is a tremendous day for our people!"
"I see," Shane said. "So you've never met any other aliens before. That explains a lot."
"Yes we were just going to ask the Professor here where the other aliens were when you arrived," Bree said. "He said to call you out and you did! Isn't the professor a genius?"
"He's something all right," Shane glared at Bubblehead.
"Professor Bubblehead, the Guinn thank you for sharing your vast knowledge and allowing us to join your Party of Alien Nations," Zoon elegantly bowed. "The Guinn owe you a great debt! We will remember your name for eternity!"
"Professor Bubblehead! Professor Bubblehead!" The other Guinn cheered.
"This officially tops the Zarthgons as one of the weirdest things I have found in my living room," Shane remarked. "Hang on a second. I just need to…I'll be back…" Shane went into the next room.
He was heard talking into a communicator. "Doc! Wake up! Guess what that insane electronic feather duster you stuck me with did this time? No, it can't wait until morning! Why? Because he's invited a bunch of aliens into my living room with one of Q-Ball's stupid inventions that's why! So get Q-Ball and…How should I know where he is? Isn't he in his lab? Well find him! I don't care what you do as long as you get down here right now! And get Zachery too. Because you are the one who stuck me with Bubblehead! That's why!"
"Have we come at a bad time?" Zoon asked Bubblehead.
"Nah," Bubblehead waved. "We love getting visitors at all hours! Anybody got any nachos?"
It wasn't long before Shane was dressed and Zach and Doc were in the living room as well. "Well at least the mystery of Q-Ball's missing sub space communicator is solved," Doc looked at the communicator. "Now all we have to do is find where Q-Ball is."
"I sent him a message on his communicator," Shane said. "He should be here shortly. In the meantime what do we do about this?" He pointed to the aliens practically worshiping Bubblehead.
"We can't let them believe a lie," Zach said. "Can we? I know the League is supposed to be about honesty and tolerance but this is beyond the limit."
"How are we going to explain to them that Bubblehead isn't the great brain they think he is?" Doc asked.
"And now I will tell you all the secret of the universe!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Really? What is it?" Doctor Kreg asked.
"What's what?" Bubblehead blinked.
"The secret of the universe," Doctor Kreg said.
"Can't tell you, it's a secret!" Bubblehead chirped. "So who are you guys again?"
"Something tells me that is not going to be a problem," Shane remarked. "Come on, we'd better do some damage control."
"I'm a little Bubblehead I'm so sweet!" Bubblehead danced around on a table. "This is my big beak! These are my feet! Nachos with cheese I love to eat…WAAAAK!" He promptly fell off the table. "Who put that floor there?"
"Professor, are you okay?" Bree asked.
"Oh yeah! I just landed on my head!" Bubblehead chirped. "I wonder if there are any wild nachos here?"
"Uh Commander I think there's something about Bubblehead we should explain…" Zach winced.
"Here nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Naaaaaaaaacccchooooooooooo!" Bubblehead walked around the floor. "What was I looking for again?"
The alien commander looked at Bubblehead as if he was seeing the bird for the first time, then at the Galaxy Rangers. "He's not a real professor is he?"
"No," Shane, Zach and Doc said at the same time.
"He's not some kind of interplanetary diplomat?" Zoon asked again in hopes for some reasonable explanation.
"No, he's not," Zach said.
"He's not someone with any authority at all?" Bree asked.
"Nope," Doc said.
"Does he have any intelligence?" Doctor Kreg asked as Bubblehead cheerfully began to peck at a wall socket and promptly electrocuted himself.
"Wow! What a rush!" Bubblehead chirped. He brushed himself off and looked at the wall socket. "I wonder what this hole is for?"
"Not a bit," Shane said.
"What exactly is he then?" Zoon asked.
"He's an obsolete memory bird whose circuits have been frazzled so much over the years he can barely remember his name," Shane explained.
"Memory bird?" Doctor Kreg blinked.
"It's a data storage unit used by some alien cultures," Zach explained.
"Wait are you saying that this is an electronic device?" Zoon was stunned.
"Technically yes," Doc said. "A sentient electronic device with his own little warped personality and feelings."
"Oooh that was a good one," Bubblehead chirped. "Hey! There's a hole in the wall? I wonder what's inside?"
The aliens looked at Doc. "I said he was sentient, not smart," Doc explained. "There is a difference."
"Of course we don't use Bubblehead for storing anything," Shane groaned.
"What exactly do you use him for?" Doctor Kreg asked.
"He's…my pet," Shane admitted.
"Hi Goose!" Bubblehead chirped. "Hey do you have any nachos?"
"Your…Pet?" Zoon said slowly, unable to comprehend what happened.
"That's right," Shane sighed. "I wanted to turn him into a target practice dummy but…Well…"
"I love Goose!" Bubblehead flew up on Shane's shoulder and began to chirp. "And Goose loves me!"
"Well I wouldn't go that far," Shane muttered.
"A pet?" Zoon blinked. "An electronic pet?"
"As in something a child or a lonely elderly person would have?" Bree asked.
"Not one word Doc," Shane growled.
"Wouldn't dream of it, My Gooseman," Doc smiled.
"An electronic pet…" Zoon was stunned. "Our planet's first contact mission ever…The first inkling we have had that there were other life forms out there…The first being to contact our world and prove that we are not alone in space…Is a defective toy?"
"Pretty much," Doc shrugged.
"This pretty much wrecks all the theories we had on intelligent life in outer space doesn't it?" Zoon groaned.
"It's not a total loss Captain," Doctor Kreg said. "At least he led us to real aliens."
"YES BUT HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS?" Zoon shouted. "The Science Council will laugh us all the way out of our jobs if they ever find out this happened!"
"Uhhh I guess this is a bad time to mention that I've had a live feed going out to the Scientific Council ever since we entered the warp hole?" Bree gulped as she pointed to her goggles.
"YOU DID WHAT?" Zoon yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"
"I HAD TO! I WAS UNDER ORDERS!" Bree yelled back.
"WELL WHO'S THE MORON WHO GAVE YOU THAT ORDER?" Zoon yelled.
"Admiral Priplup Sir," Bree told him. "He's uh…watching us now."
Zoon turned very pale. "Uh when I said moron I meant that as a term of complete affection, Sir."
A furious sound of squawks and shrieks came over their communicator. "I don't think he's buying it, Sir," Bree said.
"I'm gonna spend the rest of my career on a garbage scow, I know it," Zoon moaned.
"Hold on a second," Zach held up his hand. "If I may…Look I know this first contact hasn't exactly gone according to plan."
"Understatement of the freaking century," Zoon moaned.
"But you are in the right place," Zach went on. "BETA Mountain is the home of the Galaxy Rangers and we protect the peace and uphold the law in the galaxy."
"Hey guys!" Q-Ball walked in with a grin on his face. "Guess who won a free boat from one of Commander Cain's underground poker games?"
"Great timing as usual Q-Ball," Doc winced.
"I don't care what people say," Q-Ball said. "Those games may not be entirely legal but they are a great way to raise money! And they are so not rigged! If they were I wouldn't have won as much stuff as I have!"
"Q-Ball, shut up!" Zach barked.
"We could always just go back into the wormhole and pretend we didn't find anything," Doctor Kreg told Zoon. "Who would know?"
"Uhhhhh…" Bree began.
"Lieutenant please do not tell me that this little transmission is also being transmitted live on the nightly news," Zoon moaned.
"No Sir, it is not," Bree said. "It's on Good Morning Guinn."
"Of course it is," Zoon winced. "It's only the most popular morning news television program ever in the history of our planet watched by every male, female and hatchling!"
"Look maybe we should start over?" Zach said. "I'm Captain Zachery Foxx of the Galaxy Rangers. This is Q-Ball the real inventor of the device that contacted you."
"So that's where my device went!" Q-Ball said. "It was supposed to be able to order ice cream directly from the ice cream palace on Lunar Five! I've just got a craving for Kalula Brownie Coffee Fudge!"
The aliens looked at Doc. "He really is smart," Doc said. "He's just a screwball."
"Speaking of screwballs…" Shane did a double take as someone else entered the room.
"La la la la la…" Buzzwang danced into the room wearing a frilly dress and some kind of hat with fruit on it.
"Bubblehead, did you reprogram Buzzwang's personality again?" Q-Ball asked.
"Well yeah! How else is that buzz kill gonna liven up a party?" Bubblehead chirped.
"Maybe we should just find Waldo and Zozo and you can talk to them?" Zach sighed.
"They're still at the poker game. Okay Buzzwang it's time for you to have another personality overhaul," Q-Ball sighed as he went to his android creation.
"Too bad we can't do it with regular people," Doc snorted.
"La la la!" Buzzwang danced away.
"Come back here!" Q-Ball chased after him. "Doc!"
"Coming!" Doc snickered as he followed after him. "Some swell party this is Bubblehead."
"Look I made a new friend! I shall call him Snotty!" Bubblehead started playing with a tissue. "Here Snotty! Here boy!"
"Is space always this insane or is it just here?" Zoon asked.
"Well…" Shane let out a sigh.
"Never mind!" Zoon groaned. "We had to find out if there were other life forms out there! We couldn't leave well enough alone!"
"Beam me up Snotty! There's no intelligent life out here!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Well at least not in my living room," Shane said.