Title: Love Hearts
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Summary: America and England get into an argument over who has the best sweets and chocolate. Love Hearts settle the argument.
Notes: Entirely inspired by kitamurin on Live Journal after she commented that I should write a fic about my entry where I was talking about eating packets of Love Hearts (Conversation Hearts to the USers) and absently imagining a sappy US/UK fantasy XD. This fic didn't turn out quite as soul-meltingly sappy as my fantasy, but here it is just the same! XD
"EEEEENGLAAAAAND! YA HERE?"
England flinched at the loud American voice that suddenly filled every corner of his once quiet house, and he closed his eyes for a moment, mentally preparing himself, before straightening his shoulders and continuing to read the book he was holding as he sat at his desk, the bright summer sunlight filtering through the open window in front of him.
A loud bang from the now open living room door made America's presence very well known, "Hey there you are! Why are you ignoring me?" he said, walking up beside the sitting Englishman.
"I'm not ignoring you I'm reading," he replied apathetically, "This book has to be back at the library tomorrow."
America watched as England reached for a pile of small flat round things on the desk in a glass dish, various pale pastel colours, and popped one of them into his mouth, "Hey what're those?" he asked as England crunched the object in his mouth.
"Oh, you call them something different, something unimaginative….Conversation Hearts I think."
"Oh those!" America pulled a face at the thought, "But those are crap candies, they're so chalky." He watched as England took two more from the pile and ate them.
"Your version might be but these are lovely and sweet and rather addictive. Anyway all of my sweets and chocolate are so much better than yours anyway."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
England finally looked up from his book and fixed America with a hard stare, "Like that bloody Hershey's chocolate you have, it's supposed to be your best chocolate isn't it? It's disgusting! It's so bitter! And those twizzler things, no flavour whatsoever, and when they do have a flavour that's disgusting too."
America felt his chest puff up in defence of his lovely candy, he wasn't going to let England get away with that! "Well what about your Cadbury's that stuff is frickin' seizure inducing! It's too much sugar even for me!"
England slowly swivelled his chair to face America, staring at him incredulously, before finally exclaiming, "YOU ATE 35 BARS OF IT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!"
America crossed his arms and huffed, "I was hungry then, and I couldn't find a McD's."
"You spent the entire night throwing up in my bathroom."
"Proved my point didn't it?"
"The only point it proved is that you're an idiot. You even had another bar for breakfast the next morning!"
"Well I wasn't going to eat your cooking was I?"
"You then spent the rest of the day hallucinating on my sofa."
"I was not hallucinating that penguin really ran across your lawn!"
"Where the bloody hell would I get a penguin from?!"
"Well I dunno ever think it might have escaped from a zoo? I know there's one around here somewhere!"
England leant back in his chair and crossed his arms, smirking, "Heh, perhaps I should have given you some Penguin bars instead."
"You have candy made out of penguins?!"
"Oh you did not just say that…" England covered his face with his hand for a moment in utter shock (though not that much surprise), before regaining his composure and resuming staring at his stupid American. "Look the point is my chocolate and sweets are far superior to yours."
"Prove it! Lemme eat some of those "love" hearts then!" America exclaimed pointing at the pile of them on the desk.
"No! Go get your own! I haven't had these for years!"
"Gimme!" America made a grab for the Love Hearts but England was quick, springing up from his chair and sitting on the edge of the desk between his precious sweets and America.
"No! They're mine!"
There was a brief pause where the two of them did nothing but stare at each other, before at exactly the same time they moved, America lunging at England trying to get his arms around him and reach for the Love Hearts behind, just as England grabbed his wrists and tried to push him back.
"N-no!" England struggled against America's strength, "They'd…just be…wasted on you, you…Food Hoover!"
"Aww don't be so greedy!" America grinned, England managing to keep his wrists high but unable to stop America leaning into him, almost face to face.
"Me greedy? Mr 35-bars-of-chocolate!"
"Okay okay! I won't eat them! I promise!"
The smirk on America's face and the sudden change of heart didn't fool England for a second, but when America suddenly stepped in between England's legs dangling off the side of the desk, causing England's face to explode in a bright blush at their groins pressing together, the slight weakness in his arms from the shock let America break free from his grasp. But instead of reaching round to grab the Love Hearts, America tightly wrapped his arms around England's waist and quickly pressed their lips together.
America's tongue eagerly swept around England's shocked mouth, tasting the mixed flavours of the sweetness of the Love Hearts and the slight tangy more common flavour of the PG Tips tea England had obviously been drinking earlier. That was the flavour America was most used to when kissing England, but this odd combination worked rather nicely.
England meanwhile had his hands on America's shoulders in a failing attempt to push him away, but it didn't take very many seconds for America's far too talented tongue to make his arms slowly fall from America's shoulders in defeat and a mutinous groan escape his throat.
America continued to eagerly taste every corner of England's mouth, gently sucking on his tongue for a moment before ever so slowly pulling away, leaving England quite breathless and a blush still on his cheeks.
"Well," America said, licking his lips as England finally opened his eyes, "you win this round, your Conversation Hearts really are better than mine." he grinned.
England stared back at him, a pissed off crease to his eyebrows that was ruined by the redness to his cheeks, "They're called Love Hearts, and that was cheating."
"No it wasn't, I didn't eat any did I?"
England opened his mouth to respond but couldn't think of anything say. He'd never admit it but his brain was too fuzzy from the kiss to think of any intelligent retort, and instead ended up stuttering stupidly, "Y-you…you're just…….what are you even doing here?!"
"Hm? OH! Right, actually this conversation was kinda helpful, now I know not to do this using Hershey's chocolate."
"What are you talking about?"
With the most innocent smile America could muster, he held up his index finger and asked, "If I covered myself in Cadbury's chocolate would you lick it off me?"
Now with mortified stuttering and a face that looked more like a beetroot, England grabbed his book from the table and whacked America hard over the head, America laughing and covering his head with his arms as he fled towards the living room door, England hitting him over and over again before finally throwing the book at him as America disappeared through the living room door.
"YOU!….YOU BLOODY PERVERTED TWAT!!" England screamed after him, before stomping back towards his desk chair and forcefully sitting down.
America cautiously peered out from behind the door with that stupidly annoying grin plastered on his face, "Is that a yes then?"
With nothing heavier at arm's length, a love heart came flying across the room and landed squarely on America's forehead. Picking it off, America read the small text on the little sweet, "Awww, I wuv u too England!"
A handful of love hearts shot like mini bullets straight towards America who quickly ducked behind the door, "GET OUT!!!"
The furiously blushing England listened to America's laughter as the younger country headed towards the front door, "Yeah that's definitely a yes. I'll go and buy some chocolate then!" was the last thing he heard, before the front door opened and closed and the house was silent once again.
Seething with both anger, embarrassment, and angry embarrassment at himself for being horny at the thought and America seeing straight through his protests, England sat back down on the chair after throwing the love hearts and looked down in defeat at the ones that remained scattered over his desk.
England glared at all of them, but picked up the My Hero and stared at it.
"My hero my arse." he muttered, putting in his mouth and deliberately crunching it extra hard between his teeth. "Now I'll never be able to eat these again without thinking of him."
He sighed in exasperation, and as he absently glanced across at another one…
…his head hit the desk in utter failure.