Author's note: I saw a prompt for this pairing at the Hetalia kink meme and got an idea...I REALLY DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. I already said I might fill a Canada/America one there and then I go and fill this...sigh. Enjoy the crack!


Today was the day. Japan could feel it. Today he would finally get rid of the monster of Europe. He had infiltrated his enemy's home undetected. He was now lying in wait in the ceiling above his office. Oh he couldn't wait to see the shocked and scared expression on the Russian's face when he threw the shuriken at his throat. Japan licked his lips as the excitement grew.

He heard the door to the office open and close and eagerly got his weapons ready. But the person who walked into his view was not Russia. It was a young girl with long pale blonde hair in what appeared to be a blue maid-type outfit. Japan felt his face go red. She was very cute. But why was she in Russia's office? Was she an ally of his? An enemy?

He shifted on his feet, which made a slight creak. He panicked at first, but figuring this girl was not as astute as Russia, he then relaxed. That was one of his mistakes. It took only a few seconds for the girl to grab a spear (where the hell had she GOTTEN it?) and shove it up into the ceiling between his legs. Japan let out a scream as he fell from the ceiling and onto Russia's desk.

Well shit.

Japan coughed and looked up into the face of Sadako. Or who he thought was Sadako. It was actually the girl he had been watching. Had she always been so terrifying? He gulped and tried his best to make it seem as if he had NOT just been hiding out in the ceiling. "H-Hello," he said softly, steeling himself up.

The girl glared at him. "What were you doing in Brother's office?" she growled.

Brother?! She is related to Russia-san? Japan cursed his luck. "I…I just wanted to pay Russia-san a visit…um…" He hoped she would give him her name. Instead, she grabbed a knife for her leg and pressed it against his throat.

"Get out," she hissed.

"I-I can't!" he said. "I must see Russia-san!"

"No one can see him but me."

Japan was starting to remember why he wasn't fond of the European countries. They were all batshit insane. Even cute girls had their dark sides. He knew he was smaller than her and at her mercy, but he was a warrior of Japan. He could not succumb so easily! "Miss, if I could only see him for a minute…"

She pressed the knife tighter. "I know who you are," she spat. "You're that Asian country that keeps pestering Brother."

"I…" Japan was at a loss for words. If he didn't think of something soon, this girl would kill him. He slowly reached for the kunai on his leg pouch, praying she wouldn't notice. He smirked when he was able to unlatch the pouch. He grabbed a kunai out and held it up to her neck. "We are at a stand still," he said coolly, his politeness forgotten.

"Or so you think," she replied, jumping up on top of him and straddling him to the desk. She knocked the kunai from his hand and traced her knife down his pale, flawless cheek. "What was your name again?"

"J-Japan…" he swallowed hard. "Look, Miss…?"

She scowled. "Belarus."

"Belarus-san…I merely wish to talk with your brother."

"Oh really? Most people just wait in his office. Is it different in Asian countries? Do you lie in wait in a host's ceiling with weapons at the ready all the time?"

Japan glared at her. "Russia-san has dishonored me," he mumbled. "I cannot forgive him for that."

Belarus stared into his dark eyes, seeing how exhausted he was. But she wasn't about to show mercy. Japan felt her shift above him. He blushed furiously.

"What are you doing?!" he shrieked, seeing her hike her dress up and remove her panties. Then her fingers worked on his belts to undo the pants and he struggled. "You can't be serious! Belarus-san! Yamate!"

Her expression didn't change even when she removed his pants and positioned herself over him. Japan looked up at her. His hair was in disarray and his face was crimson. When she lowered herself down, she scrunched up her face and Japan groaned. The knife to his throat did not go away, even as she started to ride him. Whatever was on Russia's desk was digging into his back. He was quite sure he could feel a picture frame and some sharp little objects that he didn't want to know about or see.

She was going so fast that he could barely concentrate on how good (or bad) she was. He couldn't imagine she was getting anything out of this. His erection was throbbing now and he started pleading with her in Japanese to stop. He would rather not climax inside of a European nation, especially one related to Russia. But she did not stop, instead, she sped up and Japan started to scream. Pleasure and pain mixed together and all he could do was pray for her to finish quickly.

But then her hand reached down and grabbed his hair, pulling him up slightly. "Why aren't you enjoying this?" she snapped. "Aren't I doing it right?"

Japan could have sworn he saw her blush slightly, but passed it off as a hallucination. He was grateful that she had stopped when she pulled him up. He glanced into her eyes and saw that was actually asking a genuine question. He bit his lip uncertainly. "Y-You must go slower, Belarus-san."

"Slow?" It was as if the concept had never been heard of. Was she a virgin? Had she just jumped him without knowing anything? Japan wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Yes." He carefully placed his hands on her hips, to which she gave him a look of death. He then very gently started to rock her back and forth on top of him. He could feel her warmth now and how tight she was. Belarus stared down at him, letting him guide her until she found the rhythm. She started to move on her own again, this time slower and much more pleasurable. Japan sighed contently, pleased that he had been able to tame this demon girl.

But his relief was short-lived, because she picked up her pace again and he cried out, fearing that the desk would break under him. Belarus ignored him as she rode him, chanting something in Russian. And just when Japan thought he would die, the door to the office opened. He saw a large bulk of a man in the doorway and for once, was glad to see the tall nation.

"Russia-san!" he called. Russia blinked at the scene before him. Then he turned right back around and left. Japan's jaw dropped. "W-Wait! Russia-san! Come back! Tasukete!!!"