Author's note: Okay, so I'm part of the State-tan Project on deviantart and I'm New York there ^_^ My friend is Massachusetts and we were talking about different stuff about NY and MA and how I guess it's pretty much a war when it comes to "subs" and "grinders." We say "grinder" in Mass and New Yorkers say "sub" (which is wrong, seriously lol). I guess other states call them "heroes", "hoagies", and "sandwiches." And we say "wicked" to describe stuff in Mass (I am very guilty of this). I've used my friend's persona for Eastern Mass and mentioned Western Mass and Vermont (who is also hers). New York is miiiine 3 Also, David Paterson is the governor of NY and Deval Patrick is the governor of Massachusetts. I seriously had waaaaay too much fun writing this fic. NY and MA have a kind of hate-hate-love-hate thing going on and I've heard some things that NYers aren't very proud of their country (which is why he's a little cold to Al here). I dunno if it's true or not though. I thought it'd be okay posting this here since America IS present.

(if you want to see what NY looks like, just visit my DA page)


He had hoped to stop and get lunch quickly. He had a meeting with his governor in – he looked down at his wristwatch – ten minutes. The line in front of him was moving so slow because the cashier apparently knew some of the people in line. New York's irritation was giving off a scary aura. He began to tap his foot and hoped to whatever deity above that he could order his food and leave soon.

He let his gaze travel around the deli, watching other people with their food with envious blue eyes. C'mon, c'mon, MOVE! he growled in his mind to the people in front of him. Stop talking, take your shit, and go! The line suddenly moved an inch and he grit his teeth. Glancing at his watch again, he saw that a minute had passed. This was ridiculous.

The smart thing would be to just get out of line and stop by McDonalds and get a burger. But he had told himself he'd never eat anything that he ate. He just wanted a sub! New York fantasized about throwing his suitcase at the cashier a few times. He knew he was being irrational, but the thought was pleasant. At least he was able to get his food in the day dream.

"Goddammit, this line is slow," the girl in front of him growled. He had barely noticed her and looked down because she looked slightly familiar… "Hey, what's the damn hold up?!" she shouted. "People wanna eat, ya know!" The people at the front of the line turned and flipped her off, which seemed to set her off. "Oh no they did NOT!" she snapped, raising her fist. New York, sensing a dispute was about to happen, grabbed her wrist. "Hey!" She turned around and bright green eyes met blue. "New York?"

"Massachusetts," he hissed, releasing her wrist. "What the hell are you doin' here?"

"Um, waitin' in line. Duh. It's wicked slow though. And did you SEE what those assholes did?"

"Yes, I saw, which is why I held you back. Don't go attacking my citizens," he mumbled.

"Well teach 'em some manners and next time I won't go postal."

New York's irritation was growing. He heard his cell phone ringing suddenly and reached into his pocket to answer it. "Hello? Er, yes, sir. Actually I'm at small deli right now. No, no I didn't forget the meeting. This line is just—"

"Fucking slow as hell," Massachusetts supplied.

"—yeah that. No I am not on a date, sir! That was—Yes, yes I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye." He flipped his phone off and sighed heavily.

"Paterson's pissed?"

New York glared at the other state through his glasses. "He thinks I blew off our meeting today to go on a date or something."

Massachusetts grinned. "Deval never really calls me unless it's really important. But he's never accused me of being on a date before." She playfully hit him. "You a hit with the ladies, Mikey?"

"Don't call me that."

"Aww, why not? I used to call you that all the time when we were young colonies."

"Exactly. So shut up."

She pouted. "Ass." She turned back around. "Oh hey, the line's movin'!" So it was. New York sighed in relief as he was brought just a few more minutes from ordering his lunch.

"So what are you doing here anyway?" he said.

"Helloooo? Sox-Yankee game tonight. No way am I gonna miss it. West is too much of a baby to come out here with me though."


"I told her to come but she was all like 'Noooo, I can't watch 'em lose!' and other crap like that. She's got NO faith, I swear. But when they win, she's all happy and drunk. So I invited Vermont to come, but you know how he hates you and all your big cities. So that was a no go. But I was able to get our awesome country to come along!"

New York's eyes widened and he stared down at her. "What?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "He was visiting Boston and I told him there was a game at Yankee Stadium tonight and he was like 'Sweet! Let's go!' so we took the train here."

"And…where is he?"

"At a McDonalds, probably. He hates grinders."

New York's eye twitched at the word. "You mean subs."

Massachusetts frowned. "No," she said slowly. "I mean grinders."

"It's a sub."

"No a sub is a boat."

"A sub is a sandwich."

"It's still a grinder! Get it right!"

New York really wanted to hit her and probably would have if a hand hadn't tugged on Long Island and sent a jolt of pleasure throughout his body. Trying to hide the blush on his face, he turned and saw the one and only Unites States of America grinning back at him holding a bag from Mickey D's.

"Hey Mike!" America said cheerfully. "You guys waitin' for your heroes?"

"Our what?" Massachusetts and New York said together.

"You know, your sandwiches…?"

"You mean grinders."


"It's a freakin' grinder!"

"No, it's a sub!"

"Hey, hey! Guys! Don't fight!" America cried, pulling on Long Island and Cape Cod. Massachusetts merely squeaked at having her long ahoge tugged while New York almost jizzed his pants.

"L-Let go," New York mumbled, feeling horribly embarrassed.


"You're pulling his erogenous zone," Mass stated with a smirk.

"Oh. Oh." America let them go and stared them down. "Can't you guys go two minutes without arguing?"

"No," they said in unison.

America sighed heavily. "Well hey, looks like it's your turn to order, Mandy."

Massachusetts turned and happily started to give her order. "Yeah, I'm gonna have a tuna grinder with lettuce and cheese, no tomato, and heated."

New York clenched his fists tightly. "It's a sub," he hissed.

"The cashier knows what I mean, why are you so high-strung about it? Jeez."

"Because you're wrong."

"Guys," America snarled, looking scary for a second. "C'mon, I came to hang out with Mandy and to see you, Mike. Don't go making stuff difficult."

New York frowned. "I didn't ask to see you. I just want my lunch so that I can go see my governor." America's face fell.

Mass shoved him in the chest. "Don't be such an asshole, Mikey!" she spat. "Al does a lot for all of us and you always give him shit no matter what! So knock it off!"

"I…" New York looked over to see America eating his burger with a saddened look on his face. He felt a pang of guilt. "I'm…sorry," he muttered. "What I said was out of line."

"It's okay," America said. "All my kids are rebellious, ha ha ha!"

"I'm not," Mass insisted. "I never seceded, I never went against you. Dude, I started the war for our independence!"

America laughed. "I know, I'm just teasing."

"Your food's done," New York mumbled to Mass.

"Oh!" She grabbed her grinder and walked off with America. "We'll see you at the game tonight, right?" she called.

"Yeah," the taller state replied before turning to the cashier. "I'd like a cold ham and cheese sub please." He watched them leave the deli and smiled faintly. His relationship with his 'sister' and 'father' might be strained, but he wasn't sure what he'd do without them.