A/N: Much thanks to Regina Spektor and her song Samson. It's what I imagine the melody Edward plays would sound like, and was an inspiration for me when I thought I couldn't finish this. And thanks to SM, of course. These characters, and all of Twilight are hers.
After a few minutes Bella gave up and collapsed onto my chest, smiling up into my face. I mirrored her smile and ran my hands through her hair.
"So what now?" she asked.
"Well, there's something you said you wanted to see."
"On one condition."
"I'm marrying you on Sunday, what other condition could there be?"
"First, I want to watch you."
Bella's eyes widened as her cheeks turned pink. "You'd want to see that?"
"According to you, you're quite the master." My lighthearted quip belied the intense desire that I was struggling to contain. My whole body was so tense I thought I might involuntarily spring from the bed. I was a live wire that was just waiting for a spark to ignite. I prayed Bella would say yes, but didn't trust my reaction if she did.
"Right here, right now?"
"Can you think of a better time?"
"Well, I guess not. Alright." My body sprang to attention. One hand gripped the bedpost, while I tried to hide my excitement with the other. As always, Bella was too observant. "Hey, no guarantees that this will be pay per view worthy."
"I beg to differ," I managed to choke out.
Bella moved back and leaned against the now-off kilter headboard, her knees slightly bent in front of her. "Just give me a minute. Maybe you could close your eyes at first?" I leaned back against the headboard on the other side of the bed to give Bella the space she needed, and closed my eyes. Meanwhile, my ears searched out every sound in the room. All that I could hear was Bella's shallow breathing, and the soft thumping of her heart.
"Tell me something to get me started."
I swallowed a mouthful of humid air. "I bought that chemise for you to wear on the honeymoon because I knew you would look stunning in it. I've thought about you wearing it every day since. But you've never looked sexier to me than you do right now; wrapped in my sheets with your hair tousled and cheeks flushed. I've never wanted you more than I do at this moment. The next two days seem suddenly like an eternity, because right now all I want is to feel myself inside of you, in your- "
"Ah, ah." Bella was panting.
"Can I open my-?"
"Yes," she breathed.
Bella's eyes were shut and her lips were slightly parted, her breathing quick and shallow. Through the sheet, I could just make out a subtle movement between her legs. Her hand moved slightly, smoothly, rhythmically. Her other hand was at her breast, using two fingers to rub her nipple through the covers. My hands dug into the mattress at my sides in an attempt to anchor my body to the spot, but I was being pulled to Bella with an irrepressible force.
I was next to her on the bed. "Show me, Bella," I whispered as I lay my fingers over hers. Bella's breathing hitched and her heart shuddered in her chest, but her fingers only paused for a moment. I memorized the soft pressure of the tiny strokes, and noticed the almost imperceptible rocking of her hips.
"Hmm, oh," she mumbled.
Bella dipped her finger deep inside and, arching her finger backwards, moved a little faster. Wetness coated our fingers and I realized I was rubbing myself against her hip. I stopped and held my body in place in order to focus every cell of my body on what was going on between Bella's legs.
"Now guide me, Bella. Put your fingers on top of mine, show me how to do it."
I let Bella lead my hand. It was so simple. Gentle, but purposeful, I should have guessed it just by knowing her. As I felt her hips rocking more, and her breath coming faster I wanted to be the one to take her over the edge. "Bella, let me try. Tell me if this is how you like it."
"Yes," she gasped, "oh yes." I kissed her softly and pressed my body into hers, feeling her soft curves mold into my frame. "Yes, ahh, yes."
She came gently this time, holding her arms around my body, her head resting on my shoulder. I kept my hand inside of her until I felt her muscles relax. Even then I was reluctant to move and shatter the quiet intimacy of the moment. But as I felt her body fall into me, and her deep rhythmic breaths against my chest, I wound my arms around Bella, knowing that she was fading into sleep.
I began humming an aria by Saint-Saenz in Bella's ear, to help lull her to sleep. But instead, this brought her back to life. She pulled herself to a sitting position and blinked at me with somnolent eyes. "Your turn," she said simply, suppressing a yawn.
"Wouldn't you rather sleep, love?"
After watching Bella it shouldn't have been hard at all. But there was something about the sudden stillness of this moment made it all the more intimate. I'd been too frightened to let Bella even feel my desire for her for more than a year. And now to reveal myself completely made me… shy. And I was afraid to scare her away with the force of my lust. It seemed violent in comparison to her gentle hands.
As I wrapped my hand around my erection, I closed my eyes and sought out one of my favorite fantasies about Bella and I. It was something I planned on bringing to life in about three and a half days.
Our bodies were entwined on a beach at night, the waves churning around us, breaking over us. Bella was on top of me, warm, wet, sticky with salt water and gritty with sand. I could feel her soft breasts pressed into my chest, her wet lips over my own. I rolled myself on top of her and wound my hands through her wet hair, tangled with seaweed and sand. In my fantasy I was able to kiss her deeply like she deserved. I pushed myself into her, at first tentatively, but then with more force, driving myself into her, over and over as waves crashed around us.
And then inexplicably, here on the bed, the tip of my erection was warm and wet and warm hands were holding my hips and…
"God, oh, Bella, oh."
My hands clenched the iron bedposts behind me and my body shuddered as I came with Bella's lips pressed around me. I fell back against the headboard and pieces of the ironwork fell to the floor with a clatter. There was a bright flash of light, followed shortly by a loud peel of thunder. I ran my hands through Bella's hair and she laid her head on my lap, and wound her arms around my waist. We stayed there wordlessly, listening to the wind whistle around the house and through the trees.
Finally I managed to speak. "God, Bella, what were you…?"
But as I looked down I saw that her eyes were closed and her chest had resumed its slow and steady rise and fall. I gently moved her head from my lap and curled my body around hers, trying to duplicate sleeping together the best I could. Rain began to patter against the windows.
"No, no," she mumbled.
I rubbed her shoulder and whispered to her quietly, as I often did when she was having a bad dream. But Bella pushed herself up from the bed and turned to look at me. "No, Edward. I don't want to miss a minute of this night with you."
"But love, you have to sleep."
"There's plenty of time for sleep. Not tonight. It's too special. I don't want it to end." Lightening lit up the room again, highlighting the determination set in the lines of Bella's face.
"And if you can't stay awake?"
"Do you have any coffee?"
"Bella." Again, there was an earthshaking crack of thunder. The storm was moving in.
"Fine, I'll go look for it myself. Didn't Alice going shopping today?" Bella tried to move with determination and purpose, but in her sleepy state she tripped over the sheet as she stood up. I caught her in my arms.
"No love, you stay here. I'll find it, I'll make it, if that's what you'd like." I imagined that she would fade into sleep again as she waited for me in bed.
"Do you know how?"
"How hard could it be?" I kissed Bella on the forehead, pulled on some sleep pants and began to make my way down the stairs.
I was on the second floor landing when I heard the crack and groan of a large tree hit by lightening. It crashed through the forest and shook the house as it hit the ground. From the direction of the sound, it must have landed just under my bedroom window. So I doubled back to my room in case Bella was frightened. But when I opened the door, Bella was far from afraid. She was pressed against the glass wall of my bedroom looking out at the storm. The sheets were on the bed.
She was exquisite. Her back was graceful, all long lines and subtle curves, partially covered by her chestnut locks. Her bottom was round and firm, and her limbs were delicate and slender, yet strong. Lightening lit the room again, followed by an earthshaking peel of thunder. For the second time tonight, nature's light gave her skin a chalky pallor. But with the lightning's golden aura around her, she resembled a celestial vampire, if something so unlikely could exist. If it could, that something would be my Bella.
I sighed audibly and Bella spun around. When she saw me she smiled, but that look was quickly replaced with one of shock. She looked toward the bed as if she could will the covers to move to her.
But I was in front her, gently wrapping her hands around my waist. I left my pants at the door. "Bella, my love." I tried to focus on Bella's face, but I couldn't look away from her body; her small breasts with their tight tips, her flat stomach and slender waist, curving gently outwards, inviting me to cup her hips in my hands. I placed my hands there and lightening lit the room again.
"The sheet?" she asked.
"Why are you back so soon?" There was another crack of thunder.
"I thought you might be afraid of the storm."
"They have storms like this during monsoon season in Arizona. I've missed them."
"So your love of dangerous things extends to the meteorological?"
"But the wedding night. You said you didn't want to see me."
"Do you mind?"
"Then let's not talk."
And with that I took her into my arms and flew us to the bed. We were a tangle of arms and legs, touching, tasting, and reveling in the feel of each other. I stretched myself out on the bed and pulled Bella down on top of me, drowning in her scent, her weight, and her warmth. I set about running my hands over every inch of her body, then my mouth followed suit. Every moment was delicious torture, as I worked to avoid pushing too hard or pinning her beneath me. But I wouldn't have taken any of it back. I couldn't, this night was fated.
Finally, we lay on our sides on my broken bed, my arms winding around her waist. I pushed Bella's hair from her face. "Bella, you're more magnificent than I could have dreamed. You've made me feel alive like I never was before. My God, how could I be so lucky?"
Bella smiled at me with a twinkle in her eyes and was about to say something. But as she opened her mouth, she began to yawn and tried to hide it with her hand. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. You should sleep now, my dear."
"Edward, it's practically morning. I'm not sleeping. Let's go down together to get coffee. Obviously, you can't be trusted to do the job."
"That's entirely your fault," I joked. But I was on my feet and helped Bella up from the bed. She wound her arms around herself. "I, uh, don't have anything to wear."
I nodded my head toward my closet. "What's mine is yours."
Bella smiled. "Thanks." And she walked toward the closet she tried to cover her backside. But failing, she turned around towards me and blushed. "This is going to take some getting used to," she giggled, looking down over her nude body, and back up at me through her long lashes.
"I promise to give you plenty of practice."
A few minutes later she emerged wearing a pale blue button down. The sight of Bella wearing only my shirt was irresistible. I was in front of her, running my hands over her bottom, then up her front to cup her breasts. "Dressed like this I may never let you out of this room."
"Then excuse me while I find something woolen and bulky." She took a step toward the closet, but I pulled her in toward me.
"Please don't change. I'll be good."
Bella showed me how to make coffee and how she liked it, with plenty of milk, no sugar. As she moved around the kitchen, I played with her hair and held her waist. I took in the glow of her skin in the changing light, as dawn broke over our little piece of the world. Bella sat on one of the stools arranged along around the butcher-block island, a warm cup of coffee in her hands. Those hands had traced every plane of my body throughout the night. It was hard to believe that something as strong as a vampire could be made vulnerable by something so delicate.
I watched her savor her coffee, it's aroma filled the house, mixing with the floral notes of Bella's scent. Her scent was everywhere: on my body, in my room, on my bed. I breathed deeply, filled with joy, gentle desire, and boundless love.
Bella turned to look at me on the stool. "Would you play something on the piano for me?"
I was startled out of my reverie. "Of course."
She followed me to the piano, and snuggled into my side on the bench. I chose Saint-Saens again, Softly Awakens My Heart from Samson and Delilah. Gradually, the aching melody of the contralto solo began to blend in with the soaring notes of Bella's lullaby, weaving in and out of one another effortlessly.
I would willingly be Bella's Samson. If only she were my Delilah, and could take away my strength. If she were Delilah there would be no betrayal. We would just go back to bed, wake up and make coffee. She'd wear one of my shirts and I'd take her on the piano bench. There would be no legendary monsters, no ire from the Volturi, just a man and a woman making love in the early morning light.
I knew what this night had revealed, that the decision was made. Bella would be one of us; she had to be. But it was my second choice for us. My first choice would be to be human for her. But that was impossible. Instead Bella would change for me, sacrifice for me.
I knew now that my previous desire was untenable. We couldn't remain two separate creatures forever. This delicate balance could only be held for so long. I would cherish this time where we stood on the knife's edge; for it's precarious position is what made it all the more sweet.
The music coming forth from my fingertips had changed, a new melody surged forth from the remnants of Saint-Saens and the lullaby. It was delicate, soft, and vulnerable. It was the melody of my heart if it could beat. It was the melody Samson heard as he laid himself bare for his love. It was the melody of a man when he finally gives himself completely to his mate. This was my song. Bella's lullaby dipped and surged within the phrasing, and somehow the two met in the end, as if in an embrace.
My hands lay still on the keys. Bella sighed next to me and laid her head against my shoulder. "Edward, the notes that come out of your hands, out of your heart, they're so beautiful."
"You bring it out of me," I said, turning to face her. There were tears flowing down her cheeks. I rubbed my thumb under her eyes, wiping away the tears, and pushed her hair behind her ears. The storm had passed, and now full morning light slanted through the windows. I cold see the shattered rays of the sun reflect from my skin and sparkle in Bella's eyes. Holding my gaze, Bella climbed onto my lap.
"I love you with all my heart."
"As I love you."
She moved her head toward me slowly, only closing her eyes when our lips met. Bella's hands wound around my head, and moved slowly, softly through my hair. As her face brushed against mine, she left warm tears on my cheeks. They may as well have been my tears. What we had right now was so beautiful, and so tenuous. It was something that had to be protected from the world, because it was impossible. I could feel it tearing apart at the edges as we sat here in our embrace. Bella would leave in an hour. But this, what we had, was so tender. How much time did we have?
"Edward, I'm afraid to let you go. It's like all of this might evaporate when I leave."
"Tonight will live forever in this house, Bella. Like I told you about the forest. It will stand outside of time, and I'll hold it here for you, always."
"Tell me you love me."
"I love you, Bella. You know I do. I will forever."
Bella's kisses became more urgent and she wound her legs around my waist. My body responded to her immediately. She clung to my back, and I felt her nails on my skin. I tore open her shirt and ran my hands over her bare body. She was resplendent in the bright morning light, and I was lightheaded with the site of her.
I moved myself under her, against her, and she moaned into my mouth. I wound my hands through her hair.
"Take me, Edward. Take me now," she desperately pleaded.
Oh god, here on the piano bench, or on top of the piano. God yes. I placed Bella on the keys to a clatter of discordant notes, so I that I could undo my plants. I pushed my body against hers, and she slid backwards, her lower back hitting the piano. She wrapped her arms around me desperately, pulling her body against mine. It would be now. Finally.
But as I looked down at Bella I knew that as tantalizing as it would be to take her on my piano, it wasn't right. She deserved better than this for her first time. And we were doing this for the wrong reasons. I stepped back slightly so that our bodies were no longer touching, but continued to hold her in my rms.
"Bella. No, this is wrong."
"I don't want to let you go this morning. It's never been harder. But that's not a reason to make love to you. I promise you that we'll have our chance."
Bella looked toward the ground, breathing deeply, her hands falling to her sides.
"I know how this feels like the end, I do. But it's the beginning of our lives together. Let's not end with sex; let's begin with it. In just two days, in a bed, as my wife. I promise."
"But I don't want this to end," Bella said still looking at the floor.
I took her hands in mine. "After this it will only get better. We'll spend each night together. Can you imagine?"
Bella smiled up at me. "Hardly."
"Nor can I, really."
"Alright, we'll wait. But it won't make leaving here today any easier." Bella looked down at herself, naked except for my shirt, open down the front. Then she smiled up at me, a twinkle in her eye. "How am I leaving anyway? What did Alice do with my clothes?"
"I'm afraid your clothes are no longer for this world. But I heard Alice pull your car up last night. I have a feeling she brought you something to wear. I'll check." I was out to the car and back with more clothes and toiletries than Bella could go through in a month. There was a small note attached in Alice's curly script.
Pick out what you'd like for today, the rest is for Bella to keep at the house. Love you both. See you at 10:00, Bella. Edward, don't forget about the fitting for your tux. Your sister, Alice
"Come on, let's get dressed," I said. And with that I swept her in my arms, and took her upstairs. We made room in the closet for Bella's clothes, and there was plenty of room in the bathroom for her toiletries. Both of us were quiet and giddy. Bella was really going to be mine. There was now actual evidence in my room, in my bath.
We picked out each other's clothes for the day. Dressing together was perhaps as intimate as anything we had done the previous night. We both watched each other intently, wordlessly. And then it was time for Bella to leave.
I held on to her all the way to her car door. "I'll see you tonight."
"Yes. Call me before then."
"Or text, if you want."
"I love you, Bella."
"I love you." We kissed. She shut the door, started the car, and drove very, very cautiously down the drive.
Well, that's it!! To continue with this story, please check out Prelude. http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5153962/1/ (just fill in the dots with dots!)
And please review! I love hearing from you. Thanks for all of your wonderful words so far. Marie