Meeting the Dads: House & Wilson
Summary: Maggie must have been drunk and thinking with a different part of her anatomy the day that these two made the list. Part of 'Who's Your Baby's Daddy?' series.
A/N: In response to Challenge 3064: conception by conspiracy *non-stargate* by shelli.
A/N2: Thanks to my betas: zigpal and JediKnight.
Warning: Non-fuzzy type feelings for Maggie, Riley and the Initiative…duh!!
Rating: FR15 for language and talk of sex, of course, she's pregnant after all.
Pairing: Basically a Buffy/Giles friendship. Anything else is up to you, the reviewers – within reason of course.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. House, MD characters belong to David Shore and Fox. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, New Jersey
Buffy rolled her eyes in annoyance of the doctor's self-important tone. If it weren't for the Cordelia-esque insults he easily threw around, she might have pegged him for a clone of Travers. A quick peek at Giles assured her she wasn't alone in her assessment. Buffy shuddered as another thought crossed her mind. Giles noticed her distress and inquired what the problem was.
She leaned over and whispered, "I was just thinking how much he reminded me of a cross between Cordy and Travers. It made me wonder if maybe somebody did the breeding experiment using them, and he was the result."
Giles felt his own wave of revulsion at that thought and complained, "Thank you for those nightmare-inducing visuals."
Smirking, Buffy answered unapologetically, "Sorry, but you asked."
"And you couldn't have just lied to me?" he shot back with a plaintive tone.
Her answer was interrupted by yet another snarky, insulting comment by the doctor. People really wanted him to save their lives? She'd rather just die instead of having to listen to him spout how brilliant he was.
'Mustn't hit the possible daddy of my baby,' she repeated over and over in her head. The fact that she had become possessive towards the small being growing inside her didn't faze her in the slightest. Once she acknowledged out loud that she couldn't have an abortion, it was like a switch had been thrown. She even had started thinking of baby names.
Before she could go any further in her thoughts, the door to the auditorium opened and in walked a good looking guy and an equally attractive woman – who she knew from an earlier introduction was Dr. Lisa Cuddy, leader of this madhouse. That would probably make him Dr. James Wilson, possible daddy #2.
'Thank goodness!' she thought. 'Maybe now we can get this over with and get away from Mr. God's Gift on stage.' She waved to the pair to get their attention and Dr. McDreamy came over while Boss Lady walked down to the front to get Dr. Ego.
After Cuddy made the introductions and made her goodbyes, wondering what this was all about, Wilson looked at the visitors and suggested, "Why don't we take this to my office so we can have some privacy?"
Buffy smiled at his polite behavior. "Lead the way, Doc."
Once they were settled, House started up with his usual snarky manner, "So my guess is that you and your dad there are here because Wilson slept with you, promised a forever and/or knocked you up. What I don't get, is why I'm here for this delightful confrontation."
"It's like this, my professor, Maggie Walsh--" Buffy started, choosing to ignore the crude remarks, while holding tightly to Giles to keep Ripper in check.
Wilson's ears perked up at the name. "Sorry for interrupting, but didn't we know a Maggie Walsh in med school?" he asked House.
"That chick in pysch who was all 'Fatal Attraction' on you?" House suggested, thinking back.
"She wasn't that bad." House raised an eyebrow. "Okay, she was almost, but it wasn't as if I ever found a boiled bunny."
House snorted, "That's only because you didn't have a pet for her to kill."
Buffy noticed Giles' blank expression and whispered that it was a pop culture reference to an obsessed woman and the man she wanted.
Nodding, Giles remarked quietly, "Ah, so that could explain why she chose him for her experiment."
But Wilson heard anyway and was worried. "What experiment?"
"Mr. Snark over there was right about one thing. She decided that I looked like a good baby factory and took it upon herself to inseminate me without my permission or knowledge," Buffy began to explain.
House laughed when he heard this. "Oh, this is too funny! You turned her down years ago, and she decided to have your kid anyway!"
Wilson glared at his friend who was still fighting his amusement. "I apologize for House. Apparently he missed how this was done against your will. Have you been able to bring her up on charges?" he asked kindly.
Buffy shook her head. "She died a couple days after when we think she did this." She looked at the smirking House and decided to have her own fun. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to say that both of your names were on the list of potential donors. Since she didn't indicate which of the samples she used, it's possible that either of you is the dad." She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at the shocked look on House's face.
Wilson, on the other hand, had no trouble expressing his glee at the news. "I guess she must have been in love with you as well, House! Wait 'til Lisa finds out! 'Daddy House'," he snickered before becoming immediately contrite and turning back to Buffy. "I'm sorry. I just got angry at House for doing the same thing. Is there anything that you need?"
She just smiled back and waved off his concern. "Nah, I'm good. I just wanted to meet the guys on the list; get a feel for what kind of men she picked out for this twisted experiment before deciding anything."
"But it's going well? The pregnancy, I mean," he clarified.
Buffy answered noncommittally, "Aside from the morning sickness, sure."
Giles couldn't help muttering, "And the hormones."
Buffy turned to glare at him, then stuck out a quivering lower lip as her eyes grew moist.
As expected, Giles instantly felt like a heel. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear girl. I didn't really mean it. Please forgive me for being such a thoughtless git!"
Still pouting, she asked with a small voice, "Will you get me ice cream when we leave?"
"Of course. Anything!" he vowed, hoping to get his Slayer to smile again. He knew he was being played, but he honestly felt that she didn't really have great control over her emotions. It wasn't as if she did this often.
Buffy instantly perked up. "Okie-dokie. So, are we done here? Oh, that's right. Can we get your business cards in case we need to contact you later?" she asked, turning back to the stunned doctors.
Personally, House was impressed by her manipulations, but still wary of her motives and decided to warn her, "You know that either one of us would require a DNA test before we believed your little story. So you'd better think twice if this is some kind of scam."
Rolling her eyes, she threw back the lunacy of that statement. "Yeah, 'cause I'm stupid enough to try to scam medical doctors in a hospital with a claim of carrying their baby because of an experiment done by a woman I didn't know either of them knew. If it were really a scam, don't you think I would have used your original assumption?"
He just shrugged, "Maybe you were going to, but changed your mind when you met me."
Buffy snorted in derision, "Geez, ego much? Don't worry, whoever the daddy turns out to be, I will have the proper test done to confirm it. And depending on who it is, they'll be given the choice of being involved in the child's life or not. Some of the names were really scary guys, and I don't want my baby anywhere near them."
They spoke for a few minutes more about keeping in touch when it came time to find out the baby's paternity. Just as they were about to leave, House grabbed Buffy's arm and asked for a minute alone. The two of them went over to House's office to speak.
Looking uncharacteristically humble, House apologized, "I know Wilson already said it, but I thought you should hear it from me too. I'm sorry for not being more considerate about your feelings."
"Hard to get out, huh? I'm guessing you don't apologize often," Buffy guessed with a teasing smile.
"Basically never," he answered with a matching smirk.
"Don't worry about it. I've settled my rage about the situation and hopefully will be able to look at this as a blessing in disguise. As long as the daddy isn't one of the more nightmarish candidates," she said with a genuine shudder.
Still worried about his earlier actions, House hesitated to ask, "And where am I on that list?"
Flipping her hair back away from her face, Buffy put her feet up on House's desk, then put them back down when it proved uncomfortable in her present condition. Junior was beginning to make his/her presence known a little. "Honestly? You were towards the bottom, but you've managed to move up a couple spots. You've at least beaten out the mass murderer."
"Gee, thanks." Then he caught what she said. "Really? Walsh put a mass murderer on the list?"
Buffy just shrugged, "What can I say? I think she was a couple links short of a chain."
House's eyes flashed with amusement. "Chain? What kind of kink are you into?" he inquired with a waggle of the eyebrows.
That made Buffy laugh before she purred back, "You'll never know."
"Please!" he begged with a pout very similar to her prior one.
Recognizing it and ignoring it, Buffy replied mock coolly, "Sorry, I'm resistant to the pout of most people."
Not offended, House decided to praise her for her earlier efforts. "By the way, I have to congratulate you on your excellent handling of your friend."
"He wasn't wrong about the hormones though. They are a bitch sometimes!" she said vehemently. Sometimes they struck at the wrong times as well.
Sobering up, House was suddenly nervous again. "So, will you let me know if the kid is mine?"
Buffy studied him intently before responding carefully, "That depends…will you get off the drugs?"
"What drugs?" he hedged, wondering what she knew.
Raising an eyebrow, she pointed to his coat pocket where he kept them. "The pain pills you keep popping for your leg."
Shocked, House stammered, "How did you know?"
Buffy leaned back in her chair as she shared her observations, "Well, there was the watching you during your lecture. And there's also the way you use that cane. Unless it's been handed down, the handle is worn enough that it means you've been using it for a while. Which makes me wonder why you are still taking pain meds this long after the fact. Hasn't the therapy helped at all?"
"I haven't really wanted to do the therapy," he told her bluntly.
"Let me guess, you don't like admitting weakness or failure to others?" she said compassionately.
House narrowed his eyes and growled, "Okay, you are getting to be way too insightful here, missy!"
Guessing that he wasn't really angry at her, Buffy went on matter-of-factly, "Nah, just recognizing what I've seen before. For what it's worth, asking for help to get better is less demeaning than being thought of as a druggie – in my opinion anyway. And if you can't do it for yourself, then know that I'd feel a lot more comfortable if my child's father didn't have medicine laying around that could kill him or her when they visit. May even let me be okay with not having to supervise all the visits personally," she said pointedly.
She left him sitting there, thinking about what she said. What nobody – not even Wilson – knew, was that House had wanted a child, and when things fell apart with Stacy, he thought that it was his last chance. But here was an unexpected chance staring him in the face; all he had to do was clean up his act. His hand seemed to move of its own accord to grasp the phone. "Hello. This is Doctor Gregory House. I'd like to set up a therapy appointment…for myself."
A/N: Call it majorly AU, but I hate that he's addicted and wanted to give him a reason to stop. And I know that the actors are 10 years apart in age, but deal with it. For my sake, they're the same age – or close to it.