Yeah, I know, I suck. Blame me and my laziness. Just so you know, this chapter takes place 2 years before Bella comes to Forks and I hope not to offend any emos. Hope you enjoy. :)


I was sitting in my and Rose's room, just staring into space. Me and Edward were the only ones in the house. Every one else was out - Carlisle at work, Esme, Rose, and Alice shopping and Jasper at the library.

I would've been fine if Jasper or Rose was home too, but instead, I was left with Edward who was as fun as an old bitter woman with a bad hip and a wart.

"I heard that Emmett," Edward said from downstairs.

I know I thought.

Suddenly, a thought popped into my mind. I could play that trick on Edward I saw on the internet the other day. Quickly, I thought of something else so that Edward wouldn't see.

"Really Emmett? Are you really singing Katy Perry in your head while thinking… things about Rosalie?" Edward's voice called up to me, annoyed.

"Yep. And I will continue to do it until you stop reading my mind." I say getting on the desktop computer in Carlisle's office.

"I can't stop. It's involuntary!"

"Oh. Right. Or maybe it's just because you love to see Rose in the buff." A thought suddenly struck me and my hands fell from the keyboard. "Or maybe it's me you like seeing…"

"What? No! No, Emmett! That's just ridiculous!" Edward shouted needlessly.

"It's okay, Edward. Lots of people want to see me naked. Of course, most of them are chicks, but it's not like I don't get a few stares from the male population, too. I had my suspicions about you Edward." I say resuming my typing on the computer.

"Emmett! I do not, nor have I ever enjoyed seeing you naked!"

"It's okay Edward. This is what they call denial. Everyone loves seeing me naked!"

Edward groaned and I could hear him fall back on the sofa.

Quickly, I printed out the questions I was looking for and hurried downstairs to Edward.

"So Eddie," I say sitting on the arm of the couch he was sitting on. "Out of your denial yet?"

Edward sat up and squeezed the bridge of his nose with two fingers like he did when he was annoyed.

"I am not in denial, Emmett," he growled. Oh, man. He was just so easy to rile up.

"So, Eddie-" I start.

"That's not my name," he said.

"Can you answer a few questions for me?" I asked.

"Can you stop being so annoying?" he replied.


Edward sighed. "What are the questions, Emmett?"

I held out the printed questions to him and he quickly looked at them.

"What now?"

"You remember the answers?"


"Okay. For each question I ask you, answer them with the answers you have for those," I say gesturing toward the paper in his hand.


Just as I opened my mouth, Esme, Rose and Alice walked in loaded down with bags.

"Hey guys," Alice said running the bags she had up to her room and sitting down on the sofa next to Edward.

"Hey," I say, wrapping my arm around Rose's waist as she sat on my lap. "We were just about to do something."

"Do what?" Esme asked from the kitchen.

"I'm gonna ask Eddie here some questions."

"The same questions you asked me last week?" Esme said.

I chuckled at the memory. "Yep. So first question Edward. Who were you with last night?"

"President Bush."

My eyebrows raised. "Okay. Did you kiss?"

"Yes." Edward frowned.

"What did it taste like?"

Edward stood up. "This is stupid, Emmett. I refuse to participate in this foolishness any longer."

"Oh, sit down, Edward. He did the same thing to Esme last week and she went through with it."

"Well maybe Esme puts up with Emmett's-"

"Oh shut up and answer the question already, Edward." Rose said.

Edward sighed heavily said, "Pears."

"Who did you tell?"

"Harry Potter."

I snorted and Edward narrowed his eyes at me.

"Shut up Emmett." he said.

"Okay. Okay. What did Harry say?"

"Mind your up's and q's."

"Did you do 'it'?"

"What?" Edward's eyes widened.

"Did you and President Bush do 'it'?"

"Just say yes, Edward. It'll be over soon," Alice said, giggling."

Edward nodded slowly.

"How many times did you and the President do it?"


Wow. I didn't think that the old man had the stamina.

"How old was he?"

"13." That explains it.

"Pretty sure that's illegal, Edward." I said shaking my finger at him.

"Just continue with the questions, Emmett."

"Who else did you tell?"

Edward hesitated. "I don't have to do this."

"Yes you do," Rosalie said inspecting her nails.

Once again, Edward sighed and mumbled his answer.

"Sorry?" I said, leaning a bit closer. Of course we all heard him, but it was just for kicks.

"Paula Deen."

"And what did Paula say?"

"Give up your loins." Ya'll.

"And what was the result of your and President Bush's activities?"

"I'm not answering that." Edward said clomping up the stairs like the emo teenager that he was.

"Let's just say twins and call it a day." I said leaning back on the couch.

Alice applauded and skipped up to her and Jasper's room. Esme went out to her garden.

"So, you enjoy that, Rose?" I asked.

"I think I'd enjoy something much better…" she said trailing her index finger down my chest to the waistband of my pants.

It was exactly 2 seconds later that we were in our room with her clothes off and her legs open.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!" Edward yelled from his room, but he was ignored.

* 4 hours later *

"Hey, guys," Jasper said poking his head into our room where we lay sated underneath the covers. "Why is Edward in his room writing depressing poetry and trying to cut himself with a broken pencil?"

I shrugged and started stroking Rosalie's hair. "Who knows how an emo's mind works? Turn off that light for us, Jazz? We're gonna go for another round."

Jasper made a face and turned out the light in our room as Rosalie started touching something of mine underneath the covers.

We could hear everyone race out of the house and Edward break another pencil.