A/N: This is the second installment of Harassment. This one was updated first because it doesn't take long to write since it's mainly randomness. Marmee Noir helped me out in this chapter too, so she's my official partner for this fic and gets credit as well. Hope y'all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Transformers does not belong to us.


BBM: 'I should rip out your intestines, fleshbag. I have stalkers because of you.'

Ladiesman217: 'Me?'

Ladiesman217: 'You have a strange fascination with my body'

BBM: 'I am merely fascinated with all of the ways to destroy it'

Ladiesman217: 'And why do you complain about stalkers? Someone is finally interested in you!'

Ladiesman217: 'Or is it that none of them is Optimus?'

BBM: 'It's that weapon-bearing tincan that follows Prime. He says he's making sure I'm good enough for his leader'

BBM: 'I do not want Optimus!'

Ladiesman217: 'Still in Egypt I see'

BBM: 'Yes'

Ladiesman217: 'You must really like that river'

BBM: 'Do NOT make me mad boy, I have already had to break up a betting pool on who would spark me...'

Ladiesman217: 'Must be lousy stakes'

Ladiesman217: 'Everyone knows it's going to be Optimus.'

Ladiesman217: 'What's there to bet on?'

BBM: 'They were betting on how it would happen'

Ladiesman217: 'How it /will/ happen, you mean. Why did you say they were betting on who it would be?'

BBM: 'I am not going to acknowledge that my own subordinates are against me.'

Ladiesman217: 'Now that's a different matter. Can I still join in the bets?'

Ladiesman217: 'I could use the money for college'

BBM: 'Why do you insist on going to that education facility when I can easily get you there?'

Ladiesman217: 'You can easily get me here, but I'm just bait.'

BBM: 'Bait?'

Ladiesman217: 'For you and Optimus to meet again and start sparking.'

BBM: 'I will NOT spark with that glitchhead of a Prime'

Ladiesman217: 'You're just enjoying that river. So, can I join in on the bets?'

AntennaBot: 'There was another pool established. How much would you like to bet?'

Ladiesman217: 'This exclusive sex guide and Wheelie's twin'

AntennaBot: 'Currency is required'

Ladiesman217: 'Where did you guys get money from?'

AntennaBot: 'The car magazines and calendars sell very well'

BBM: 'Sold a few rogue decepticons as well. They wanted to get paid. Soundwave, stop talking with him!'

Ladiesman217: 'Car magazines? Like Playboy for Cybertonians?'

AntennaBot: 'Yes, the rogue Decepticons were the playtoys.'

Ladiesman217: 'Can I have one?'

OnlyBee4U: 'Why do you want a Decepticon, Sam?'

Ladiesman217: 'No Bee. I meant the ma... ga... zine...'

Ladiesman217: *grins*

Ladiesman217: 'On the other hand. Please do send us on of these Decepticons.'

OnlyBee4U: 'Sam?'

Ladiesman217: 'Remember that role play we were talking about?'

Ladiesman217: 'Plus, don't forget the magazine. I want one so I can show Optimus pics of Megatron. Your poses better be sexy, Megs.'

BBM: 'Did you just call me "Megs"?'

BBM: 'Do not give me any of those abominable nicknames'

Ladiesman217: 'Well, you were the one insisting that Optimus wouldn't be submissive, so I made you the sub instead'

BBM: 'I will NOT submit to Optimus. If anything were to happen, he would be the one on the bottom.'

Ladiesman217: 'You have thought this out! Now, do you have explanatory diagrams or shall I draw some for you?'

BBM: 'I do not need a /human/ to tell me how to spark.'

Ladiesman217 : 'Then why haven't you gotten your freak on with Optimus yet?'

Ladiesman217: 'Maybe you're just shy.'

Ladiesman217: 'Does the big bad Autobot intimidate you?'

AntennaBot: 'I already provided him with appropriate diagrams.'

AntennaBot: 'His processor is doing overtime lately constructing possible scenarios'

Ladiesman217: 'I think that this is the beginning of a beautiful conspiracy, Soundwave'

BBM: 'Why are you still participating in this conversation, Soundwave? I told you to leave'

AntennaBot: 'You are transmitting through me. I cannot go anywhere.'

AntennaBot: 'Plus, if I learn the outcome first I can change my bet in time'

OnlyBee4U: 'I have obtained sufficient cash for you, Sam.'

SexyCar1: 'Someone talkin' bout bets?'

SexyCar2: 'What you talking about? Shut it Mudflap, you're too ugly to be here'

Ladiesman217: 'You are the best Bee. I'm gonna use that new wax on you later.'

SexyCar1: 'I'm yer twin, dumbass'

OnlyBee4U: '= )'

SexyCar2: 'But I got all the beautiful parts'

BBM: 'They are insisting on betting on how I will spark Optimus.'

SexyCar1: ' Yous must be looking at a picture of me instead of a mirror, bro. Oooh, I heard of that. Talking about getting your spark on with Optimus!'

SexyCar1: 'Don't we have a betting pool of our own, Skids?'

SexyCar2: 'I do believe we do'

SexyCar1: 'Need some pointers, Big Bad Megatron? You put the dick in the pu--'

Sexycar2: 'Not those parts, Cybertronian parts, stupid.'

Ladiesman217: 'And Megatron and Optimus are both male. Wrong manual.'

SexyCar1: 'I knew that, I was just testing ya'

SexyCar2: 'All you need to do is open yer spark chamber and bow chica wow wow'

SexyCar1: 'Get your freak on~'

Ladiesman217: 'There are also these very interesting wires...'

OnlyBee4U: *purrs*

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'Mudflap, Skids, you are to report to the hangar now.'

SexyCar1: 'Yous just want to ruin our fun...'

AntennaBot: 'Maybe he wants to give you a spanking'

Ladiesman217: 'Megs or the Twins? Maybe he just doesn't want witnesses for Megs' spanking...'

BBM: 'If anyone gets spanked it will be Prime'

Ladiesman217: 'Oh yeah, forgot you were into the dominatrix/bondage stuff. I have those cords, you know'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'You would not be able to hold me down long enough, Brother.'

Ladiesman217: 'Sure he can, these cords are strong.'

Ladiesman217: 'And resisting will probably only turn him on further'

AntennaBot: 'Neither are denying the urge to spank each other.'

BBM: 'I am not turned on by Prime!'

Ladiesman217: 'I get it. This is all verbal foreplay for you two.'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'No, it is not.'

Ladiesman217: 'I see you joined Megs in that river'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'River?'

Ladiesman217: 'de-Nile'

ThePrimeSpecimen: '...'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'I have not been in Egypt lately, Sam'

BBM: 'Prime, tell me the meaning behind your username or I will sick Stars Cream on Sam!'

Ladiesman217: 'No, not Stars Cream! Send Soundwave, we can plan.'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'Sam, I do not think it wise to invite Decepticons to your house. Brother, my username is unimportant, just like the meaning behind yours is.'

Ladiesman217: 'Soundwave would be fine as long as I hid my mom's baseball bats. Plus, have you seen our data on him? The way he moves his cords would be /perfect/ for my roleplay with Bee…'

BBM: 'Soundwave is not going anywhere, fleshy, I need him here.'

Ladiesman217: 'Need to keep those spark diagrams close, don't you?'

BBM: 'No I don't!'

Ladiesman217: 'Suuuure, whatever you say.'

Ladiesman217: 'So Optimus, where /did/ you get your username?'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'Jolt provided me with an appropriate name.'

Ladiesman217: 'Ah, that explains it.'

BBM: 'No it doesn't!'

OnlyBee4U: 'Starscream suggested your username, correct? Why did he choose that?'

BBM: 'He has an obsession with me and wanted to kiss aft.'

AntennaBot: 'He has sparkdreams of you dominating him. I will never hack his processors again.'

BBM: 'Don't remind me.'

OnlyBee4U: 'Jolt has a crush on Optimus and stalks him.'

BBM: 'Doesn't that overcharged bot have a spark-mate?'

Ladiesman217: 'Are you jealous? But yes, he has Sideswipe, who is actually terribly amused at Jolt's actions. He finds it adorable.'

BBM: 'Autobots are very strange.'

Ladiesman217: 'I know you can't resist the allure of Optimus Prime either.'

BBM: 'Of course I can!'

Ladiesman217: 'So you admit that he has an allure?'

BBM: 'No!'

Ladiesman217: 'You should not stay in that river too long, you'll rust.'

BBM: 'I need some energon…'

ThePrimeSpecimen: 'I do too, Brother, I do too…'


Ladiesman217: 'Too bad they aren't close enough to spark when drunk.'

Ladiesman217: 'Hey, Soundwave, what are the schemes we can bet on?'

AntennaBot: 'Schemes?'

Ladiesman217: 'You don't actually expect Decepticons to play fair, do you?'

AntennaBot: 'No, I don't. You can bet on an already existing scheme or you can create your own.'

AntennaBot: 'There is this one: They will be fighting and all of a sudden gaze into each other's optics. It will be true love revealed and they'll start sparking on the battlefield.'

Ladiesman217: 'Wow, who came up with that?'

AntennaBot: 'Starscream, he's a closet romantic.'

Ladiesman217: 'That doesn't really surprise me.'

AntennaBot: 'Another is from Barricade: They will be fighting and their spark chamber openings will malfunction and result in an accidental sparking. Autobot help requested.'

Ladiesman217: 'I'll make sure to let the Twins know about that one.'

AntennaBot: 'Wheelie bets that they are so desperate they will jump each other at the next opportunity.'

Ladiesman217: 'Desperate to spark or desperate to end my insisting?'

AntennaBot: 'Both.'

AntennaBot: 'Barricade has entered another bet: The squishy designated Sam will tie down Optimus with the help of Autobot Bumblebee on the orders of Ratchet, who will insist that not sparking for so long is unhealthy. Megatron will jump at the chance and a sparking will be initiated.'

Ladiesman217: 'He called me a squishy?! Not a bad plan though… I'll have to convince Ratchet of the repercussions of waiting too long to spark…'

AntennaBot: 'A Decepticon with the designation Nortagem placed a bet that Megatron will defeat Optimus Prime and make him his sex slave.'

Ladiesman217: 'Nortagem?'

AntennaBot: 'That is strange. I cannot find any Decepticon with that designation in my database.'

Ladiesman217: 'Heh, so what did you bet?'

AntennaBot: '…'

Ladiesman217: 'Soundwave?'

AntennaBot: 'Megatron has entered recharge.'

Ladiesman217: 'Wow, someone must have spiked his energon.'

AntennaBot: '…Yes…'

OnlyBee4u: 'Why would you do that?'

AntennaBot: 'My bet.'

OnlyBee4U: '?'

Ladiesman217: '?'

AntennaBot: 'Lord Megatron will be so overwhelmed with spark dreams of Prime that he will jump at the next chance to spark his Brother.'

AntennaBot: 'I am hacking his processor now, I must go.'

Ladiesman217: 'You are awesome, Soundwave.'


Ladiesman217: 'He forgot to accept my bet.'

Ladiesman217: 'That reminds me. Didn't I mention that new wax before?'

OnlyBee4U: '=) I'll have it ready when you get down here.'

Ladiesman217: 'Maybe I should send some of the wax to Megatron so that he can use it on Optimus.'

OnlyBee4U: 'Hurry up Sam! Log off and get down here already!'