Matter of Swine

Prologue

Hooves crunched through sand. The methodical grinding and occasional grunt and whine from the boar she road was almost soothing. Clucking, a sound her kind used to sooth weary horses or children, she reached down and scratched the red, course, hairs that grew between the creature's ears. In response to her touch one of those spear shaped organs swerved in her direction and she chuckled. Rather flattered to be in the attentions of her aloof brother.

"I don't see why you want to change back. You're almost cute as a piggy."

Following the path of the preceding ear, one orange eye rolled in her direction. Then, seeing the mirth so obvious in tone and smile –and at his expense besides- both ears slicked back all but screaming an intent as dark as his midnight hued hide. Oblivious to her peril the rider continued, musing more to herself than her ride.

"You could be useful around camp I suppose, instead of hiding all the time… We could use your tail… its course enough to scrape bowls clean, no water needed! The warriors could ride you out to battle, so the most tired horses could rest… and you'd be a wonderful little's watcher! The littlest girls could swing from your tusk-"

Squealing in indignation the horse sized boar tried to buck off its rider. Boars, however, weren't built for bucking. To low to the ground and not enough lift and kick to the knees and spine, all the logistics pointed to a weakness and lack of "bucking" skills. Still, spite was a great motivation to step outside the realms of the norm, and like all exercises in stupidity he was rewarded promptly. The vindictive beast got a face full of sand for his efforts.

That and an evil laugh from his rider.

Laugh turned into gasp of shock as she spotted the danger fast approaching. Gripping a fist full of red mane the desert tanned youth pulled back hard and fast. Still the warning came to slow and impact came malicious quick. With a dry crunch the beast plowed snout first into a sand dune, his ride's nose a mere feather's breadth from the dune… Hooves scraped on sand and stone, pulling back, and a few minutes later the sand bulged as the submerged head withdrew. A gasp and grunt sounded as the boar's head popped out, hacking up sand and one errant lizard tail as the beast pulled back.

The bloated lump that marked the swine's point of impact collapsed with a dusty hiss, the quiet sound actually heard as both rider and ridden were too focused on fighting for breath rather than exchanging another round of repartee and rough and tumble counters that was the backbone of their relationship.

Drawing a breath of slightly less dusty air the young girl clad in an Amazon princess' vibrant orange and reds patted the wheezing boars head, beating off clumps of sand. Finding the thickest clumps of red and dust she set her dark hand atop and gave a hearty shake. A snort met her ministrations, that and the roll of an orange eye so that he could better watch what he could only vaguely feel.

"See Dragos, you're such a bad pig you'd be caught and eaten if I wasn't here to save you."

Her altered brother's "squee" made the girl laugh; it was a loud braying laugh unlike say… a more civilized Hylain's twittering giggle.

Turning her mental track a full half circle without the smallest lag, Marrith, Princess the Gerudo patted her brother's head. Striking a heroic pose, the image ruined by the fact she'd never seen a real heroic pose before and was absently drumming he feet Marrith grinned at the sullen boar's orange eye.

"Don't worry, I'll keep them away from you, I won't let them turn you into a big ham sandwich!"

The grunt from the beast under her was hardly relieved.