Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I make this statement of my own free will and definitely not because I'm being stared at by lawyer-elves who will shoot me with their lawsuit-gun if I say I own Twilight. Whew, long sentence!

Scene something: a square in Volterra

Alice: Bella, you will have to go. I can't go out in the sun.

Bella: But no one has told me what he's going to do, or where he is, or what will ha…

(Alice shoves Bella out the car and into the crowded square.)

Bella: …ppen. Bugger. Ooh, look. There he is. Hey Eddie-kins, over here! Yoo-hoo! Mr. Sparkly Vampire Guy!

(Crowd turns and stares at Bella, then at Edward)

Bella: … Ooops. That was not supposed to happen, was it?

Alice and Edward: *Facepalm*

(Bella runs over to Edward. Two Volturi guards and Jane step out of the shadows. The guards speak like gangsters for some strange reason. Maybe it's because the authoress has just consumed a whole bag of chocolate chips. Or maybe not.)

Guard 1: You two have been causin' the boss a lot of problems.

Guard 2: Yeah. And the boss don't like no problems, ain't that right?

Guard 1: That's right. So you're gonna come with us nice and quiet, like. Then we don't have to rip off no heads.

Guard 2: Well, if we're gonna be head-rippin', I call the human.

Guard 1: No, I get the human 'cos I'm older.

Guard 2: No, I do.

Guard 1: Me!

Guard 2: Me!

Guard 1: M- Aaargh!!!

(Guards both curl up on the ground screaming from Jane's attack. Never annoy a girl. Especially if she has the power to torture you to screaming. Most girls do.)

Jane: You should never send two incompetent fools to do a woman's job. Come with me or I will kill you. Painfully.

Edward: You know, I think we should do what she says. I just have this feeling…

(Long silence)

Jane: Was there more to that sentence?

Edward: No, not really. I like hanging sentences…

(Long silence Jr.)

Bella: Umm, ok. Can we go now? This scene is getting very long.

Jane: Fiiine. Eh-hem… Come, mortals!

Edward: Er, actually, I'm immortal.

Bella: Shut up and follow the sadistic, torturing vampire girl, Eddie-kins.

Edward: (Squeaks) Following!

A/N: Yes, I know my chapter's are getting shorter but I honestly don't have the time to make them longer. I'm making this story up as I go along, whereas the other one was already written out since June on paper so all I was doing was typing it up. I couldn't remember what scene number it was because I'm writing this on both the laptop and our upstairs computer. The last chapter was on the laptop and I'm writing this on the computer without the internet, so I've no idea what scene I'm on. Darn. I love Jane, she's so much fun to write! I haven't read New Moon in months so if I've missed out on anything vitally important let me know in a REVIEW! =)