Hey Guys! I thought I'd give you this one-shot to keep you all interested while I get my other stories sorted out.
This is a one-shot filled with sour-sweet tear-drops. It might make you cry, I don't know.
I don't own anything...
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my black hoodie, trying to get somewhat warm. The wind battered my body, the rain fell relentlessly onto me and soaked me through. I loved it.
I wasn't cold because of the weather. It has been like this since...it happened. I choked back tears – I didn't want to break down on the pavement, in front of possible bystanders. No, I only let myself cry in one place, and I was heading there today.
Since it happened, I've felt dead. Sometimes, I swear I can't feel my heart beating. It's as cold as ice now, my heart, with a massive crack right through the middle. I lost my love, my one true love, on that fateful day two months ago. I've spoken to no one except for my family and the Cullen's.
I found it hard the first month to actually speak to anybody. I locked myself in my room, sobbing and retching, cursing the heavens. I refused to eat, to drink. When my Dad – Charlie – found me in my bathroom, wrists slashed and bleeding, he took me to a shrink. Barbara is a nice lady, she's helping me. Well, she's only helping slightly. I still have nightmares of that day, the end of my life. I wish I could rewind the clock, and stop us from taking that short-cut.
I frowned, kicking a rock. I always kept my head down now, I couldn't bare to look into the faces of pity that surrounded me. I couldn't bare the "sorry"'s and "I'm so sorry for your loss" crap. No matter what people said, they couldn't change what happened, they couldn't fix it.
He had told me to live before he died, he told me he loved me, always on his last breath. But I wasn't sure if I could do any of this without him. I wasn't sure if I could face my life without him by my side. No, I was positive I couldn't.
I looked up briefly to check my surroundings. I just had to turn onto the dirt trail. I watched the road before I crossed it, not that it mattered if anything hit me. In front of the entrance to the path, I took a deep breath and released it slowly through my nose.
I took forceful, powerful steps towards him. Towards his resting place.
I had to choke back another sob.
It was twenty minutes until I finally got there – I had fallen at least four times on the way. I looked down at my hands. They were bloody and covered with mud. I didn't care. Nothing that happened to me mattered any more.
I raised my head and saw it. The beautiful, emerald green marble tomb stone was planted into the soil of the small meadow. The grass was a life filled green and the wild flowers spotted colourful marks everywhere. The patch of rectangular soil in front of the tomb stone looked incredibly brown and plain. Like my eyes I thought wryly. I knew they were lifeless, they weren't the chocolate orbs he had described them as any more.
I didn't choke back the sob this time.
It was almost unbearable to come here. To see that he was really gone. But I had to come here, I had to talk to him, to visit him in some way.
I fell to my knees in front of the emerald tombstone, shaking and sobbing. I clutched the tombstone and hugged it for dear life.
"Edward" I began and had to control my sobs to continue,"I miss you sweetie, I miss you so much. Do you know what it's like here? Everyone just looks at me with pity all over their faces, they always say sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's horrible Edward, I can't live. Why couldn't you see that? Why did you tell me to live? I told you so – so many times that I could – could never live without you." I sobbed, holding onto the tomb stone desperately. I had already said all of these questions on my previous visits, but I always felt the urge to ask, hoping in vein for an answer.
"I know, it wasn't your fault. It was that crazy lunatic...I still can't believe he shot you. I didn't know – didn't know – he was capable of doing that. He was sentenced yesterday you know. He got a life sentence. I didn't think it was fair. He should die, he should die for taking you away from me." I sighed then hiccuped as tears flowed freely down my face.
I remembered that night so well.
Edward and I were walking back to his house after a party. It was 2am and I was still buzzing from the adrenaline rush I had. I was not drunk, and neither was Edward. He grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers. His thumb began to rub circles on the back of my hand.
I looked sideways at him and found that he was smiling crookedly at me, his gaze smouldering. I blushed but didn't look away.
"Did you have fun tonight?" Edward asked, his voice as velvety as ever. I took a minute to drink him in before I answered. He was wearing a light blue button down long sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his perfectly muscled arms. He was in some dark jeans that hung low on his hips. His converse were black with white laces. His hair was the delicious bronze colour – it reminded me of a molten toffee – and it was in the perfect messy disarray that he could never tame. His lips were just slightly pink and looked absolutely kissable. His pale skin glowed in the moon light. I saved his eyes for last. They were emerald green, the colour moving and flowing. I was lost.
"Definitely," I replied, grinning. He had never left my side and made a show of kissing me in front of everyone. I used to get slightly embarrassed but now I don't, because kissing Edward was as natural as breathing.
"Good, I'm glad." He stopped walking and looked to his right. I followed his gaze. We were in front of the short cut that we always took with his family after school. It led to the Cullen house and shortened the time to ten minutes, instead of twenty.
"Are we taking the short cut?" I asked, hesitant. It got pretty dark down that path when the sun started setting.
"We have to," Edward explained, "There was an accident on the road towards my house and everything's blocked off, even the pavement." He sighed.
"Isn't there any other way besides this?" I asked, pouting, trying to hide my fear.
"I don't think so, but don't worry," He smiled softly, "I came prepared." Edward reached into the bag he had over his shoulder and pulled out a flash light.
I grinned. He always came prepared. We set off down the path towards his house, still hand in hand.
It had been almost ten minutes and I could see the exit that lead to the Cullen's front yard.
That's when I heard it.
Edward heard it too and placed himself in front of me. It had been the sound of a twig snapping. I thought we were both just jumpy because it was dark.
I was about to voice my opinion when a shape appeared a few feet away from us. My breath hitched when I saw who it was.
His skin was dark, his hair messily cut short. He was tall, and he was wearing cut-off jeans and a white t-shirt. His eyes were the same black, but they held fury and hatred.
These were the things that did not make me gasp.
He was holding a gun. A small, shiny black gun and it was pointing straight at Edward.
"Jacob! What are you doing?!" I screeched. Jacob had been my best friend before I had started dating Edward. The day I told Jacob that I was in a relationship, he exploded. He told me that he loved me and that I was meant to be with him. I told him that he was my best friend and that that was all he was ever going to be. He didn't talk to me after that, and I was glad.
I wasn't now.
"I love you Bella, can't you see? This lowlife doesn't deserve to be with you, you belong with me. He can't have you, and I'm going to make sure of that." Jacob put his finger on the trigger. I knew that this was the last chance I was going to get to try and stop him. But Edward spoke instead.
"Jacob, I know you're upset, but please don't do this. You'll end up in jail if you kill me or Bella or both of us. You'll hurt Bella. Do you want to do that? To hurt her?" Edward took a protective stance in front of me.
"Jacob, Jacob please. Don't." I said softly.
Something changed in his expression.
We had lost.
"The only one hurting her is you," Jacob snarled and he pulled the trigger. I yelled and tried to push Edward and I out of the way, but it was too late. The bullet grazed my neck, then entered Edward's body just below his collarbone. We gasped, then fell into the dirt side by side. My neck hurt badly. I put my hand on my neck then raised it for inspection. There was a lot of blood.
But that didn't matter. I scrambled towards Edward, where he lay, choking and gasping. Blood was oozing out of the corner of his mouth and he was trying to speak to me. He spit some of the blood out of his mouth, then grasped my hand in both of his.
"Bella...you are my life. My... one and only...love," He gasped then spat out more blood, "Please remember...that, I will love you...always and...forever," He choked, spat then gasped.
"Edward? Edward! No, you are not going to die! You're saying goodbye, don't, you're going to live! Edward, I love you so much, please don't leave me...please." I sobbed and brought my other hand up to grasp both of his. I squeezed his hand and sobbed. Edward gave me a weak smile.
"Live please. For me." He spoke slowly. I screamed.
"EDWARD! You are NOT going to die! Do you hear me? You. Are. Not. Going. To. Die." I growled, mad that he was giving up.
"I love you, my Bella." It sounded too much like a goodbye.
"Oh, I love you so much Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. But you are not going to die...please...stop saying goodbye." I gasped as a sharp pain went through my neck.
"Bella? You okay?" Edward asked, his voice slurring. I yelled for help before looking at him again. His eyes were drooping.
"Bella...I'm so tired..." He choked. I saw tears streaming down his face and it made me cry harder.
"Stay with me Edward, please stay. You promised we had...forever together...the whole world in front of us...stay please...stay..." I choked on something in my mouth. I spat. Blood came out of my mouth – the bullet must have gone deeper than I thought.
"My beautiful Bella...you look like an angel..." Edward whispered. I sobbed and choked again. I heard a round of gasps and screams near us and I turned my head to see who it was. The Cullen's stood, wide-eyed at the scene in front of them. Alice had both hands over her mouth, Rosalie's bottom lip was trembling. Emmett's hands were balled into fists, his eyes brimming with tears. Jasper looked terrified and shocked. Esme gave a soft cry and ran over to Edward and I. Carlisle blinked, gasped again then came running over as well.
"Edward, oh my baby. Edward it's Esme, can you hear me? I love you honey, hang on." Esme spluttered. Edward smiled.
"I love you too Mom," Edward replied, his voice faint.
"Son? Edward I love you too, please hang on until we can get an Ambulance," Carlisle croaked. He was crying. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.
"Love you Dad..." Edward's eyes were half closed. He was giving up.
"Edward! Don't go! Stay with me, please! Remember, our forever, remember your promise! Please Edward, I love you so much... please..." My voice grew quieter and I held my breath to see if he would answer. His droopy eyes opened wide and they locked with mine.
"Live life Bella. Do it for me. Isabella Marie Swan... I love you...Goodbye, my angel..." He gasped one last time, choked and then let out the breath. The light in his eyes faded and closed and his hands went limp in mine. Everything was silent.
"Edward?" I whispered. When he didn't respond I panicked. I tried doing CPR but Carlisle kept telling me that it was too late, that Edward had lost too much blood. I screeched at him. Esme sobbed, hugging Edward's body. The rest of the Cullen's gathered around Edward's body, crying. I cradled Edwards head and whispered for him to wake up, to breathe.
The paramedics came and so did the Police . It took them thirty minutes for them to pry me away from Edward's body.
When the Paramedics had checked me out and sorted out my neck in the back of the Ambulance, the Police asked me questions. I answered them in a dead voice.
They left and the Cullen's went back into their house, holding each other.
I stayed and stared at the pool of blood on the dirt. I was silent.
I heard the Ambulance in the distance.
When the Ambulance had taken Edward's body away, I felt a large part of myself drift away with him.
My heart shattered and I fell into the dirt.
Why did he give up?
I sniffed then let my hands glide along the smooth marble.
"We had forever, stretched out in front of us... remember the day you asked me to marry you? We were going to tell everyone the day after the party, weren't we?" My voice cracked.
Edward was sitting in the middle of the meadow, basking in the sunlight, while I was sprawled out next to him, studying his features.
How could someone so perfect want me?
"Bella," Edward stood up and held both of his hands out for me to grab. He hoisted me up onto my feet but didn't let go of my hands.
"Bella," He began again, looking deep into my eyes, "This is our three year anniversary, and I have enjoyed every single day with you. You make me excited to go to school, just so I can see you. You brighten up the whole room when you enter. And you make me want to sing from the rooftops that I'm in love with the most beautiful person on the planet.
Your hair is so soft that I love to run my fingers through it, I love the beautiful lively shade of brown it is. Your chocolate brown eyes are the most stunning things I've ever seen, they seem to sparkle when you smile, they hold the whole world. Your lips are the most delicious shape and colour." Edward kissed me chastely on the lips.
"You are my forever and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He got down on one knee and my breath hitched. He was proposing?
"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife, and making me the luckiest man alive?" He reached inside of his jeans pocket and brought out a small, square, blue velvet box.
"Really?" I breathed, stunned.
"Yes," He grinned crookedly at me.
"We're only eighteen."
"I can't wait any longer to marry you."
"Is that a yes?"
"Yes," I grinned. I squealed as Edward tackled me onto the ground and we laughed. He was hovering over me, leaning on his elbows. He opened the box, plucked a silver band from inside and slipped it onto my ring finger.
"It's beautiful," I sighed. It had a diamond surrounded by smaller, circular sapphires. It was simple but completely me.
"It was my real Mom's, Elizabeth's," He replied, an angelic smile adorning his face. I kissed him deeply.
I pulled back and whispered:
"Forever, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."
"Forever, Isabella Marie Swan," Edward replied before swooping in to kiss me again.
We had decided to wait one month before telling anybody. Edward had bought a chain to put the ring on, so I could still wear it.
I wore the same ring today, and I twirled it in my fingers. It was still on the chain, I didn't want to wear it on my finger. It seemed wrong that he couldn't see the ring there.
"Forever..." I breathed sniffling. The rain was still beating down and the wind whipped around me. I shivered and hugged myself, trying to keep myself from breaking into pieces.
"Everyone is still shocked about what happened. Your family...Our family is trying to keep strong, trying to keep everyone from falling. But Edward, everyone is so shaken. Esme keeps breaking down whenever she passes the music room and Carlisle has broken down a couple of times too. Alice... Alice won't stop crying, and Rosalie has almost turned to stone. Emmett stares at the family photo for hours sometimes, you know, the one with me in it. And Jasper... Jasper is with Alice all the time, and he cries with her Edward. My Dad cries too. My mom...she writes me e-mails,saying that she cries too and that she misses both of us." I sniffled. I checked my watch.
"I've got to go soon Edward. I don't want to leave you. I love you so much Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, don't forget it. You're still my forever, no matter what. I miss you." I whispered. I brought my arms around the tomb stone again. My cheek pressed against the cold, wet marble. I just hugged Edward's tomb stone for a while.
"I have to go," I stroked the marble, "Goodbye, my Edward."
I rose to my feet, not wiping the tears from my face. I hummed the song Edward had wrote me on my way back home and I couldn't help but feel peaceful as I did.
"You inspired this one," Edward whispered, as he played a few warm up notes. I cocked my head to the side and scrunched my eyebrows together.
"Me?" I asked.
"Yes, silly," He chuckled softly before composing himself. He began to play and I melted.
The music was unbearably sweet.
"Is it a lullaby?" I asked quietly. He nodded minutely and smiled crookedly. I felt tears fall down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away.
He finished and left the last note hanging in the air.
"It's beautiful," I spoke softly.
"Yes, you are." He smiled and kissed me chastely. He straightened up and held one of my small hands in both of his. He searched my face before whispering:
"I love you Isabella Marie Swan."
It was the first time he had said that he loved me.
"I love you too, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." I smiled angelically before bringing his lips down to mine.
That was where I wanted to stay. I wanted to kiss Edward forever.
"Forever, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I whispered as I raised my head towards the sky.