hey,this chapter is just basically to show the reasoning for what actions Cindy might do later, i didnt want it to seem she was acting out of character later in the story without reason. italics are her direct thoughts. Don't be discouraged by the first chapter please
Disclaimer: i dont own jimmy neutron/ characters and all that =)
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France
She watched the lights of the city and the nonstop flow of pedestrians as she rested her head on the window of the car. It had been about an hour after the long plane ride, and now she found herself stuck in the nightly traffic of New York City. The day had been a blur. She glanced down at her fingernails that she had been nervously chewing on since the day had started. She had started biting them since the day she found out. She didn't want this day to come; she had pleaded, begged, and nearly started groveling to her parents, but it was to no avail. They were moving, and that was final.
She didn't even tell him goodbye. What was she supposed to say? There would be no point in confessing her feelings; she would be gone only hours later and never see him again. She told herself that it would be easier this way, this way she wouldn't have to struggle over words that she never had been able to voice before, words that she only ever dreamed of telling him. She was never exactly sure of how he really felt about her, so it was better this way. At least that's what she kept on repeating in her mind.
She pulled a stray blond hair from her bangs behind her ear in attempt to cover up her wiping a tear she had felt slip from her eye. She couldn't cry over this again. The night before she cried herself completely dry, it was the only time she allowed herself to give in to that choked up feeling in her chest.
It felt like the end of an era. She wasn't sure who she was if she wasn't going to be competing with him every day, making sarcastic remarks, and calling him names. Who was she without her perfect attendance record, straight A's and academic awards? Because here, none of that would matter, no one here knew her or that she was as competitive as they come.
Her life back there was over. She said goodbye to Libby the night before, they hugged, and claimed they would always be best friends even if they were hundreds of miles apart. Right now she wasn't so sure if that would stay true. She barely waved to her other classmates on her last day at Lindberg Middle, she didn't want to make it seem like it was a big deal that she was leaving. Even though her world felt like it was falling apart. Then today, just like that, they had left that pink house that she had grown up in, probably never to return.
The blaring honking noise of the car horn brought her briefly out of her thoughts, and she looked to see her mom staring blankly ahead, that superior air that she always had still evident. Her dad was on the phone, a business call she presumed. That was why she was dragged here to begin with. Her father's law firm had asked him to transfer here because there was a higher demand of clients; or something like that. She didn't really hear much of her parents reasoning once they said the word "moving".
They were on their way to the penthouse that her parents insisted she would love living in. She didn't care that they would have a lot more money now that her Dad was working more; she just wanted her routine life in Retroville back.
"Cynthia, stop brooding and start embracing the way you were meant to live." noted her mother when she had let out a long sigh.
Embrace what? What was actually good about the fact that everyone she had ever known in her life was back home? Or at least what she considered her home. She started thinking back to her thoughts before that car horn interrupted her. Who am I now? She wasn't sure how exactly she was supposed to act anymore. Would she find a new guy to replace Jimmy? Big chance not since she would be attending an all girls private school. Are my parents trying to kill me… most likely. What would life without Jimmy be like now that she was completely without his influence? Wait. Stop. She didn't want to think of it that way. As much as she fawned over Jimmy, she didn't like to think that anyone had any influence over her. She was her own person right? Right? Suddenly a thought hit her, and it hit her hard.
Who am I without Jimmy? The past few years she had spent competing with him, arguing with him, and seriously crushing over him. Looking back, everything she did or got herself involved with was done in order to bring herself closer to him. Maybe I haven't been being myself at all…maybe I would be a completely different person if I had never met him. Suddenly she was very confused. She was always so completely sure and confident with whom she was. But maybe that voice in the back of her head was right. The whole persona that was Cindy Vortex revolved around Jimmy Neutron. And she wasn't so sure she liked that.
But I can be a whole new person here….
She glanced around the car again through her emerald eyes to see her parents still in their respective positions, neither one of them had moved. Turning so that she was looking out the window again, she took note of city outside. It was a polar opposite of Retroville. The bright lights didn't seem so blinding anymore, almost inviting, intoxicating. There were so many different people here that stalked the shimmering streets at night.
She looked up and noticed the sun roof in the ceiling of the car; she saw the button next to it that allowed it to retract the glass closing it off. Her parents were too distracted to really be paying attention. She pushed the button and waited until it was completely opened. Without warning, she stood on her seat with the pink converses she had been wearing since before she could remember, and poked half of her body outside the roof. Something was suddenly drawing her in, and she only wanted to become closer.
The wind rustled her hair and she squinted at the sudden exposure to light. This city was so alive, so vibrant with color; maybe she didn't need Neutron to have adventures. This place looked like it was just begging for her to explore, try new things, take risks, and be whoever she wanted to be.
She took her uniform pink hair tie out of her hair so she could feel the wind run through her long tresses. She giggled to herself thinking about how she swore she was creating some kind of cliché at the moment. Someone whistled, making her jump. She turned her head to see a boy winking and waving at her. That's odd. I must be making some sort of spectacle out of myself. Her initial reaction was to duck back in the car and blush from embarrassment, but then she did something she didn't think she would ever do. She winked, shot him a brilliant smile and waved back.
Where on earth did that come from? Cindy Vortex would never do that, or maybe she would, maybe this was something she would do often if she had never fallen for Jimmy.
I think it's time that I do what I want, there's nothing standing in my way…no Carl to say it's too dangerous, no Betty Quinlan to be in a shadow of, and no Jimmy Neutron to cause me to be someone I'm not…or judge me…
She found that smile forming on her lips again, and flung her head back to feel the wind brush over herself. So what if she knew no one, so what if she had been taken from the only place she had known her whole life. She was going to be the girl she never could be back in Retroville. She was going to have fun, wild, and crazy adventures that would rival with the ones of Jimmy Neutron. Nothing was going to stand in her way. She was going to make sure of it.
"It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves." ~André Gide