J.K.

"Vile, insidious, disgusting, incestuous doppelgangers! How could you partake in such scandalous acts, and more importantly, how can you rope my daughter into your unscrupulous displays!?! Daddy does NOT condone this!!' Tamaki had been ranting and screaming as such for the last thirty-seven minutes (they had clocked it) and by now, he was incredibly red in the face.

The Hitachiin twins (as always) were the victims of this insanely long and loud rant, and were bored. They'd tried to appeal ("We didn't do anything!"), fall asleep and just plain escape, but none of their tactics seemed to be effective, and by now they had just retired to the couch, Hikaru's head in Kaoru's lap in the otherwise deserted Third Music Room. At this point in time, they had generally tuned their upperclassman out.

"I don't believe you!! Oh, just you wait!! I'll have Kyouya devise a punishment so horrible that you will never be able to talk about it! It. Will. Be. HORRIBLE—and...Are you even listening to me?'

It took a moment for both twins to realize they had actually been integrated back into the conversation, and once they snapped out of dream land, Kaoru yawned and Hikaru gave the Suoh a look that clearly said 'Oh, you were talking?' and asked, "Say what?"

Tamaki looked livid, and opened his mouth to start yelling again when Kaoru cut across him smoothly. "It was only a kiss, Tono. We would have done it to anyone."

"Yeah," chortled the other twin. "It was just a fangirl service. A lip service. We only did it to Haruhi because we figured we'd get the biggest reaction out of it if it was with her."

"Didn't think we'd get our ears talked off, though."

"No, definitely not."

His violet orbs narrowed. "Have you no modesty?!?! That could have been Haruhi's first kiss!!"

Hikaru rolled his eyes and finally removed his head from his brother's lap. "Don't even start. There was that tea-cup girl—"

"—Beni-bara's attempts—"

"—Kyouya-senpai during that blackout—"

"—Hunny-senpai when she was about to eat that last bite of strawberry cake—"

"—Mori-senpai during Truth Or Dare—"

"—Renge, even, during the filming of her movie sequel—"

"—And Nekozawa when he put hormone curses on us all—"

"—So you really have no grounds to play off her supposed 'innocence'," Kaoru finished for his twin, crossing his arms defiantly as Hikaru mirrored his actions.

Tamaki opened his mouth again, but then stopped and seemingly wilted. "That doesn't condone your actions..." he pouted heavily.

"Psh," the red heads scoffed dismissively. "As we said before, Tono, we would have done it to anyone. The fact that it was Haruhi was just for Renge's Moe-aspect."

An idea seemed to strike the blond Suoh with the force of a steam engine. "If you were going to kiss just anyone, why not pick one of your clients, or someone else?" This seemed to stump the Hitachiins, for they were quiet for the time being, just gazing at Tamaki with a look he couldn't quite explain.

"Well," Hikaru spoke after a moment, standing so that Tamaki no longer towered above the two of them, "we weren't...always going to use Haruhi..."

"Yeah," Kaoru supported, also standing. "We just figured she'd be most open to it, and less likely to yell." And together, both boys took one step toward their upperclassman.

And then it was Tamaki who was stumped, and his expression clearly showed his perplexion. "I...wha...?"

"Well, the girls certainly screamed a lot," Kaoru started, suddenly on Tamaki's side and slinking behind his blond 'lord', arm around shoulder to brush lightly against his chest.

"But, Haruhi was just a last minute addition..." And Hikaru was directly in front of him, grinning ear to ear as he extended a hand to caress the pale cheek with slender fingers that sent shivers down Tamaki's back. The elder of the Hitachiin twin's voice got deeper, and his eyes smoldered. "We really wanted to..."

And behind his ear, hot breath tickled the baby hairs on the back of his neck, and Kaoru's voice took on the same bedroom quality of his brother's. "Kiss you."

Tamaki didn't believe what he was hearing, seeing, feeling, and it made him freeze up. What were the twins playing at?—nose to nose and cheek to cheek with him—could it be that they were harboring secret adorations for him and had been projecting those emotions onto a more suitable outpost...Like Haruhi? If they had (and not that he could blame them if they had—he was just loveable) and were just confessing this now...he had NO idea of what to say.

It was suddenly all too hot, and he couldn't help but shiver within their grasps as the twin's hands interlocked over his heart and Hikaru leaned in until their lips brushed ever-so-slightly, and Kaoru allowed his lower lip to touch Tamaki's cheek even lighter. They were frozen like that for a moment, and then something in the intimate atmosphere changed, and suddenly, the twins had withdrawn a bit and were staring at him.

"Hey, Tono..." Hikaru breathed against his mouth, and Kaoru suddenly licked his cheek—hard—and withdrew, smiling sweetly if not evilly. And then, in tandem, the red heads spoke...

"Just kidding!"