Dear Dark Lord or Letters to the Man Behind the Curtain

Disclaim'd

To the Dark Lord Voldemort

Voldemort,

I get that you needed to take my blood forcibly, and I don't horribly blame you, though was that tournament really necessary? Anyways, I get that, though why you wanted my blood is beyond me. What I don't get is Cedric, or, as you so eloquently named him 'the spare'. Was his death truly useful? I mean, you killed the Hufflepuff Hunk. Also, I'm pretty torn up about it. I mean, I saw him die. That sticks with a person, you know? Or maybe you don't.

On another note, everyone who showed up that night got out of Azkaban by saying you'd Imperio'd them. Just thought I'd pass that on. Oh, and Lucius gave Ginny Weasley your old school diary, if he hasn't told you already. You almost came back too...but I stabbed it...with a basilisk fang. By the way, Basil's dead. I killed 'em with Godric's sword. Is it a he or a she do you know?

Any chance you could send some cookies? My cousin tends to eat all the ones in the house, not that I'd be allowed even a crumb. Thanks for that by the way. Wonderful of you to kill my parents and get me stuck with magic-phobic muggles of the worst sort. At least last year's Ton-Tongue Toffee Incident got D to lay off.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

Yours,

The-Boy-Who-Lived

A/N: This can continue, or it can die. Let me know.