Finding My Angel

Yeah yeah. I know I said I wouldn't start the sequel until I finished When Reality Hits. Unfortunately, my brain had other intentions and the first chapter or two of this has been plaguing me since an hour after I posted the last chapter of Trials of Love! *sigh* So here it is! I decided to just go for it!

Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine no matter how much I beg and plead. Dean and Castiel only are mine in my dreams. : (

Chapter 1

It had been a month since Dean had escaped from Hell. It had been a whirlwind of a month as it had first been spent trying to convince his friends and family he was not a shapeshifter, demon, ghost, revenant, or any other thing a trained hunter could think of. It took some holy water and cutting himself with a silver knife to do the trick, but eventually everyone had settled down enough where he could actually be relieved about being home.

The second part had been adjusting to his new life. Dean had known life would continue without him. That's how life was. But he wasn't fully prepared as to what that would mean until he and Bobby went and found Sam. Dean learned that Sam had gone off on his own not long after they had buried him. Dean had no problem tracking him down, however, thanks to knowing his brother almost better than himself. When Dean found him, though, he wasn't prepared for the beautiful brown-haired, blue-eyed bombshell that answered the door.

"This is Amanda," Sam explained once the initial shock of seeing Dean had worn off. "It's OK… she knows everything… she's a hunter too."

Dean learned that Sam had gone off the deep end after he had died and was on a pretty self destructive path. He was going after demons, trying to make a deal to bring Dean back, when he ran into Amanda after an attempt to make a deal went very very bad. She had been in the area after hearing rumors about an unusual number of demons sightings and had spotted the building Sam was in and saw it catch fire. She helped Sam get out safely and then helped him through his grief. Since she was a hunter Sam could actually open up about everything that had happened and she could actually somewhat understand.

It was obvious to Dean as he watched the two them together that Sam was head-over-heels in love with her. Even though they had only been together for a few months Sam and Amanda acted as though they had been together for years. Sam was more relaxed and at ease than Dean could remember even seeing him as he lounged on the couch in the small house he and Amanda shared. Dean knew as he watched Sam gently cover Amanda's hand with his own that he had made his decision and that decision included a life with this woman.

Dean was happy for Sam. He was. It made him feel better to know that Sam wasn't suffering alone while he had been gone. And Amanda was everything Dean had hoped Sam would find in a woman. Beautiful, intelligent, feisty, and willing to live the hunter lifestyle.

Still, he couldn't help feel a twinge of jealousy as he watched them together, so happy and so in love. He knew without asking that Sam was getting the chance to have the life he had always dreamed of. A life without having to seek revenge and be alone in a motel room night after night. He could now have the house, the wife, the family. Everything. And while Dean knew it would mean he would have to step back, he would never deprive Sam of what he wanted. And for that he knew Sam was grateful.

Besides, Dean had much bigger concerns at the moment. Specifically, how did he manage to escape from Hell? It hadn't been Sam or Bobby as both had vehemently denied making any deals. The only evidence that whoever had done it had left were scars on each of Dean's shoulders in the form of a handprint. Even with this they had no success in finding any answers in Bobby's books.

At one point, Bobby contacted an old friend, Pamela Barnes, who was a psychic to try to see if she could find anything out. Bobby had assured Dean that she was the best psychic around and that if anyone could find out what happened it would be her.

Dean instantly liked Pamela. She was a little older than him, but beautiful and definitely feisty. She wasn't afraid to dish back the friendly flirting Dean sent her way and he couldn't help but be a little hopeful that even if this séance didn't work out then at least he could get a little "Welcome Back from Hell" action.

The séance that took place did prove to be interesting, although not in the way Dean had expected. They had sat around the table and Pamela tried to make contact. Her hand on the scar on Dean's shoulder was soft and cool.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle," Her voice was calm, commanding as she worked to summon whoever it was. "I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle."

Dean heard the TV make a noise and saw the screen flicker when he looked at it. He saw Pamela frown.

"Why won't you tell me your name?" Her frown deepened with confusion. "I am asking you to appear before me… I'm not afraid to look at your face…"

Dean couldn't explain it but something felt… off… like there was something wrong. Now the radio on the counter began going berserk and the table they were sitting around began to shake.

"I don't understand why you're afraid," Pamela insisted. "You are a powerful being to be able to pull Dean from Hell… why would you not want him to know who you are?"

Suddenly, the TV exploded, the glass making up the screen spraying across the living room. Then a sound unlike anything Dean had ever heard before pierced the room. Its loudness and pitch was so intense that everyone at the table cried out in pain and desperately covered their ears in an attempt to block out the sound. The windows shattered in the room and the table continued to shake.

And then it was over just as quickly as it had begun. When Dean looked up he saw Pamela hadn't been covering her ears like everyone else. But the look on her face showed that she had heard something completely different than the rest of them.

"It doesn't want to be known," Pamela said in a hoarse whisper. Her confident smile was gone and her face was pale. "I… I'm sorry."

She rushed everyone out of the house before Dean could ask her anything else. He couldn't help but notice, though, that she wouldn't meet his eye as he left.

* * *

With no other leads Dean was forced to try and return to the old routine of hunting. Since Sam wasn't traveling very far from his new home Dean was back to being on his own. He didn't mind it so much, but it was still lonely at times.

It was the loneliness that had driven him to the bar that night. It was some rundown shamble of a bar out in the middle of nowhere. Dean had wrapped up a pretty basic hunt of getting rid of a ghost in an abandoned house. Nothing too difficult for him. He was content to settle himself up at the bar and drink his beer while scoping out the other patrons. There was one girl who he thought looked pretty promising. A cute blonde thing wearing a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans that Dean was more than ready to get her out of. He had made eye contact with her a couple times while she played pool with some of her friends. He knew he was doing good when she would smile and wink back at him.

He was ordering another beer when a figure at the end of the bar caught his eye all of a sudden. It was a man, appearing to be in his mid-thirties. He had dark hair and what had caught Dean's eye was how he was dressed. Instead of the other patrons who wore leather jackets or Carharts, this man was dressed in a simple business suit and wore a long tan trench coat over it. He looked like a tax accountant who would be more at home in an office than a grungy smoky bar room. He didn't seem to be interested in the crowd at the bar and no one was taking any particular note of him except for Dean. He had a beer in front of him that looked untouched while the man silently watched the big screen TV that was hung over the bar.

Dean didn't know why he was staring at this strange man. It wasn't like he had never seen an out-of-place guy in a bar before. But there was something about this guy that held Dean's interest. Maybe it was the expressionless look on his face as he watched the football game, showing no interest towards either of the teams. Maybe it was the way the beer never made its way to the man's lips.

"Hey there," a voice suddenly said next to Dean. He turned and saw blonde from the pool table sidling coyly up next to him with a flirty smile on her face. "Mind having some company?"

Dean quickly plastered on his most charming smile and tried to ignore the nagging voice inside his head that wanted to study the man at the other side of the bar more.

"Not at all. Name's Dean," Dean said smiling.

"Brandy," Brandy replied. She flagged the bartender down and ordered herself a drink. "So, what brings you here?"

"Just taking a night off," Dean replied. "Yourself?"

"My friends and I are passing through. We're on our way to Wyoming. Big cross country trip."

It didn't take Dean long to figure out that this girl was interested in the exact same thing he was. And that was perfectly fine for him. That meant a lot less work on his part. When the conversation was interrupted by her phone receiving a text message, however, that she had to answer, Dean took the opportunity to sneak a glance at the mystery man at the end of the bar.

To his shock, Dean saw the man looking directly at him, watching his interactions with the young woman. The man quickly looked away and down at the beer in front of him as if he was embarrassed about being noticed. If Dean didn't know better, he would have sworn that the man looked… hurt.

Brandy quickly gave Dean's arm a tug to get his attention.

"Hey! I just told my girlfriends that I would be staying with you tonight. How about we get out of this place?"

Dean smiled and stood up. He threw some cash on the bar before wrapping his arm around Brandy's waist. He forced himself not to look back at the man at the bar.

"Sounds good to me," Dean said as they began weaving their way to the door.

* * *

Castiel watched Dean leave the bar with his arm wrapped around the blonde girl's waist. He felt his heart break as he knew what they would be doing later.

This is the way it has to be. This is the way it will be. Dean will have his own life now. He doesn't know who you are.

Castiel was grateful for everything his Father had given him. He was an angel once more. A high-ranking angel at that. And he no longer had any reason to have to be on Earth. He could enjoy the peace of Heaven for all eternity.

Yet here he was. In a bar. In the middle of nowhere.

He didn't know himself the reason why he had come here. Perhaps it was the faint gleam of hope that somehow Dean would remember everything once he saw him. That Dean would run to him and take him in his arms once again. But he had seen the curious look in Dean's eyes, but there was no recognition there.

The séance with Pamela had threatened to expose Castiel and he remembered vividly what had happened to the psychic the last time. He didn't want to repeat that performance so he reacted the only way he could think of. He used his true voice with the knowledge she would be able to hear it.

"I rendered you blind before, Pamela, in another life, and I will not do that to you again. I am righting the wrongs of a past life and Dean Winchester must never know who I am. I love him too much to hurt him again. I am an angel of the Lord, Pamela, and I am entrusting you to never reveal that fact."

He knew that she wasn't expecting that response and had been relieved that she actually kept her silence. His secret was safe with her.

But yet here he was. Risking exposure.

Risking heartache.

Castiel stood up and made his way out of the bar. No one paid any attention to him as he entered the night outside.


Alright, so what'd you guys think? It's a little weird writing an alternate universe-type story, but I think it should be pretty interesting. And just so you guys know, I only have a very vague idea of where the story is headed so I'm really looking forward to your feedback to help give me ideas!

Thanks for reading! : )