Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
A/N: This is Edward and Jasper slash. I'm just trying my hand at this little one-shot of fluff because I'm inspired by all of you wonderful writers who have paired our boys together in such delicious ways. Rated M... because neither horny teenage Edward nor I can just stop at a kiss. ;) Update: Apparently I can't just stop at a one-shot either!
I ran my hands through my hair, trying not to squint at my companion in the tiny dark room. It was a nervous habit, as natural to me as breathing. It was only a few years ago that I realized my father has the exact same habit, and that somewhere along the way I unconsciously mimicked the motion. The only difference was that he was one of those lucky few whose hair remained blond throughout adulthood. Mine was a peculiar bronze color, as if it were possible that my mother's mahogany hair color was actually mixed together with my father's blond in my DNA.
I was running my hands through my hair this time because I was nervous. Extremely nervous.
I was not entirely sure how I ended up here, alone with Jasper, without dying of embarrassment along the way. We weren't really friends. He was friends with my twin sister and my older brother. Ever since my brother Emmett started dating Jasper's sister Rosalie, he was thrust into my life, shaking up my world. And then my twin sister Alice had to go and befriend him and they became nearly inseparable, increasing my torture exponentially.
You see, Jasper was it for me - my Mr. Rochester, my Mr. Darcy, my Mr. Knightly. That is, if I had been a character in a Bronte or Austen novel... well, and a woman. Alice knew I was gay before I did. She always knew everything about everyone, whether we told her or not. I always felt different from most of the boys my age, that was certain, but it wasn't until adolescence that I began to understand that part of the reason for my feeling different was not angst or my intellect or my preference for Classical music over the obnoxious hip hop that took over the very white town of Forks, Washington. No, I was different because it wasn't bikini clad woman sprawled out over sports cars that got me all hot and bothered.
My object of arousal came in the form of one Jasper Hale, with his dirty blond hair, the inch of height he had on my 6'2" frame, his broad shoulders and chest, both accentuated by his perfect army brat posture, his toned legs, and his perfect, round, firm ass... he was my undoing.
The worst part was that the attraction did not end at the physical. If it were just a physical attraction then I could have tolerated it. I could have ignored the constant erection I had around him, finished high school without incident, gone off to college in a city where being openly gay didn't make me a freak, and find other gay men to go on dates with, kiss, and with any luck have sex with. But of course, nothing was ever easy in the life of Edward Cullen. No, Jasper had to go ahead and be absolutely perfect. Easy-going, often quiet, but made it worth it when he spoke with his rather biting wit and gentle self-deprecation. It was so easy to be around him, which made it even harder for me to avoid becoming his friend. Luckily with school and music and track and cross country I was fairly busy, and he was on the wrestling team with Emmett in the winter, during my off season, so we were able to maintain a casual acquaintanceship.
It was too much torture to be around him anymore than that.
So how did I end up here, alone, in a closet with Jasper Hale, for seven minutes supposedly of heaven? One word – Alice.
Here we were, two weeks away from graduating high school, and I had successfully made it through four years of maintaining for the most part a public heterosexual façade, of successfully not forcefully throwing myself at Jasper, of quietly coming out to my parents and older brother, and my handful of close friends, who were all nothing but supportive. Yet somehow, in the course of an evening, my older brother and his girlfriend, already home from college for the summer, my best friend Bella and her boyfriend Jake, my sister and her flavor of the month Riley, all knew not only of my sexual preference (granted they probably all knew or had some idea anyway) but also of my insatiable crush on Jasper.
But it didn't end there. No, in a bittersweet twist of fate, with a pinch of Alice thrown in, it didn't end there.
I should have been elated I supposed, because a few months after starting to get an inkling that Jasper was a very closeted homosexual, I found out through this ridiculous game of Truth or Dare that not only were my desperately hopeful guesses correct, but that he, Jasper Hale, my object of worship and unrequited devotion, had a crush on me as well. The heavens should have parted and angels should have sung. But no, instead what should have been a very private confession, which should have happened during a beautiful sunset or some shit like that, happened during a semi-drunken game of Truth or Dare in my parents' basement in front of my family, best friends, and Alice's current boy toy.
Mortifying didn't even come close to covering it.
To make matters worse, Alice, stupid, just-trying-to-help Alice, dared me. Because I could not handle any more truthful confessions, she dared me to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Jasper. I had kissed a few girls over the years, partly to keep up the façade, partly morbid curiosity, but I had never, ever kissed a boy. Did I mention that Forks has a population of roughly 3200? The odds of me finding another gay male in my age bracket that I was remotely attracted to were close to zero. Of course, Jasper ruined those odds, not only was there another gay male in my age bracket all this time, but he had a crush on me, and I had spent hours upon hours of my life fantasizing about growing old with him. The last thing I wanted in the world was for my first kiss with Jasper, potentially the love of my life, to happen in a closet on a dare from my sister.
Alice didn't get it; it wasn't a big deal to her. She dated through most of the boys at Forks High School over the course of four years. She wasn't slutty, most of the relationships didn't go beyond kissing (or at least this is what she told her somewhat over-protective twin brother), but she didn't understand that not all of us could share ourselves so freely. She never really understood that it wasn't simply a crush that I had on Jasper; no, because if I were being completely honest, then I would have to admit that I was in love with him.
So that's why I was running my hands through my hair in the dark, damn near tearing it out, wanting to ravage the boy fidgeting nervously beside me, while simultaneously wanting to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to." Finally, he broke the ice with a touch of rejection in his voice that pierced through me like daggers.
"No, no, it's not that Jasper, it's not that at all. Jesus this is so embarrassing." The words spewing uncontrollably out of my mouth.
"What is it then?" I could not read his voice, the rejection was now replaced with a mix of disappointment, embarrassment, anger, and, or maybe I was just flattering myself, unadulterated lust.
I paused. Over-thinking and over-analyzing had never gotten me anywhere, and censoring myself around him wasn't going to help. If there was one thing I understood by observing everyone else I knew in their respective relationships over the years as I played third, sometimes fifth wheel, it was that you had to be honest. Wait, relationship? I was getting way ahead of myself, nowhere did making out in a closet amount to being in a relationship with someone. So I stopped, took a deep breath and my words rushed out.
"You have no idea, Jasper, how long I've admired you from afar, wanted you, not just physically, though that too, of course, but all of you, wanted to be with you. And then I find out during a game of fucking truth or dare that at least a tiny portion of my utter attraction to you is mutual. But I didn't get to revel in it, process it, see it in your eyes, take you out on a date or just hang out with you or anything, before I get shoved ironically into a closet with you by my idiot sister. Shit, I've never kissed a guy Jasper, I don't want my first kiss with you to be in a closet, in the dark, because of some bullshit plan of Alice's to get us together."
The silence was deafening.
It was probably only a few seconds, but after pouring my heart out in one long breath, each second with no response was excruciating. I couldn't stand it any longer.
"Come on," was all he said and he grabbed my hand, opened the door and pulled me out of the closet. I struggled to keep up with him as we walked back into the room where our bemused friends were all coupled off in various stages of pre-coitus.
Of course Alice was not distracted enough to ignore our entrance.
"That definitely was not seven minutes."
"Thanks Alice, really, but we have to do this our way," Jasper huffed and hurried us past her as a profoundly confused looked emerged on her face.
I'm sure my own bewildered expression matched that of my twin as again I had to hurry to keep up with Jasper, hand still clutched in mine, as he all but pulled me up the stairs.
I was too stunned to say a word as he continued to lead me outside, out of the confines of my parents' home and into the warm May evening. I gulped down a few deep breaths, unaware how suffocated I felt in that basement. He said nothing as we walked a few blocks through residential Forks. I wasn't sure he had a destination in mind, but I could only follow him complacently, trying to savor how soft and warm his hand felt clutched in mine and thank my body for somehow saving me the embarrassment of sweaty palms. After a few minutes, we stopped, and I finally looked up, out of my reverie, to see that we were at the playground at Forks Elementary. I looked at Jasper then as we stood side by side, and he just shrugged, dropped my hand, and walked over to the swings.
He sat down and I took my place next to him. I was finally able to see his face clearly for the first time since the madness of this evening had begun. I watched his features soften and wistful expression began to form as he looked out at the playground equipment. Because his family moved around a lot, he was robbed of a few childhood pleasures that could only be found in a small town like Forks. Though I could sit and gawk at him for hours, I took the courage I had found in the closet and spoke.
"How long have you known?"
He turned, the first time really looking at me. "Known that I was into guys? Or known that I was into you?"
A groan escaped my lips before I could get out the word, "Both."
"If I'm really being honest, probably since we first moved to Forks, but... I didn't let myself see you that way."
"Well, I wasn't really even out then," I mused, half to him and half to myself in remembrance of his first days at Forks High.
"Yeah, but it was more than that though. You've got to understand, Ed. I didn't even think it was an option when I was growing up. I mean, I didn't even know that people were gay. So when I hit puberty and all my friends were becoming obsessed with trying to score Playboys and bad pornos, and then realizing that tits and pussy did nothing for me; well, I thought there was something wrong with me."
"I guess I kind of felt that way for awhile too."
"But that's not the end of it for me. I was really close with my dad before I started making all these discoveries. So, when I thought there was something wrong with me, of course I went to him..."
"Oh no, Jasper."
"Well, he figured it out right away. He's not a bigot, not really. I can't blame him. He just had his only son's life planned out for him and that life didn't include a life partner instead of a wife, or adopted children that wouldn't carry on the Hale gene line. So, he kind of let me continue thinking that there was something wrong with me. Until eventually it became undeniable. I'm gay. That's all there is to it."
I didn't know what to say, so of course the lamest thing possible spilled out of my mouth,
"I'm really sorry you had to go through that."
He got up from the swing suddenly and I was afraid that I had blown it by pressing him too far. His gait was slow as he walked away from the swings. He paused and turned around, as if asking me to follow him, and then continued forward to the play fort on the other side of the playground.
I rose from my swing slowly and gingerly followed his retreating form. I tried not to laugh as I watched his 6 foot 3 inch frame climbing the wooden ladder that led up to the top of the fort. I followed him up the ladder, surely looking equally as ridiculous. As I reached the top I was tempted for a brief nostalgic second to turn left and go down the slide, but instead I turned right and ducked into the walled look-out tower. I found Jasper was sitting there with his legs crossed, starring absently into space.
I sunk down to sit Indian style across from him.
"Jasper?" my voice shook.
"Can I kiss you now?"
I leaned forward toward him as he leaned toward me. Our knees touching. And then our lips met.
It was a simple kiss, gentle, perfect. Deeper than a peck, open mouth but no tongues. His wide lips so soft and tender against mine. I sighed.
But horny teenage Edward was not satisfied, because a split second later I was attacking him. I pushed him back until his back rested against the wall of the fort while I settled for straddling his now-extended right leg. I took a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm my racing heart beat and then pressed my lips, more roughly this time, against his. He responded just as I had hoped.
When I needed a breath I took the opportunity to unbutton the top buttons of his shirt as I began to trail lingering, wet kisses down his neck. Buttons no longer an obstacle, I opened his black shirt to reveal, in all its glory, the beautiful chest that had tortured me for the past three years. A moan escaped my lips and suddenly I became a fury of hands and lips as I attacked the taut pectoral muscles and glorious washboard that I had unearthed as well. It wasn't until I heard a small groan that I realized the body I was worshiping was really there, alive, with me. I drew my lips up to his ear and whispered into it,
"Jasper, you are so fucking hot I can hardly stand it."
As if it had a mind of its own, my tongue darted out and gently traced the rim of his ear, which elicited the sexiest noise I had ever heard in my life. I silently thanked Alice for reading Cosmo articles out loud to me.
I felt my shirt lift from my body and up over my head and then it was I who became the object of his eye-fucking. I followed his gray-blue eyes as he took in my chest, my abs, the straining bulge between my hips, and then his hands darted out and I felt my body turning, lifting off his leg that I had been unconsciously dry-humping, until those strong hands settled me between his legs, my back facing him.
"You have no idea how you've tortured me," his voice almost like a purr.
I could feel his eyes ogling me even though I could not see his face. I was about to say that I had every idea how it felt to be tortured this way, when a pair of moist lips touched the base of my neck right below where my hair ended.
"You have no idea how fucking good you look when you are walking away," his low voice hung in the air, warming me from the shiver his lips had just educed.
There was another soft kiss on the back of my neck, and then the barrage came, trailing down my back, pushing me forward, bending at the waist so his lips could reach lower and lower. I thought I was going to explode.
"Jas-" I hissed.
"Need. More," was his response.
His left arm came up across my chest and pulled me back until my back was flush with his glorious chest. A split second later his right hand came from out of nowhere and I could only gasp as it shoved down into my jeans, under my boxers, gripping my painfully hard erection. I fumbled with the button and zipper of my jeans; I had to give him more room. I lifted slightly, to push my jeans down a bit, and as I did so I felt positively naked when his hand disappeared from my cock. My whimper was cut off by the hand returning, this time warm and wet, presumably with his sweet saliva.
He started stroking slowly up my cock, his hand gripping me firmly. At first I was startled at the sensation of having another hand wrapped around me, but the shock quickly wore off. As I felt his thumb rub up underneath and over my head, I just gave in to the pleasure.
My hips starting bucking up slightly in rhythm to his strokes, even as he changed the pace, alternating between fast hard strokes and then slower tantalizing ones. I ignored the pain that the post-consumer recycled plastic lumber was causing from the friction I was creating with my motions. I could feel the top of my ass grinding against his own rock-hard dick that was pressed between us. I couldn't help it, instinctively I rubbed against him, on pace with the rhythm set by his hand.
Now, I was a pro at jerking off. I knew how to get myself off and make it feel good. If someone could be said to be skilled at masturbating, it would be me.
This was so much better, I couldn't even compare.
After an almost embarrassingly short amount of time I could feel my balls begin to tighten and a flutter in my stomach as the blood in my body rushed away from my extremities. I wanted to hold it back. I never wanted his surprisingly skilled hand to ever stop touching my always-present erection. But then the pulsing waves of orgasm forcefully overtook my entire body and I lazily wondered why I ever wanted to prevent this feeling from happening.
Only then did I feel something warm and wet against my back, and couldn't hide the smirk on my face at knowing that it felt as good for him as it did for me.
Always prepared, like the Eagle Scout he was, Jasper pulled out a handkerchief to wipe off his hand, and to clean up my back and his stomach from his own release. Lacking the energy and desire to leave this moment, I did the only thing I could and leaned back once again into Jasper's chest.
I felt his arms wrap around me as his lips once again pressed against the base of my neck.
"Say something," his breath warm against my skin.
"I don't... fuck... couldn't string together... coherent sentence if I wanted to."
"So you liked it?"
Serious about my lack of ability to speak, I leaned to the side and turned my head, attacking his lips with mine once more. He met my assault with gusto and we continued to make out as I turned my body to face his. It wasn't long before my crazy teenage sex drive kicked in and I could feel my dick start to harden once again, as if forgetting the mind-numbing explosion that had just occurred, but I wasn't mentally ready for another round yet. I was too busy savoring the incredible difference between feeling this solid masculine figure against me over feeling the soft curves of a girl. Breast and hips were fine I supposed, but they just never felt this right.
Jasper seemed to have the same idea as me, as his hands began tracing lines all over my body. His lips frequently letting mine go in order to plant them on a different area of my body. He found a sweet spot behind my ear that made me groan. I found that he most definitely enjoyed the feel of my lips on his Adam's apple. He elicited a moan from me as his tongue traced my collarbone. I got him back as I tugged gently at his nipples with my teeth.
And so it went.
I could have stayed there forever, seated in Jasper's lap, his body flush with mine, just feeling and learning each other. But despite the warmth our bodies created and the unseasonably warm spring weather, at some point we realized that our shivers weren't just from pleasure. So we decided that we should probably head back to my house, and got up to leave our fortress.
I shrugged back into my shirt, but didn't make it two steps before I doubled over with laughter.
"What? What's so funny?" I could sense some panic in his voice, so I quickly tried to explain.
"Well, first of all, what we just did," I gasped. "Children play here. We just violated every future game of cowboys and Indians, or whatever, that the kids of Forks will ever play here."
I could see the corners of Jasper's mouth start to turn, his eyes sparkling.
"Second, I was freaked out about kissing you inside a closet, and we ended up in a playground fort that has some very distinct closet-like features."
Jasper had started to chuckle at this point.
"And third," I gasped, having difficulty getting the words out. "There is no way Alice won't be able to tell exactly what just happened between us, because there's nothing that could stop me from walking around with a shit-eating grin on my face for at least the next week. Not to mention I'm probably glowing right now."
And then laughter overcame him as well. We eventually were able to get a hold of ourselves and made it down the ladder.
We were still laughing at the absurd chain of events as we walked back to my house then, trying to prepare ourselves for the inevitable Alice attack. I wanted to ask him what this meant, if his attraction to me ended at the physical, if he wanted to do this again, or even if he wanted to go on a date. But I couldn't ruin the moment with my own neuroses. As we got nearer to the house he slipped his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, as if sensing my internal freak out, and that was all I needed.