Wow. I feel bad for writing this. Not because I'm unhappy with how it turned out but because I have 4 other unfinished fics with very important chapters needing to be updated and instead, here I am writing oneshots. Bleh...I'm an irresponsible author. But this idea just kind of came to me after reading the extra in the back of Loveless 7. I think...it wasn't released in the translated version but I found it online, its called Goodnight Baby. Anyways, it inspired this:
"Don't touch me."
Soubi's eyes widened in surprise, hurt flickering across them for a moment before being carefully concealed. He drew his hand back, returning it to his pocket.
Seimei's tone was hard, cold as the snow that flurried around them, but he was smiling. No warmth emanated from that either. It was in complete contrast with his eyes, coming off as sly or scheming. It was as if he took pleasure in the pain he'd seen there, in the fact that he alone had the power to cause it.
"Your fingers hurt."
Soubi blinked. "You looked cold."
"Yes, and thank you for the scarf" he replied, fingering the edges of the yarn, "but that's no reason to touch me."
"I'm really...sorry" Soubi replied slowly, staring at his hand as if confused. As if wondering how so light a touch could possibly hurt. He hadn't meant it to. His hand has hurt many others, but not Seimei. Never Seimei.
"Other's fingers hurt, so I don't want to be touched by anyone."
Soubi didn't reply, though he lowered his hand, and Seimei felt his mouth curve upwards.
"Hearing you apologize, I like it. Seeing the loneliness on your face...I like that too."
And he did. It was perhaps his favorite expression. It was deeper that physical pain, more cutting. Because while cuts healed, and even left scars upon the skin, the pain would eventually subside. The same could not be said for scars of the heart. The pain would remain, appearing ever so often as expressions such as this. A living reminder of the power he wielded. The power he relished. When Soubi said nothing, watching him with that terribly lonely expression, he felt his smile grow. "Well it's time." His voice was cold and yet it held an edge of mirth, cold and sharp. "Go back to your room. Go back to your empty room and sleep alone." He relished in the shadow that passed across the fighter's face. In the knowledge that each word left yet another small, immortal, scar. "When I'm here and when I'm not, You are mine. When I'm here and when I'm not, think only of me."
And with that he turned,walking off into the night, confident that his will would be done. He knew it. Because it was guaranteed.
And Soubi knew it too, as he watched his master's retreating back. Knew that the words were meant to cut as they had, were meant to invoke the reaction. And he knew full well that he'd yet again be swamped with an oppressive loneliness as he sat alone in his room that night. Because despite the people around him, despite the fact that he had the only person that mattered at all, it didn't count. Because he didn't really, truly have him. He was had, at times, when it was convenient, or when he was wanted by others. But when he wanted someone, someone who knew him, understood him, someone to be kind. Someone to ease the emptiness in his chest, he was utterly alone...
"-bi?" He jumped slightly, startled, blinking down at the boy besides him. "Soubi?" He repeated, his tone wavering with slight annoyance. "Are you even listening?"
"Of course Ritsuka", he replied, willing his tone confident, tossing him what he hoped was an easy smile. He almost succeeded, but it came off just a little wavy, faltering just slightly, looking just a little forced. Ritsuka narrowed his eyes at it, but didn't say anything. "Like I said..." he continued, his tone a blatant signal that Soubi'd been caught in his lie; That he knew full well that he hadn't heard a word he'd said. "...Christmas is coming up and I was wondering what I should get for everyone..."
Soubi just kept smiling, nodding slightly as he tuned out yet again. He knew he should be listening to Ritsuka's careless rambling, that he usually enjoyed it, but he couldn't focus. As they walked along the street, the cool December air whipping around them, he found his thoughts trailing back to that previous night...with Seimei...
He let his eyes drop to the boy beside him. Seimei's brother. It was unfathomable how similar they could be physically, while inside...
Inside they were polar opposites.
Or were they?
Hie memories reconfigured themselves, shaped themselves around this night, put him with Ritsuka. Made it Ritsuka's who'd pushed him away, who'd left him standing in the dark, lonely and hurt.
The very thought was like a stab to the heart. Hard, each passing second twisting the blade. Twisting it with the fear of the scenario, it's probability. Would Ritsuka truly push him away like that? Whisper cold things in a colder voice? His masochistic side dared him to try it, to see, while his other half held him back. Refused. Because if the scenario did indeed play out...
He honestly didn't know what he'd do.
He shook his head, shook the painful thoughts away, just in time to catch the tail end of some question he'd been asked. Snapping back to reality, he blinked again, stopping. Ritsuka had gotten a little ways in front of him and was now standing before him expectantly.
"Um...I'm sure it'll be fine."
This was apparently the wrong answer, he noted, as the boys face dropped.
"You weren't listening at all, were you?"
He'd loved to say he was, but that was one lie he was unable to back up. He'd been too distracted by what were probably silly thoughts. What would it matter if Ritsuka turned out just like his brother? It's not like it could change anything.
So why was he walking forwards ever so slowly?
"I'm sorry Ritsuka",He replied, his voice contrite. "It's my fault. I'm very...distracted, tonight." he stopped in front of the boy, turning his face upwards just a little to where small flurries were descending, ready to cover the Earth in a fresh coat of white. When Ritsuka raised an eyebrow, he took a deep breath. "It's very cold tonight."
"I guess" Ritsuka shrugged, narrowing his eyes at the older man. He'd been acting strangely all night. Granted he was always pretty strange but still-
He blinked as Soubi's scarf made it's way around his neck.
"It's cold" he repeated.
"But I don't want it!" he argued, "Take it back!"
"But it's cold."
"Well yeah...I guess..." He fingered the scarf before frowning up at Soubi. If he didn't know better he'd have sworn he'd heard disappointment. Desperation. But that'd make no sense...
Barely breathing, the blond felt his heart restrict at the disapproval he saw in the gaze. Felt his chest tighten, perhaps worse than with Seimei. Because this was Ritsuka. Sweet, kind, Ritsuka. And that even he seemed to reject him-
"But won't you get cold?"
He froze, blinking in surprise yet again, looking down at the boy. Black ears twitching, he was looking up at him with complete naive concern...
"Of course",he replied slowly, as if the blond had some sort of mental disability. "It's not like I want you to catch cold or anything."
"It's fine", he replied, wrapping the scarf just a little tighter, purposefully letting his fingers brush across his face, his shoulders. Carefully watching for signs of pain, signs that his touch , gentle as it was, hurt. When he saw none he smiled. "I'm not cold at all."
Ritsuka eyed him strangely before shrugging it off as typical weird Soubi behavior.
"Alright..." he paused. "So...what color do you think Yuiko would like best? I mean I know she likes pink but-"
Soubi closed his eyes contentedly, letting Ritsuka's chatter fill his ears. Very carefully, he slid his hand over, capturing Ritsuka's smaller one, allowing his own to engulf it. Ritsuka paused of a moment, to notice, but didn't move his hand away. Warmth exploding in his chest, Soubi walked along besides him.
"Pink", he supplied, though what it was that was supposed to be pink was beyond him. He had more important things on his mind. Like the fact that Ritsuka, for all his similarities, was nothing like his brother.
And that for the first time that night, as they walked hand in hand through the cold December air, he was warm, and happy. And not the least bit lonely.
OMG!!!! THIS WAS SO UNEXPECTED BUTMY GOD I WROTE SOMETHING!!! NOT SOMETHING FOR MY MULTI-CHAP FICS WHICH SADDENS ME, BUT SOEMTHING!!!
Of course I'd have to write it when I should be doing homework...God I'm tired... But anyways, while it might of have been my best, I hope you enjoyed my little piece of uber-fluff anyways.