Pairing: DiNozzo/Mcgee
Summary: 50 Themes , 1 sentence per theme
Word Count: 2659, so you know they can't be real sentences. Oh God I feel so grammatically dirty.
Spoilers: Various through the seasons, interspersed with things I just plain made up.
Disc: Not mine.

#01 – Comfort

He never thought he would ever enjoy being called Probie, and maybe he still doesn't, but the first time he hears it after Tony's back and they're all stashing their stuff once more in their respective desks, it feels a little bit like home.

#02 – Kiss

Their first kiss isn't really a kiss, per say, more like a falling together onto a couch in a psychiatrist's office – and no, the irony is not lost on Tim – in which mouths happen to touch; but Tony doesn't pull back nearly as quick as he should, and Tim thinks that later they are less pretending it didn't happen and more just afraid to bring it back up.

#03 – Soft

Tony buries his face back into the pillows – soft and smelling too much like Tim – when he wakes up to find McGee gone the next morning; and people always said he was the one with commitment issues.

#04 – Pain

Pain, Tony realizes, is pretty mistakable for pleasure when you're so drunk and lonely that you go home with the first able body you find at the bar and pray that you can feel enough and stay in the moment long enough that you don't call out 'Tim' when you should be calling out a name you don't even remember.

#05 – Potatoes

"You better stop looking so damn cute, Probie, or else you're going to have me saying things that'll have them forcing me to peel potatoes for a week," Tony jokes before McGee has the chance to turn off the live feed from MTAC to the USS Seahawk; McGee somehow manages to choke on air, but Gibbs just rolls his eyes and says "They don't do that anymore, DiNozzo," before turning it off himself.

#06 – Rain

Tony finds more than a few stupid excuses to send the Probie out into the poor weather, because the only thing more adorable than a rain soaked McGee is an angry, rain soaked McGee.

#07 – Chocolate

McGee does not seem to appreciate the chocolate and flowers that Tony leaves on his desk for him, and the rest of the world, to find in the morning; Tony doesn't much care.

#08 – Happiness

He thought happiness was what he had with Jeanne, but he realizes, sitting with McGee who's trying to help him forget and talking about this and that and 'do you remember when?' that happiness like what he had with Jeanne was the kind that burns swift and hot and hurts like hell when it's over; not like what McGee is offering – smoldering and deep and so ingrained that if he ever lost it, lost this, that would be something he could never forget.

#09 – Telephone

He knows he shouldn't answer McGee's cell phone, but he left it right there on his desk, right where Tony could get to it, and he should really know better than that; plus, he knows McGee never really liked the girl to begin with, he's just too nice to tell her himself.

#10 – Ears

It's four years into their working relationship before McGee discovers Tony's ears turn bright red when he's really embarrassed; it's four days into their sexual relationship before he takes full advantage of the knowledge with a novelist's vocabulary and a very talented tongue.

#11 – Name

'Probie' doesn't sound nearly as bad when it's whispered and hurried and charged with tension, and McGee sounds almost endearing when it's shouted at the climax of certain situations, but 'Tim, yes, yes oh God Tim' is probably the sweetest thing he's ever, ever heard.

#12 – Sensual

Sensual is not a word that McGee would normally ascribe to Tony DiNozzo, but late at night, as Tony lays there, breath heavy, face flushed, lips parted, McGee is hard pressed to find a better one.

#13 – Death

He's sick, and possibly dying, and in the hospital and Kate is there, Abby is there, Gibbs is there and McGee isn't, and it hurts more than the burning in his lungs that he's pushed McGee so far away that he doesn't even care; except one night he's there, and no one else is, and Tony thinks it might be a dream when McGee squeezes his hand and looks like he's going to cry, whispers, "Get better, Tony. Please," before he's gone.

#14 – Sex

It's more than a little ironic that Tony's the one who wants to take it slow and McGee's the one chomping at the bit, but neither are prepared to say no after a near death experience and the thought of never never never is only alleviated by now now now.

#15 - Touch

McGee is not a touchy feely person; Tony is, and makes it his life goal for all of two weeks to change McGee's mind – until McGee starts touching back and Tony realizes just how bad of an idea work place misbehavior can be, and gee whiz isn't karma a bitch?

#16 – Weakness

Gibbs knows his team forward and back – he has to – knows their strengths and knows their weaknesses: Ziva's weakness is in her strength, in not knowing when it's time to give up and McGee's weakness is not knowing how strong he really is; Tony's weakness is Tim.

#17 – Tears

He doesn't cry when Tony chooses her over him, but he doesn't cry when it doesn't work out with her, either.

#18 – Speed

Speed is for when things need to get done fast – getting to a crime scene, chasing down a murderer, doing inappropriate things in broom closets – and McGee is glad that Tony understands when it's time to slow down, glad that he knows when to calm down, draw it out and pant Tim's name for hours like a hymn.

#19 – Wind

The wind whips at his suit jacket as he hangs off the edge of the parking garage and Tim's voice is the closest he's ever come to hearing the voice of God; later on McGee will insist that Tony was hanging from the inside of a parking garage, so there really wasn't any wind, but he just looks smug and doesn't try to argue when Tony insists that McGee's still his hero, even if McGee's version of the story is farfetched and obviously mostly fabricated to make himself look better.

#20 – Freedom

Freedom is something Tony covets, something he needs, something he can't equate with commitment, and it hurts to know that if McGee finds freedom in Tony that the weight of the chains are probably going to drag him down.

#21 – Life

It's days like this – days when Abby is hanging off McGee and the Probie is getting more play from the grieving damsels in distress than Tony has gotten in weeks – that it's hard not to think life really sucks.

#22 – Jealousy

He knows it's stupid, knows there's nothing there between any of them, between Tim and Abby, between him and Tim, but he can't help snapping at her when she strings McGee along like he's still her little puppy; He brings her a CafPow later to make up for it, and she shoots him a knowing grin through an unnecessarily loud slurp that is almost as disconcerting as the earlier flash of jealousy.

#23 – Hands

McGee has the softest damn hands, and Tony has to work hard not to think about what they'd feel like in place of his own, works hard to picture manicured nails and pretty jewelry instead; Failure's never felt so sweet.

#24 – Taste

Tony tastes like sweat and sex and McGee, and Tim's thinking he's pretty much addicted.

#25 – Devotion

There's no need to prove anything to each other, not after six years of having each other's six and sharing secrets and truths that will mark them forever, but Tony insists, and his breath hitches and his eyes close and he locks his mouth with Tim's as Tim thrusts and God why did he wait so long to show McGee just how devoted he can be?

#26 – Forever

Tony doesn't know when spending forever without someone became scarier than spending forever with the same person.

#27 – Blood

Teams can be broken up – their team will be broken up, has been broken up -- but they will always wear the blood they've spilled, shared, witnessed together like scars under shirts and vicious tattoos torn into their flesh that no one can ever see but those who were there in the beginning.

#28 – Sickness

His stomach churns and he excuses himself for some fresh air and a trip to the restroom when McGee comes in smelling like perfume and wearing yesterday's tie.

#29 - Melody

McGee stops humming after Tony makes fun of him at work, but Tony's the one who's humming to himself as he puts dishes away that evening and doesn't care if Tim is smirking from the kitchen table.

#30 – Star

"Star light, star bright," McGee jokes, waits for Tony to finish for him, but Tony just shrugs; "Nah," he says – "I'm pretty happy with what I got."

#31 – Home

Home is an apartment with no couch and a bed surrounded by video games and cat5, LCD mounted to the wall, the bull pen, the Starbucks down the street and the Geek basement when McGee gets roped into fixing mistakes that would bring NCIS crashing down; Home is McGee, and Tony thinks that if he admits any of that out loud he might actually turn into a girl, but it doesn't matter because McGee knows it all the same.

#32 – Confusion

The awkward confusion that he earns at first when he starts being nicer to the Probie amuses almost as much as it stings.

#33 – Fear

Anthony DiNozzo isn't afraid of anything, except maybe heights, and possibly vampires, but he definitely isn't afraid of the dark; And it's not fear, just nerves, that he won't find McGee in time, and it's not fear, just adrenaline, that keeps him going until he finds him, and keeps him up at night for two weeks straight thinking about it – not fear at all.

#34 - Lightning/Thunder

Tony can practically smell the rain in the air as light flashes through the room, and Tim is rambling about the speed of light and bending the space-time continuum and how the fastest way from one point to another isn't necessarily a straight line and it's not that it's boring (it is) but it's the soft drone of Tim's voice, comforting in his ear, and the knowledge that he'll be there tomorrow that has Tony asleep before the first peal of thunder.

#35 – Bonds

McGee wonders if everyone but him has been aware of some sort of ongoing relationship between himself and Tony when he finds Tony's fuzzy hand cuffs stashed in his desk and Gibbs just waits patiently for the hard drive that was supposed to come out instead and Ziva barely even looks up from her monitor.

#36 – Market

"If you're in the market for a new boyfriend, there's a mighty fine example of masculinity that sits next to you eight hours a day," Tony teases when he catches McGee watching their latest suspect a little too closely, and he thinks he does a fantastic job of brushing off the unexpected lazy smirk McGee sends his way in return, even though his heart starts beating loud enough that he's worried about giving away their position to the mark.

#37 – Technology

Technology is highly overrated, Tim thinks as he watches Tony pour over a decade old file with a pen in his mouth, highlighter behind his ear and glasses perched precariously close to falling off.

#38 – Gift

The next year on Tim's birthday he comes in expecting the worst – more allergy inducing flowers sitting gaudy and huge on his desk, or big poofy heart balloons or something else equally gay and horrifying – and so he's a little wary of the innocent brown box that greets him; he waits and opens it at home, just in case, and feels bad enough that he actually calls Tony at 11 PM on a Thursday to thank him.

#39 – Smile

McGee has the best smile – it's big and goofy and honest, so when he smiles at Tony, or at one of his jokes or pranks, Tony knows he's really earned it .

#40 – Innocence

When they first met Tony found it hard to think of McGee as anything other than the green, innocent Probie – now, with the elevator stopped in Gibbs' patented 'emergency conference mode,' and his dick in McGee's mouth, he's finding it hard to think of anything at all.

#41 – Completion

Tony thinks it's in his best interest not to mention that he finished his own work forty-five minutes prior when he stands up with McGee to leave for the night.

#42 – Clouds

McGee looks sheepish when Gibbs barks at him to get his head out of the clouds and put the damn pictures up on the big screen, but not nearly as sheepish as he looks when he hits the wrong button and a picture of Tony pops up instead of a dead marine.

#43 – Sky

Tony doesn't realize just how much stronger McGee is than he looks until he's flat on his back with a throbbing jaw, the sky spinning above him; Tim is, of course, immediately horrified at what he did, but Tony doesn't really blame him – he'll certainly never insult McGee's typing speed again, and he'll definitely never look at McGee's hands the same way, either.

#44 – Heaven

He thinks he's died and gone to heaven when he opens his eyes and McGee is kneeling above him looking ethereal in the early morning sun, calling his name -- Gibbs really gets a kick out of that one; As do McGee, Ziva, Abby, Ducky, Palmer and, most unfortunately, Vance.

#45 – Hell

Hell isn't nearly losing Tony to a disease that the world should have seen the last of half a century ago; Hell is nearly losing Tony to a woman that Tony actually, honest to God loves and not being willing to stop it because Tony could be happy.

#46 – Sun

Saturday morning the sun peeks through the window and he's still there.

#47 – Moon

Tony doesn't think he'll ever laugh again until he's out cruising the town with an already tipsy McGee who's desperate enough to see him smile that he shifts in the passenger seat when a car full of rowdy teens passes by, wiggles out of his pants and gives them a show that Tony might not mind seeing himself; Tony doesn't stop laughing until they're back at McGee's and even though he's out of breath he's still trying to kiss Tim senseless.

#48 – Waves

Tony crashes in and out of his life, throttles him with angry words and moments so tender and truths so painful that he'd drown if Tony weren't there to keep him afloat.

#49 – Hair

It's not the big puppy dog eyes or the 'come hither and fuck me' pout that pushes Tony over the edge, but the mussed up, 'yeah I didn't go home last night and no I don't care who knows,' combed through with an idle hand in the car ride over hair that has him gawking at his desk and making mental notes to a. delete all females from Probie's contact list and b. work to replicate said situation as quickly as possible, in his own bed, under his own circumstances.

#50 – Supernova

When McGee compares their relationship to a supernova, Tony slaps him upside the head harder than is possibly necessary, because, he says, and McGee is honestly amazed that Tony knows this at all, supernovae are hot and bright and beautiful and then they're over – what they have is hot, yeah (definitely yeah) and bright and beautiful, but McGee won't know the definition of persistence until he tries to break it off with Tony, and McGee is pretty satisfied with that.