Farwell, My Cornollio


Patrick Moore

Daria Morgendorffer looked at the slacker teens of Highland High, as she sighed in their disgrace. For the past few years there, she learned that most teen will become idiots or worse.

She turned to two teenagers who were grunting and laughing, as the teen on the left picked his nose with his finger. He wore a Metalica shirt, and short red pants. She could see the braces on his teeth covered with remains of nachos. Butt-Head just laughed.

"You two are worthless," said Daria to Beavis and Butt-Head.

"Who asked you, Diarrhea?" laughed Butt-Head.

"And, I wonder why you two won't get any," sighed the cynic. "I just wanted to tell you cretins that next week will be my last day here in Highland High."

"Are you going to score?" Beavis asked.

"No, butt munch, Daria's pregnant," corrected Butt-Head.

"What?!" Daria spoke in shock. "I'm leaving Highland, stupid. My family is moving to some place called Lawndale. Didn't Mr. Van Dreisen tell you yesterday?"

Beavis and Butt-Head just glared into space.

"Never mind," said Daria.

"Listen up, slackers," said Mr. Buzzcut, as he entered the classroom. "You morons should know that our own Daria Morgendorffer is leaving us next week. I want you peons to give respect to Daria, as she and her bimbo of a sister move away from you idiots as soon as possible. That includes you, Beavis and Butt-Head."

"My sister isn't a bimbo, you Lee R. Remy want to be," Daria gritted her teeth under her breath. "The sooner I leave, the soon I'm away from that jackass drill sergeant."

Daria frowned at what Buzzcut called her, like moron and idiot. She could have stood up at Buzzcut, but she didn't. She vision that Buzzcut was roasting in Hell with the other evil people like Hitler and Stalin.

"Daria!" Buzzcut shouted, as Daria woke up from space. "Why don't you tell the class about next week's party in your honor, when you leave us?"

"Look, I don't feel like talking right now, Mr. Buzzcut," said Daria.

"Very well then, Ms. Morgendorffer," replied Buzzcut, as he turned to the class. "Time for a pop quiz, you little brats!"

Daria just sat there, as Buzzcut passed the quiz papers around. She could have told Buzz cut a thing or two, but she just sat there doing nothing.

"Daria, I want to talk to you after school," said Buzzcut.

"So you can insult my intelligence some more?" Daria asked.

"Just meet me after school, Ms. Morgendorffer," replied the teacher.

"Diarrhea's in trouble," said Butt-Head.

"Diarrhea Cha-Cha-Cha," replied Beavis.

"Shut the hell up, you nitwits," said Daria, as she began writing on her quiz paper

To Be Continued…