Setting: Alternate Universe. Naruto crossover with Harry Potter. A focus on Team Seven and how being eighteen-years-old (and stupid hot) influence their libido.

Premise: Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke are at Hogwarts for a mission but what about Kakashi? After all, Team Seven isn't complete without their sensei...NaruSakuSasuKaka. Flirting abound. (Ahem. As in a love-square. Polygamy a go-go!)

Warning: C-C-Crack. Inappropriate innuendo coupled with flirty bedroom eyes (insert eyebrow waggle). Very pro!Kakashi story (What can I say? I'm a Kakashi fangirl and I've been dying to write something like this :D). Nonsensical-ness; there's no plot, just reaction.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto or Harry Potter franchises.


Sakura (deadly beauty), eighteen and pulling at the hem of her Hufflepuff insignia-adorned blouse (it still wasn't fitting over her chest right), skimmed over her homework with a practiced eye. Although she wasn't a Gryffindor, no one questioned her presence at the latter table, especially when Naruto (charismatic charm) gave the naysayers the evil stink eye.

Though admittedly, he had a harder time placating his housemates when their Slytherin teammate slid next to him. It also didn't help that Sasuke (powerful elegance) was still as antisocial as ever and had a penchant to scoff rudely at the Gryffindors' more inane comments...

...Which was pretty much every other sentence.

"I'm tellin' ya, Sasu-bastard, one of these days your face is gonna be stuck like that if ya keep glaring," said Naruto as he nudged his teammate, chortling.

Quietly, the Uchiha stared back at Naruto with his classic 'you're insufferable, idiot' look mixed with fond exasperation.

And Sakura, she didn't miss a beat even with her mint-jade eyes focused on the Potions essay in her hands. "Stop baiting Sasuke-" The 'kun' was dropped for a pause. "-And eat your breakfast, Naruto. Class is going to start in fifteen."

"Don't even know why we bother..." grumbled the blond in low undertones. "...Thought I left the Academy crap behind, yanno...?"

Their medic-nin frowned at Naruto's indiscretion and hissed, "Shut up, idiot. We don't need the whole school finding out."

"But Sasuke, you agree, don't ya?" prodded their future Hokage.

Glancing from Sakura to Naruto and then back at Sakura, Sasuke shrugged, opting for neutral grounds, "...Maybe."

"Not maybe. We're totally overqualified for this-"

Sasuke unceremoniously stepped on Naruto's toes to shut him up.

Adding to this measure, Sakura leaned over the table, shirt revealing a shadow of cleavage, and slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Your ego is showing." A prominent vein traced along Sakura's temple pulsed with each grind of molars. "We don't have a choice in this and that's that."

A mission's a mission.

Pouting, Naruto leaned away from Sakura and grumbled, "Yea, yea...Still can't believe they tricked us into believing that this is an S-ranked though."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sakura's hand twitched.

Naruto huffed, "Whatever. Hey, Sasu-bastard, you finishing that muffin-?"

"There's plenty left in the baskets."

"Yeaaa but it looks better on your plate."




"Come on."





Sasuke closed his eyes, resigned, and pushed his plate towards Naruto.

"Yea-ha!" The blond attacked the muffin with vigour.

Releasing a soft breath, Sasuke averted his eyes from Naruto. He didn't want to think about how Naruto had him wrapped around his little pinky. Instead he took time to scan their surroundings and noticed the squealing female Gryffindor gradually progressing towards Sakura from behind.

The last Uchiha signed their Code discreetly behind the cover of a napkin. Sakura. Six-o-clock.

And no sooner did he warn his teammate, Lavender Brown, flouncing, stole the seat beside the kunoichi and gushed avidly, "Nice try, Sakura, really-"


"Don't play dumb. Everybody in Hogwarts knows now..." The Gryffindor shared a sly smile. "Why didn't you tell us about your other friend?"

Sakura smiled apologetically, flicking back pink hair. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Naruto, on the other hand, became defensive. "Oi. Whaddya mean other friend?!"

Sasuke crossed his arms and waited patiently, eyes trained upon the witch.

Lavender basked under their attention. She simpered, "Oh you know, the one who arrived today, at the end of November, instead of at the start of school year..."

The triad shared one thought. Another ninja?

Sasuke asked curtly, "What do they look like?"

"Well I don't know what they put in that water you drink back home but d-damn...the-the-the...O-o-oh..." The female adolescent suddenly paled, cheeks burning a Weasley red.

"Hey! You alright?" Naruto tilted his head and nearly jumped out of his seat when Lavender fainted.

Beside her, Sakura wasn't fairing any better. Her mouth had formed a delicate, surprised 'o'.

Naruto, alarmed, spotted Sakura's widening eyes and glanced at Sasuke for support who was just as confused.

With one finger pointed accusingly, Sakura finally choked out, "Y-You-!"

"What are you talking about, Sakura-?" Naruto scratched his head, confused. "Me?"

Sasuke hissed under his breath and was about to turn around when-

"Me." A warm voice weaved with good humour rumbled right behind Sasuke and Naruto; this same person caught Sasuke's head before he could turn around and they ruffled his hair. "Mind if I join you guys?"

Without waiting for a response, Kakashi Hatake squeezed into the bench seat between his two ex-students. With glee, he started to heap food onto his plate only to be stalled when it was Sasuke's fork that stabbed his utensil into submission.

There was a lengthy silence, a silence where Kakashi waited pleasantly for Sasuke to remove his dominating hold. Finally he spoke up, smiling (Dimples! There were dimples!), "You know, it's a bit rude…"

Naruto gaped at him. Sakura felt faint-headed. Sasuke averted his eyes to the table under Kakashi's cheerful scrutiny.

(Charismatic charm. Deadly beauty. Powerful elegance. All cowed under his flaunt and taunt.)

Teenage Kakashi Hatake chuckled at his students' expense – unmasked, relaxed, blasé, and exuding sex appeal.

His Hogwarts cloak was emblazoned with the Ravenclaw crest and it pooled over a slight physique that promised further development. Silver-white hair – a bit longer than he usually wore it – was swept messily to the left side of his face, hiding the tanned scar that traced down his closed Sharingan eye. The clean white shirt was half open, the tie missing, exposing a pale neck and a strange birthmark on his quite prominent collarbone.

(But if they thought about it, the 'birthmark' also resembled a small rash...or maybe it was a hickey. Even resident medic-nin Sakura, analyzing their sensei under the henge, was stumped...

...Or maybe she just didn't want to consider sexual relations and sensei in the same train of thought.)

Shifting in his seat, Kakashi sighed, lips parted softly (he acted; they watched), and waited for his ex-students (admirers) to speak. And as he squirmed (slid closer to the welcoming embrace of his Team Seven), three pairs of eyes tracked the gaudy orange cover of his soft-core Icha Icha Paradise that was sticking out of his cloak pocket.

It suddenly became much, much more than a distracting prop.

-Especially with the devilish gleam in his eye when the owner of said mentioned book smiled (smirked). He had a disarming handsomeness that warranted a second look and a smooth baritone voice that naturally coated and enunciated every word he spoke.

He was...mesmerizing. (Veela?)

("That...That effect he has..." whispered Sakura to Naruto later that day. "I...I had to remember to breathe.")

Sasuke's mind skipped forward, numbly connecting logic and ninja arts, and he frowned. Genjutsu?

(Eyes twinkling, Kakashi grinned knowingly.)

A hand shot up and shuttered Sasuke's eyes close to prevent the activation of the Sharingan. They could hear the sing-song laughter in their sensei's words. "Nu-uh. No cheating, Sasuke-kun. What if I wasn't wearing any clothes under this henge?"

Blinded, Sasuke felt the dull warmth from the fingers covering his eyes.

(Conversely, Kakashi could feel the heat of blood pooling in the Uchiha's cheeks.)

Voicing a calmness that he didn't feel, Sasuke bristled, muttering, "...Pervert..."

Sakura mumbled, wide-eyed, "S-S-Sensei…"

Lidded eyes, turning their attention from the midnight to spring-bright, gazed at Sakura thoughtfully and he asked (purred), "Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"I...I...That is..."

"Y-Yea Sakura. Tell him," mumbled Naruto as he swallowed loudly.

It was obvious to Sasuke that Sakura and Naruto were shocked dumb (he could see sweat prickling Naruto's brow) and so he took it upon himself to be their voice, asking the prudent questions. Prying the (ohsowarmwarmhothotter) hand covering his eyes, Sasuke grumbled, "What are you doing here?"

The man tapped a thoughtful finger against curling lips. "I couldn't let you three have all the fun. Besides, Headmaster Snape needed someone in Ravenclaw so I…'volunteered'."

Ravenclaw? Voluntary? They twitched. Kakashi Hatake was certainly not the 'volunteering to babysit snot-nosed brat' material.

And as if he knew their collective thoughts, Kakashi tilted his head to the side, leaning his body against poor Sasuke's shoulder. He distracted Sakura with an accidental brush of his foot against her leg in extended contact. He favored Naruto with a bright smile.

They stiffened, muscles tensed, just as the boy-man spoke, "Someone had to make sure you three stayed out of trouble so I chose the next best thing, neh. Now I can mingle with you guys a lot easier."

Ah. So he came here to watch us watch the students. Great. Sasuke's eyes seem brighter-set when his face pinked. More…distractions.

Naruto's voice, which filled out quite nicely when he reached sixteen, pitched up an octave as he questioned, "So, uh, Kakashi-sensei…"

"Hm?" Attentive, he gazed at the blond by his other side, leaning in closer.

"Are you gonna-uh-stay here for the rest of the year?"

"Yes Naruto," answered Kakashi kindly, glibly, eyes and mouth curving. He then remarked equally amiable, "And I'd appreciate it if you'd take that wandering hand of yours off my thigh."

"It's edging a bit too close...If you know what I mean."