A/N: I own all Twilight/Aladdin crossovers. Reviewers get emailed porn.


By Anonymous

It was a cold dank alleyway that Edward saw his parents murdered in. He felt personally responsible for their deaths. His father had basically owned all of Tehran City through his Persian Rug enterprise.

It was like he had entered a new beginning. A whole new world.

Edward awoke from his nightmare and looked out the window. He was battered and bruised from his secret life of crime fighting and his regular life as playboy and guy with no chin who dates Kim Basinger.

He didn't want to date her; he secretly had the hots for this girl named Bella-Jasmine who had caught his eye when she dressed up as a cat at his Halloween Ball last October. But Bella-Jasmine was the King's daughter, and Edward was merely a multi-billionaire with an impeccable moral code.

He sighed. The sun had set and it was time to go defeat some kitschy bad guys, but his lethargy was halted as he noticed a symbol in the sky.

It was the symbol of the bat.

"TO THE BATRUG!" he screamed, before noticing the Batrug was on the floor before him. It rose and he climbed aboard. A flying carpet was not an ideal mode of transport when fighting crime and actually greatly improved Edward's chances of dying whilst in battle. The incongruity of the rug annoyed him.

Edward used the Batrug to take himself to Commissioner Abu.

"It's Princess Bella-Jasmine!" cried the Commissioner "she's been abducted by The Penguin, the king's most loyal consult! And the king has been BRAINWASHED! And The Penguin wants to force marriage on Bella-Jasmine!"

Edward gasped in horror. He could never beat The Penguin! He was at least 4 feet high and had a really intimidating voice.

He made his way to the Royal Palace, where the marriage was to take place.

BOOM!

KAPOW!

THUD!

And the battle was won.

"I will take you away with me" said Edward to Bella-Jasmine "I hope you find Robin Williams amusing, he lives in my kitchen"

And with that the two lovebirds escaped on the Batrug and lived happily ever after.