Ch 1. How It Started

Angela called me and asked for a favor. She was sick and her little cousin was having a birthday. Angela wasn't going to be able to get out to the store could I please pick something up and she'll pay me back. Of course, was my answer. I didn't know then that I should have refused.

Edward didn't want me to go alone. I reminded myself that he loved me and not to get to irritated at his over protectiveness… but really… What could go wrong at a Super Walmart? Emmett hearing of our trip and overcome with boredom had to come too. Rosalie wasn't going to be left behind by Emmett. Alice wanted to see if a Super Walmart had better clothes than a regular Walmart. Jasper certainly wasn't going to stay home alone. So that was that. We split into two cars and drove through the pouring rain to spend some quality time at everyone's favorite retail store.

I decided to keep it simple, and headed straight to the Barbie aisle… with Emmett in tow. Jasper wanted to check out electronics and Edward had little interest in the aisle of the world of pink. Alice and Rosalie went to look through clothes and accessories.

Although I knew to expect it, I was still a little shocked by the Barbie aisle. It was so pink it seemed to be glowing… Maybe it was. I looked at Emmett. The look on his face… I had seen it before.

"Um, Emmett, maybe you should go catch up with Jasper and Edward…" I suggested.

He grinned at me. "No way, Bella. I promised Edward I'd take care of you. Besides, what kind of big brother would I be, if I left my little sister all alone?"

I sighed. Then I silently prayed to whoever would listen.

I began sifting through the dolls. There was a lot to sift through. This one looked like a prostitute. Inappropriate for a seven year old. That one was wearing a bikini. Like her parents would appreciate giving the little one that idea. This one was a veterinarian. Did I really feel like buying the accessories that went with her?

"Hey Bella, this one is pretty!" Emmett shocked me.

Was he really trying to be helpful?

I looked over. He was holding up a Barbie in a big green flowing glitter gown with her blonde hair all up in little curls.

"No, Emmett. Those ones are all collectibles, we should get something she can play with." He looked disappointed so I added for good measure, "Good eye though." He brightened a little.

I moved further down the aisle when I heard the sound I'd been dreading. A deep chuckle. Slowly I turned.

The opposite shelf from the Barbie dolls was all accessories. Some of which were so the little girl could play dress up with their Barbie. Emmett had slipped on a handful of hot pink Mardi Gras beads. A white sunhat with big pink flowers. A pink cape with glitter trim that barely reached his lower back. In one hand he held a pink hand bag and in the other was a long wand that lit up when the button was pushed.

"What do you think? Pink my color?" He asked.

"Emmett, stop it!" I gasped, horrified, knowing it was a lost cause. This would get worse before it got better.

"Lighten up Bella," he said grinning wider. "You know what this reminds me of?"

I tried to ignore him. I turned back to the dolls. Maybe if I didn't indulge him he'd stop. I bent down to get a better look at the bottom shelf. Emmett's icy breath was suddenly at my ear.

"C'mon Barbie, lets go party," he whispered in my ear.

I toppled over in surprise taking about two dozen pink boxes with me. On my hands in knees I looked up in horror.

Emmett had started to sway from side to side. He cleared his throat theatrically.

Then in an a high pitched voice he began to sing. " I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie wo-orld. Life in plastic… it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere-ere. Imagination… life is your creation!" Then making his voice lower and rougher, "C'mon Barbie, lets go party!"

"Emmett please…" I begged.

His voice went back to high pitched, and worse still…it grew in volume. "I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie wo-orld. Life in plastic… it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere-ere. Imagination… life is your creation!"


His dancing was getting more and more active. Now he wasn't just swaying. He was leaping from foot to foot and spinning while he did so.

"I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world… Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your doll-y." He switched back to the mans voice. "You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink, kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky…"

My hand clapped over my mouth as he stopped spinning to do a couple of groin thrusts.

"You'll get us in trouble!" But it was too late. He was in full swing now.

"You can touch… you can play-ay… if you say, I'm always yours," Again the volume increased. Where was Edward? Rosalie? No way they couldn't hear this.

Then suddenly he was literally in full swing. He started to swing dance. He grabbed me up from the floor and started to use me as an unwilling partner.

As he swung my legs from one side to the other, he started in on the chorus again, "I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie wo-orld…" I noticed we had attracted attention. A couple of little girls stood giggling and pointing at us at the end of the aisle. My face felt like it was going to melt off when an angry grandmother shot us a dirty look and ushered the little girls away.

What Emmett clearly didn't anticipate was that Super Walmart, had super security.

Emmett was cheerfully skipping after the rent-a-cop, my hand clamped tightly in his. I grabbed his arm with my free hand for added support as my feet kept tripping over each other in the attempt to keep up.

The security office was a bit crowded. Alice and Edward were seated in the only two chairs available. She was frowning. He had his head bowed into his hands. He glanced up looked at us, shook his head, and recovered his face. Rosalie was leaning against the wall with arms crossed and her lips pouted. Jasper was pressed into the far corner his eyes focused intently on the ceiling tiles. The head of security was sitting at his desk looking outraged. The guard who brought me and Emmett in went to stand behind the one at the desk.

Emmett tossed a carefree arm around my shoulders.

I was accused of vandalism despite the fact that knocking over the boxes of Barbie's had been an accident on my part.

Emmett, well, quite obviously disturbing the peace.

Alice was being accused of sexual harassment. Apparently the other shoppers didn't appreciate energetic pixies offering unwanted assistance in the dressing rooms.

Edward "exposed" himself. He was literally caught with his pants down. In his defense his boxer shorts were still on so he wasn't exposed exposed, and technically that too was Alice's fault. A fashion experiment gone horribly wrong.

Rosalie threatened the clerk at the jewelry counter with bodily harm in a dispute over a necklace that was overpriced.

Jasper, with a armful of video games for his XBOX, didn't notice the man on the speeding scooter until it was too late. Jasper tried to leap out of the way, but caught off guard his rock hard head hit, and went through, the screen of a TV mounted on the wall. Seeing as human heads aren't hard enough to go through a TV screen, nobody believed he accidentally broke it.

Carlisle and Esme were called.

And Charlie.

And the irate store manager.

That's how the six of us got sent to therapy. Kids our age should know better. And since none of us had records the manger agreed not to press charges if…

I rode home in the cruiser with Charlie who was a deep shade of maroon and yelling. I sat in back, behind the shield, like the criminal I was becoming. After twenty minutes he was forced to take a breath.

"So what do you have to say for yourself?" He demanded, his chest heaving.

I thought hard but came up blank. The words escaped my lips before I could stop them. In a whisper I found myself saying, "I just wanted to buy a Barbie."