By My Side – by BandGeek99

I was in Godspell Jr. this past summer with my theater program and our director had us put in this song from Godspell (not Jr. but the actual Godspell). It was performed by three siblings in our company, two sisters and a brother. They sang with only an acoustic guitar, and it sounded beautiful.

The first time I heard this song in rehearsal, I immediately thought of Trisha and Hoenhiem. I don't know why, maybe because the singer describes someone very important to them leaving… And since Trisha died of a broken heart, longing after him…

It just made sense to me.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!



Trisha Elric's warm green eyes slowly fluttered open as she felt the mattress shift beneath her. She watched her husband in mild confusion, not sure what he was doing up so early.

It was dawn, it seemed, from the light peeking through the thin drapery. Hoenhiem had never woken this early before; it confused her slightly.

He didn't notice she had woken and continued dressing. Holding his hands in front of his face, he sighed dejectedly, rubbing his left arm and wincing slightly.

Trisha was puzzled. If his arm hurt, why hadn't he told her? He knew she would help him, heal it as best she could. And with two troublemaking sons, Trisha knew much about mending wounds.

Hoenhiem quietly pulled some of his clothes out of the dresser and carried them to a carpet bag that rested open on a chair in the corner.

Hoenhiem… What are you doing? Are you leaving? Don't leave me…Trisha thought desperately, moaning a little in her half-asleep state in protest.

Her husband let out a small gasp and spun around, trying to find who made the noise, before relaxing, seeing only his wife. He smiled at her weakly before his face became etched with worry. "Trisha…" he murmured quietly.

Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?

She rolled over onto her back a bit more, squinting slightly with a frown on her lovely face.

Hoenhiem's small smile returned and he strode back towards her, pushing some stray hair out of her face and kissing her.

She felt the urgency of it, the sorrow, the remorse. And it confused her.

He finally pulled away, placing his forehead on hers and taking her hand. "I love you, Trisha. I love you so much."

I love you too…Don't go…

He finally pulled away from her, leaving one last kiss on the forehead, and picked up his carpet bag, heading towards the door.

Trisha felt tears well up in her eyes as her gaze followed him. Her hand and her heart felt strangely empty as she watched him walk away.

For my hand is cold
And needs warmth
Where are you going?

He paused at the door and turned to look at her with his rich, golden eyes, an unfathomable pain swirling within them. "I'm so sorry. I love you."

They were the last words he'd ever say to her again.

She managed okay, for a while. Her two boys kept her happy, kept her on her feet, made her get out of bed every morning and face the day.

But every evening, she felt herself standing outside the door, looking to the train station at the far side of the valley near Risembool. At sunset, she could almost see him trudging up the road, smiling widely like he used to, saying "Sorry, sorry, I meant to be home earlier…"

But he was never there.

Trisha longed to be with him, and she sighed deeply when she thought of how they used to roam the countryside together, before they had Edward. In the sunset, at twilight, the land seemed to sink into the blue of the forest's many trees at the bottom of a gently sloping hill. It was their spot, the place they'd been to so many times together.

Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you

Every day got harder and harder. Whenever Ed or Alphonse would come home with another statue they had transmuted, her heart clenched in pain. They tried so hard to make her happy…

…but it only reminded her of him.

Every day she dreamed of seeing him again, until she remembered a time when Alphonse was only an infant. They were in fear of loosing their house, as money around the country was tight.

"Don't forget, Trisha," he'd told her. "Things are never as bad as they first appear. If you need to, put a stone in your shoe. It'll remind you to keep moving forward, as long as you have two strong legs to carry you. It doesn't matter what happens, as long as you can keep going on."

It was a lesson she'd drilled into her son's heads from the day she recalled the lesson.

But she took his advice and placed a small pebble in her shoe. It wasn't large, but it was big enough to remind her to keep skipping the road, to dare herself to move forward.

Let me skip the road with you
I can dare myself
I can dare myself
I'll put a pebble in my shoe
And watch me walk
I can walk and walk!

She decided to call the pebble Dare. It was a silly nickname, but if it kept her moving on, if it could remind her of him, then she'd keep calling the small stone that until the day she died.

I shall call the pebble Dare
We will talk about walking
Dare shall be carried.

But that day came far too soon.

The doctor's didn't quite know what to call it. But after about six months of silently battling whatever disease it was, Trisha had had enough.

It had been five years since he'd left. She couldn't bear it. Not even raising Edward and Alphonse were enough to keep her going anymore. She'd taught them all she knew they'd need to know; courtesy, the ways of God, and to look after one another.

"Edward…" she'd told him, two weeks after she'd been confined to her bed. "Please… my shoes…"

"Momma, you can't go anywhere! You won't get well!" Alphonse protested as Edward nodded fervently beside his brother.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured her youngest, ruffling his hair with her long, pale fingers. "I… just need my shoes…"

Edward stood from his seat on the stool he kept beside his ill mother's bed and ran out of the room to fetch her shoes. He returned a minute later, looking rather puzzled, extending his arm to his mother.

She took the left shoe, the one she knew held Dare, and plucked him from the toe. Dropping the shoe, she smiled tiredly. "Meet your new road," she said quietly before turning to her sons. "Take this. Take this wherever you go."

"Why, Momma?" Alphonse asked, grabbing the pebble and her hand.

"So you never forget to keep moving on. Never forget to go forward," she said, smiling at them.

"Never," Edward promised, nodding with fierce determination burning in his eyes.

Trisha closed her eyes.

And when we both have had enough
I will take him from my shoe, singing:
"Meet your new road!"

She saw so much of Hoenhiem in Edward. So much it was painful.

But the pain seemed to float away as she remembered how he held her. How much she loved him. How she knew she'd see him again, in heaven.

"Edward… would you… transmute a ring of flowers…? Your father… used to make them for me all the time," she said bitterly, picturing him in her mind's eye.

He reached out to her, smiling, laughing the way her used to, his eyes crinkling behind his thin glasses. Hoenhiem of Light. The beacon of her whole being.

Then I'll take your hand
Finally glad
That you are here
By my side

She was finally with him, finally, after so long. Beside him. After all, that was all she wanted. To be by his side.

Years later, he returned to Risembool, hoping, however half-heartedly, that his family would be waiting. His sons would be fine young men, his wife would be standing in the doorway with a smile like she always had been.

But it was never meant to be. She was never meant to be by his side ever again.

By my side
By my side

That you are here
By my side.


Well. That certainly was depressing on my part. (I seem to write a lot of depressing FMA stuff, don't I…?)

Anyhoo, please review. I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism.

If you really want to get the full effect of this story, look up the song. Its from Godspell, as I mentioned earlier, and its beautiful when performed acoustically, either on piano (as I play it) or on guitar.

Jeez… I've just realized… I write an awful lot of songfics to musicals, don't I? Hm…

Anyway, thanks for reading!