Summary: Serenity accompanies Nephrite, who is in wolf form, to take a stroll so he can get some fresh air. You see Nephrite is sick and it is hilarious how a stuffy nose causes a funny argument.
Defend a Male To Me by Cloud9WithSugar
". . .So?" Amused, Serenity watched the wolf Nephrite exhale and puff.
"So?!? So help him!" Nephrite barked in her head. Serenity shot him a dirty look. She looked at the man lying on the floor with disdainful eyes. They swept over him and lingered on the crimson spots on his back and his left side.
A mischievous glint shone in her eyes.
"But he's male" she replied, shrugging. The wolf huffed. "What?" he started, "Are you afraid he'll wake up and attack you?"
"Of course not" she answered simply. "I'm afraid helping him would make me waste valuable time on a . . . Male" She saw the wolf imitate a very human looking frown from the corner of her eye.
He growled. "You won't help him because he's a male? You would have helped him if he was a female?"
Serenity nodded at him. "Of course, females are useful, males are not."
"Males are useful too!" He snapped. "How?" She challenged.
"Help him! I would help him myself but you know as well as I do that if I transform now, when I am sick to the bone and have no energy, not only will I not be able to help him, you would have to help me!" Nephrite snarled. He saw Serenity shake her head. Disbelief colored his face.
"First tell me how males are useful." She ordered crossing her arms. The wolf yapped.
"You cannot be serious!" Serenity stared at him expectantly. "But he's dying!"
"You're only wasting time" she sang.
Nephrite glared at her.
"Children. . ." he barked "we supply the . . ." he was interrupted by Serenity's unlady like snort.
"Oh please, a minute of your please causes us poor females nine months of uncontrollable bladder function and eighteen years void of any personal time" Nephrite rolled his eyes.
"We love and cherish you-. ." " . . Until someone else catches your eye" she snapped.
Nephrite snarled. "AND", Serenity pushed him with her foot. ". . .Not to mention you are greedy, take advantage of women, love power, cannot live without sex and will do absolutely anything for money and-" "Alright Alright" he barked.
Serenity beamed at him. He put a paw on the unconscious man's shoulder. "Well, aren't you going to help him?" he asked, shaking the man.
She shrugged. "You failed to tell me what good males are for" Nephrite growled. "So you're just going to leave him here? To die?"
Serenity met Nephrites eyes. "There is another way . . . . "She hinted. The wolf hissed.
"Fine" he barked loudly, ". . . Men are no good fools who pollute the earth and mistreat the goddesses of this fair planet. No will you please help him?"
"Okay" she said. With one sweeping motion Serenity turned the unconscious man over so that he lay on is back. Leaning down she slapped him across the face, causing him to stir.
"What are you DOING? HE'S HURT!" yelped Nephrite. "No he's not Nephrite" replied Serenity calmly.
She smirked and pointed to the crushed red berries at the man's side. "I told you it'd be useless to transform into your wolf form with your horrible cold. Your nose is so stuffy you couldn't even distinguish between the smell of dried blood on his shirt and berries. "
She laughed at the astonished look on the wolf's face.
He barked angrily at her. "You lied!" "Nope, I simply chose not to correct your mistake"
"You know Serenity" began Nephrite. "Men may be 'useless' but women ARE bitches" he commented.
They were currently on the way back to the village. Serenity had woken the man up and helped him gather the rest of his uncrushed berries before sending him on his way.
Serenity giggled and patted Nephrite on the head. "Right you are my stupid gullible friend."
(If you didn't understand, because Nephrite is in wolf form and Serenity is not, he talks to her with the use of telepathy while she just answers out loud. )
Helllooooooooooooo. This just popped into my head while I was playing with my cat (I GOT A CAT!!) and I really wanted to post it. YAAAYYYYY
ANNNDDDDD reviews are appreciated. And while you're at it. . . . . tell me what you thought about Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (the movie of course, we all know the book was awesome) and what you think about TRUE BLOOD (whether you wanna comment about the show or the books. OH SWEET ERIC)
Oh and before I forget I wanted to thank everybody who read Over, and Over and Over and supported it in OtakuOnlineStop. BYE BYE