Jack bit back a moan and fisted his hands in Ianto's hair. Just because guest was fast asleep in the bunkers didn't mean they could be loud and obnoxious. If anything, they had to be even quieter than usual, as the Hub often had unusual echoes. But his lover drew him even deeper into his mouth, making it harder and harder to concentrate on keeping quiet.
Suddenly, a familiar sound filled the air. Ianto released Jack with a soft pop and looked around. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked
"TARDIS?" Jack's voice was high-pitched and breathless. When Ianto nodded, he replied, "Yeah, that's the TARDIS." He swore in frustration. "I'm starting to think it's a family tradition for them to interrupt things of a sexual nature."
The TARDIS was still materialising in his office when Jack abruptly pulled himself up from his desk chair and yanked up his trousers. Ianto catapulted to his feet and sat on the edge of the desk, wiping his mouth hurriedly. By the time the TARDIS finished her ancient song, they were the very models of propriety.
The TARDIS sat quietly in a corner of the Hub and Jack and Ianto looked at each other in mingled confusion and concern when no one appeared. Normally after Muri stayed over night with Jack, Rose would come rushing out immediately, eager to see her daughter after spending time apart. Jack moved cautiously towards the police box, pulling out the key he always carried, but before he reached the TARDIS, a loud thud emanated from the ship, followed by a muffled giggle.
Jack chuckled as the door flew open and Rose staggered out and fell into his arms, still giggling. He picked her up by the waist and whirled her around. The Doctor swaggered out behind his amused lover and leaned against the TARDIS doors, arms folded, with a smug look upon his face.
"You two have no idea how happy we are to see you," Ianto said fervently.
Jack held Rose at arms length and looked her over. "Is that a Lady Paprika De La Rousche ball gown?" When Rose nodded, Jack groaned with envy. "I don't know how many times I tried to get her to design something for me but she never would. You are so lucky!"
"And who is this Lady Paprika?" Ianto asked.
"Only the most highly decorated Rouschean Guru of the 60th century," Jack explained. He tucked Rose under his arm and turned towards Ianto. "Paprika and her brothers inherited the family business and started making their own designs. But then her planet was decimated by war in the late 59th century. They eventually won but the suffering was terrible. There was little food and clothing. Paprika was inspired to create beautiful designs from the tattered rags. 'Making beauty out of adversity' was her big campaign slogan. The proceeds went to help rebuild her planet."
"It doesn't look very ball gown-ish," Rose commented, looking down at her dress. "But, you know what they say… different time periods, different customs." She looked around. "Where's my little girl?"
"Mummy!" a little voice squealed and almost instantly Muri was plastered to her mother's side. "Da!" she cried, grabbing her father's jacket to pull him into a three-way hug.
Jack moved away to let the family have their reunion. Suddenly Muri pulled back and scowled up at her mother. "You two smell funny," she said, wrinkling her nose. Her eyes lit up. "Can we name him Simon Tam Tyler?"
"Who?" Rose asked questioningly. "Did you lot get her a new pet while we were gone or something?" She looked suspiciously at Jack and Ianto.
"Da said anytime you two smell funny it means you're trying to make a baby so I should leave you alone unless it's an emergency like someone is dead, dying, regenerating, or bleeding profusely… Please, Mummy, please, please? May we name him Simon?" Muri grabbed her Mum's hand and tugged her into the TARDIS, slamming the door shut behind them.
The Doctor chuckled affectionately. "Thanks," he said with a smile.
"Anytime," Jack said with a salute. "Although, you may want to have a talk with her about timing and interrupting adults doing adult oriented things."
"Ah. Yes. She knows," the Doctor said with a nod. "Had a talk with her before we dropped her off, actually. She said that the reason she interrupts is because she doesn't like the smell of the pheromones. She's a wee Time Lady with Time Lady abilities… what can we do?" He rolled his eyes and grinned before returning to the TARDIS.
As the police box began to dematerialise, Jack smirked and put an arm around Ianto's waist. "Oh well, it's better that she not like them for now I guess. If she started liking them we'd need a Sontarian Battle Fleet to keep the boys away." He looked at his lover and leaned in close to brush his lips over Ianto's. "Now… where were we?"