LES: And, now, as promised, the chick who wants to get with an Air Nomad monk at all costs!
Chapter II: How to Score in the Avatar World
It was a lovely, beautiful day in a small, once again, nameless town at the base of the Air Temple. Which Air Temple, you may ask? Well, I don't effing know! The game just calls it 'The Air Temple'. So I guess there is only one Air Temple, and the other three tumbled to the ground just because the game animators were too lazy to animate four Air Temples.
Aang and the group were actually there for a reason. Some psycho-bitch named Lian thought that she could destroy Aang's connection to the Avatar Spirit by destroying the statues of the past Avatars in the Air Temple. Of course, this plan was bull-shit, and everyone knew it but her. The statues are really nothing more than statues. But Aang was going to be damned if he let her destroy statues of himself. Not conceited at all, is he?
So, why were they hanging around in a small village rather than going to rescue the statues? It's really quite simple. Everyone knew that, unless there was a clock running in the corner of the screen, you had as much time as you wanted to complete tasks. They really could have flown five times around the world and still came back just in time to save the statues.
As if to make up for the fact that they have yet to go to Kyoshi, this was the place where Aang developed his group of fangirls. Practically everywhere they had gone, they had run into people just loved the Air Nomads… anything to do with them. The greatest of the fanatics seemed to have gathered where the Nomads had once lived. Even Mister McFoamy was there! It was an entire city of people who loved Airbenders!
Since their disastrous attempt to break into the Fire Nation Prison, they had gotten Katara back, and had been joined by Haru. And forgive the author if Haru really doesn't do anything, because she thinks it sucks that Toph couldn't be the Earthbending member of the party. We want our Toph back!
Uh… anyway. Aang was getting mobbed by a legion of Air Nomad fans. Sadly, the least innocent were the ones who wanted to touch him. The evil ones began to steal his clothes.
Well… at least we're at one of the Air Temples… maybe… the Eastern Temple… so I'll be able to get replacements… Aang thought to himself as a group of girls made off with his… poncho… thing. Whatever the hell that thing is. This is why I like his Avatar outfit better… easier to describe!
The Gang watched in amazement as the girls began to fight over the orange poncho, tearing it to pieces. "Wow… is it just me, or do these people have some sort of love affair going on with the Air Nomad culture?" Katara asked.
"Man…" Sokka moaned. "And here I thought you were joking when you said being an Airbender was a chick magnet." Needless to say, they had been running into the aftermath of that little adventure for some time. They had run into quite a few Firebenders, sporting Airbender tattoos, trying to pick up chicks. And from the looks of the girl posses, Airbender tattoos worked like a charm. "Maybe I should get some Airbender tattoos too…" Katara glared at Sokka, and he gulped. "Nevermind."
"Well, I think this is just stupid. You can't love someone based on their culture, but who they really are." Katara said.
"Gasp!" Legions of Zutara fans gasped, sensing one of their common arguments. Which, at least, is a little better than 'opposites attract'.
"Oh, shut up! I didn't mean it like that! Maybe I could love someone from the Fire Nation, but not an Emo whiny spoiled brat like Zuko!" Katara yelled at them, and they slinked off, vowing to bid their time until the Season Two finale.
"I meant that people liking Aang just because he's an Airbender is stupid."
"Oh, shut up, Katara. This is a humor fic, and this is getting much too serious!" Sokka said. "This is why you were cut out of the first chapter! You're no fun!"
Katara snorted. "I can so have fun!"
"Oh yeah, when was the last time you had fun?"
"I went penguin sledding with Aang!"
"Not in this game universe. Zuko attacked before you could."
"Shut up!!!" Katara yelled. "Man, I hate this game!"
"Join the club." Haru said. "This is my only line… maybe in the whole story."
"Shut up, Not-Toph. No one cares." Katara said. The Water Tribe girl sensed danger and saw that Aang was very close to getting strangled by a new legion of fangirls.
"Have my babies!" One screamed.
"Excuse me, how does that work?" Sokka asked, confused. "How could a male have a girl's babies?"
Katara ignored him, and went over to Aang, extracting him from the grip of his fangirls before they could kill him. Aang gasped heavily as soon as he was free, using Airbending to help fill his lungs. "Thanks, Katara. I thought I was going to be reincarnated for sure…"
"Not today." Katara said. "Let's go to the markets. We need to pick up random stuff for our journey and buy things that no sane adventurer would ever buy."
They all agreed, and set off down the street.
On one of the bridges, a woman leaned against the edge, looking up at the Air Temple above. She sighed, and then spoke loud enough for the Gang to hear. "I wish the Airbenders were still around. I bet I could get even an Air Nomad monk to break his vows of chastity…"
Aang paused in his tracks. That sounded a little familiar. Hadn't that one Fire Nation soldier speak about a woman who wanted to have sex with an Air Nomad monk at any costs? Could this be that woman?!?
Aang saw the look on Sokka's face out of the corner of his eye. Sokka remembered that conversation too, apparently. Aang moved so quickly it seemed like he teleported. He was suddenly at the woman's side. "Excuse me, Miss, but are you looking for an Air Nomad monk, because I happen to be one. And I haven't taken any chastity vows!"
Just as quickly, Katara shot over to them and grabbed Aang by his ear, pulling him away from the woman roughly.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Katara-a-ah! It was just a joke!" Aang cried out.
"Oh, yeah, really funny. Let's joke about no dinner tonight, you perverted monk!" Katara growled, dragging him away by the ear.
Everyone, including the woman, stared at what just happened, confused. And then Sokka scooted closer to the woman. "You know… I happen to be an Air Nomad monk too."
LES: Aang acts like a pervert and Sokka's desperate to meet new women… as if he needs any help with that. How many cannon ships does he have? Three? Four? (Ty Lee?) And don't tell me twelve year old boys can't be perverted, because I've seen plenty of them. They are usually just quieter about it than this… sneaking their dad's Playboys and stuff. And I think I've got a new running joke for this fic. Calling Haru "Not-Toph" because that's what I thought about him the whole time. So, from now on, he isn't Haru. He's Not-Toph! Another thing that I like about the Air Temple part, which I couldn't include, was while Aang was risking his lift to save the Avatar Statues, Katara, Sokka, and Not-Toph went to go find some crappy flag. Yeah, that really helped Aang a lot.