Castiel glared at the man before him, "What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here, I see inside you, your guilt, anger, confusion. It's killing you Dean. It kills all of you. It eats away at your heart"
Dean knew what the angel was talking about and he couldn't help himself from remembering one certain situation.
Fifteen year old Dean Winchester looked out onto the lake, it was so quiet, so peaceful…so beautiful, it felt as if he was the only one in the world. Dean picked up a rock that was beside him and threw it across the water watching the ripples form every time it hit the water. It was a beautiful sight.
It was actually a good place for Dean to cool down his nerves. He was so mad at his father. How could he do this? To him, to Sammy. How could he leave them like this? How could he and Sam survive alone for six months? Was this hunt really important that John left his sons alone for so long?
What kind of father would do something like this…John Winchester would.
Dean snapped out of it and looked at the angel, "I'm fine"
"You seem fine, but deep down inside, you feel terrible"
"No really Cas, I'm fine" Truth was, he wasn't fine, deep down inside he was hurting.
"Just as I expected"
Castiel shot daggers at Dean, and for once Dean could tell the angel was truly angry with him, "You're pathetic"
Dean stood his ground, "I am not"
"Yes you are, you don't care that your guilt it eating away at you. You're like father, driven to revenge, for all the wrong reasons"
Dean started at the angel in disbelief, "I'm nothing like my father!"
"That's how it appears to you, but you are Dean, and you will always be"
"My father was an obsessed bastard!" It was true, Dean remembered how hell bent his father was on chasing the demon that wrecked their lives.
"Look at you Dean, you're a Hollow shell of him, he turned you into his clone"
Dean felt his heart drop to the floor, he looked at the ground and then back at the angel with guilt on his face, "I'm sorry"
"I yelled at you"
"Don't apologize Dean"
Damn was the angel really mad at him?
"You shouldn't have to" Castiel Admitted.
Dean didn't say anything, he didn't want to.
"Life goes by fast, it's beautiful, but it can get ugly"
"Dude, all I've seen is ugly" Dean doubted that demons and monsters were pretty.
"Doesn't mean it will always be, think about what I see everyday"
"What do you see?"
"I've seen the death of everyone and everything"
Castiel looked down in horror as the man shot his wife and children, goodness the children weren't even five yet, but the father choose to kill them because they had no money. Castiel hung his head down in shame.
The fire swept through the forest in what seemed like a second, eliminating everything in its path. Castiel helplessly watched as a deer and her baby cry in agony as the fire consumed them.
The angel seemed to be in a daze, "Uh how does that help me?" Dean snapped his fingers.
The angel snapped out of it, "Were uh not so different Dean"
Dean scoffed, "Dude, you're and angel I'm a human"
"That's the only difference I see"
"Well it's quite a difference"
"Not much Dean"
"Huh let's see…angel vs. miserable human, hm" Did Castiel really think they were the same? The only thing he saw the same was that they were both warriors in this war, bound to sacrifice themselves for the greater good.
"Were not so different at all"
"Whatever" Cas just didn't see it the way he did"
"What's wrong" Castiel titled his head to the left.
"Nothing Cas, I'm done with talking about our misfortune, let's go save the word" In truth Dean just didn't want to hear it from the angel anymore.