I don't own Twilight. I put the story in italics to make it easier to understand. Enjoy:)

"Uncle Emmett?" Nessie asked.

"What's up, kiddo?" I asked.

"Can you tell me a bedtime story?"

"Where's your dad?"

"His stories are boring. I want you to tell me one."

"Well, alright. I guess I could tell you one."

"Yay! Thanks Uncle Emmett."

Now, what to tell? I know tons of scary stories. Nah, don't want to scare the poor kid to death. I could tell her one about me and Rose . . . nah, she's not old enough. I know!

"How bout I tell you a story about your mom, when she was still human?"

"No. I want to hear a made up story. A funny one."

A funny story. I can do funny. Most of my stories are funny. But most of them are inappropriate for such a young mind. Oh, I know what story I can tell her. It's one of the few I know that is funny and appropriate.

"Okay I've got one."

"Good." She hopped up onto my lap and waited for the story to start.

"Once upon a time, there was a man named George. One night, George was driving down the highway when he noticed that his car was almost out of gas. He didn't know if there was a gas station nearby, but he did know that he had an Uncle who lived nearby. He decided to see if he could stay with his Uncle.

He drove down the road until he noticed a mailbox with his last name on it. He realized that this must be his Uncle's house, so he turned into the driveway.

George got out of his car and knocked on the door. An old man opened the door and said, 'What do you want?'

'My name is George,' George explained. 'See, I think you're my Uncle, and I was wondering if I could stay here for the night?'

'Don't have any room,' the old man said, and he shut the door."

"Why did he do that, Uncle Emmett?" Nessie interrupted me.

"I don't know, honey," I replied, and continued with my story.

"George decided to try again. He knocked on the door again, and his uncle opened it once again.

'What do you want?'

'Are you sure you don't have any room?" George asked.

'Well, I guess you could stay in the barn. Follow me.'

George followed his uncle to the barn. They walked inside. George saw a bed in one corner, and a whole bunch of stuff in another corner.

'Thanks for letting me stay here,' George said.

'No problem. But before you go to bed, I need to show you something.'

He walked over to the corner where all of the stuff was and started to move all of the stuff. When it was all out of the way, he opened a trapdoor in the floor and went down the ladder. George followed.

At the bottom of the ladder was a huge metal door. The old man opened it and walked down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway was a wooden door. He opened the wooden door and went though. George followed.

The room was completely empty, except for a cage in the corner. In the cage, there was a giant gorilla."

"A gorilla?" Nessie giggled.

"Yeah, Shh, let me tell my story.


George was surprised. He had no idea why his uncle would have a giant gorilla under his barn.

The old man spoke, 'George, never come down here, and never ever touch the gorilla.'

'Alright,' George said.

His uncle went back through the wooden door, down the hallway, through the metal door, back up the ladder and through the trapdoor. George followed.

The uncle left the barn after putting all of the stuff back. George got into bed, but he couldn't fall asleep. He kept wondering why the gorilla was there, and what would happen if he touched it.

Finally, his curiosity got the better of him and he got out of bed. He removed all of the stuff and went through the trapdoor. He went through the metal door, down the hallway, and through the wooden door into the big room. He saw the gorilla with a big smile on it's face.

George thought that the gorilla looked really friendly. What harm could come to him from touching this gorilla? He decided that nothing would happen, so he lightly tapped the gorilla on the knee."

"Oh no," Nessie gasped.

"Shh, let me tell my story."

"It's not scary, is it?"

"No, it's funny," I assured her.

"The smile disappeared. The gorilla bent apart the bars of the cage until he had a big enough space to get out. George realized what was happening, and ran. He ran through the wooden door, but before he had gotten to the metal door, the gorilla had broken through the wooden door. George ran through the metal door and started to climb the ladder. Before he reached the top, the gorilla had broken through the metal door. George quickly climbed the ladder and got out of the trapdoor. He put all of the stuff back and darted across the room. Before he even got into his bed, the gorilla had broken through the floor.

George panicked. This gorilla was going to catch him, and maybe kill him. He didn't know where to go, so he ran outside."

"Uncle Emmett, you said it wasn't scary," Nessie whimpered.

"Its not."

"Yes it is. Don't tell me any more."

"Nessie, please," I reasoned, "Just let me finish. I promise it's funny."


"The gorilla followed George outside. George desperately needed somewhere to hide. Then he saw his car. It was the perfect hiding place, and he could drive away. He had to get away from this crazy gorilla.

He ran across the driveway and hopped into his car. He slammed the door and put the key in the ignition. He started the car, but before his could drive away, the gorilla picked up the car and ripped off the door.

George closed his eyes, waiting for the end. But the end never came. Instead, the gorilla tapped him lightly on the head and said, 'You're it.'"

When Nessie heard the ending to my story, she laughed so hard. When she was done laughing, I said, "See, it wasn't scary."

"No, it was really funny. That was the best story ever! Can you tell me another one?"

"Not tonight, kiddo. It's time for you to get to bed."