Disclaimer: M*A*S*H and its characters are not my property. Sonar is my property. AN: Not my best but it only came to mind.
No amount of rain could wash away the blood as a bomb had set off a chain reaction of fear. There was barely no time to respond and before they knew it, it happened so fast. He was in his tent on a rainy night, recalling those moments.
Father Mulcahy felt very traumatized as no one had time to escape. The priest had blood on his clothes as BJ saw him and ran over.
"Come on.", said Bj who was tugging on the priest's sleeve.
Everyone was moving back and forth, trying to find cover. When Mulcahy did not respond, Bj tugged him, leaving the bleeding body behind. A bomb had went off as people were covering their ears. It felt like he could hear nothing as BJ was trying to get a response. He could hear noises but it sounded like blurs. He could barely make out the figures of Sonar and Maraget who were ushering the nurses to move to the mess hall.
All he could see was the sight of blood and then he nearly passed out once they got into the messhall. He could not really recall anything but all he could feel was a hand touching his arm and of course he could not focus his vision.
He had no idea that it was Potter and Bj trying to get his attention. The last thing he really could recall was being tapped on the face and snapping out of it.
"Padre, are you all right?", asked Potter who raised an eyebrow in concern.
Bj could feel Father Mulcahy's arm shake. Father Mulcahy saw the blood and BJ kept him down as Potter ordered Bj to keep with him. He was not even aware that others were watching him.
As the rain poured down, he was still shaking, thinking about it. He was so used to the bodies but why did he feel scared now? He had nearly died today and all he could do was hold the cross to his chest and pray.
He had barely managed to get those blood soaked clothes off as he could see the same image of the person not far from him being killed. It was hard to recall if it was a bullet or a bomb but it was enough to cause him to shake.
He knew the war could be scary and that anyone can die at any time but even now, the reality of it set in. He couldn't even go to the O.R. where the surgeons were. He needed time to cope with what he saw.
The rain could be clearly heard but there was barely any thunder or lightning. All he could do was try and keep his mind off the matter but it was not easy.
A knocking sound snapped him out of his thoughts. He wasn't sure if he was ready for company.
"Yes?", he asked.
"May I come in?", questioned a female voice.
He nearly widened his eyes and almost looked away from the door. He knew who it was and was hesitant to let her in.
"Yes.", he replied against his own will.
The door opened and a familar face walked in. It wasn't Hawkeye but it was Sonar who was out of her surgery wear and in her rain jacket. She quickly closed the door and right away, he saw the concern that appeared in her eyes.
"It's terrible weather Father.", she spoke softly.
He could only nod as she looked at him. She lowered the hood of the rain jacket. She had heard about what happened but everyone was there to see it.
She asked," You thought it was Hawkeye didn't you?"
He knew that her and Hawkeye did not get along as well as she did with the others.
"No..Not really.", he replied.
He watched her take off her jacket and place it on the chair. She sighed softly.
"Anything wrong?", he asked.
She did not reply right away as she looked at him as he was sitting on his cot. She came over and sat down not far from him. The two friends were in the same room, listening to the rain.
"It was almost rough in there but we managed not to lose anyone yet.", she replied.
"Th--that's good.", he studdered.
She was maybe caught offguard because he would not really do that. She closed her eyelids and was already fighting back tears.
She told him," I wished that you were in there but after what happened, I was scared that I would lose you today."
He did agree with her as he at least got rid of the shaking but it was not easy to live with memories like that. She opened her eyelids.
"To be honest, I felt the same. I thought...", he trailed off as he looked down. The cross was by his chest as she saw a fist at his chest.
"Did I come at a bad time?"
"No...I'm just dealing with it still."
She nodded once and then waited to see what he would do next. Here he was a priest but would he confess what he felt at that instant. Sonar sighed.
She told him," It was so unexpected and we lost a few. When I could not see you, I got worried and was worried that you got hurt."
She fought to keep her feelings in. She was rather close to her childhood friend and now was not the time to lose him. Too many people needed him here. He moved a hand to his face and removed his glasses for a moment, rubbing his eyes as if to stop himself from crying.
"Are you all right?", she asked, almost jumping the gun.
He shook his head. His voice almost sounded weak.
"No...I still can't get the image out of my head. The image of all that blood and as that bomb exploded...", he started and trailed off again.
She knew how it felt to be near death since she also came in the war early. She wanted to move her hand as he rubbed his eyes a bit before placing his shades on.
"I don't mean to sound weak but I was just scared and thought that today would of been that day.", he said weakly.
He blinked his eyelids several times and finally undid the fist he had at his chest. Sonar finally moved her hand and touched his. He felt her touch and managed not to put up any facade. What he felt was real and even if he did tend to hide some things, fear was not always easy to hide.
"Father...", she trailed off but he cut her off before she could talk to him.
"I am so used to war and being near the front lines. Right now, I don't know if I can even keep calm even after what happened. The blood was on me and I couldn't do anything. Even if I could not save the poor soul, sometimes I think that I should of been that person.", he confessed.
She might of been shocked even further by that but some concern was on her face.
He continued," I know that we all had our fair share of near death but that is the closet I ever felt to death. I know that may sound crazy but even I know that I shouldn't be lingering on it."
He looked at her eyes, unsure of what they were saying.
"It is a scary thing and being near death is scary but I am not sure what would of happened if we lost you. I don't think I could of been able to live with it for not being there to help you.", she replied sadly, letting a single tear fall.
"I'm sure you may understand some of it but it's my experience. Something that I will have to take in and learn. I'm just so frustrated that we lost some people.", he told her as his other hand touched hers.
She ignored the cross necklace as he still looked uneasy.
"Will you be okay?", she asked him.
He answered," It might take a few days but once I accept it, I shall be all right."
It felt assuring as he saw her look a bit more relaxed.
"At least you did not get mad.", she joked.
"And why would I be? If I didn't want to be bothered, I would let anyone know.", he replied.
He felt a bit relieved by sharing his ordeal but he knew that she had been hurt. He knew how she can be. She knew that he was unpredictable now but no one can deny the fact that he become a stronger man.
Suddenly, the two heard silence as the rain seemed to have stop.
"The rain has stopped.", she told him.
He responded," You're right."
She got up to her feet almost but he raised an eyebrow.
"Why did you come anyways, Sonar?", he asked her as he released her hand.
A hint of amusement might of appeared as she got up to her feet. As she went to grab her jacket, she gave him an answer.
"It's because I miss you in the operation room and it's hard to focus when you're not there," she replied as if she was flirting with him.
He did not even catch onto it as he smiled softly.
"I couldn't stand to see you down. Besides, you always did help me when I felt down.", she continued while getting her jacket on.
She smirked and faced him as he got up, nearly dropping his necklace. He gripped it and walked over. A hug would of been suitable but he did not want to get soaked by her jacket. He still was not even changed into nightwear though.
"Thanks, Sonar.", he said.
"Your welcome and I hope you sleep well.", she told him.
She caught him offguard with a quick hug, causing him to be surprised. She moved away as he pats her arm.
"Goodnight.", he told her.
"You too.", she replied.
And with that, she nodded and departed ways with him. He saw the door close and he sighed. He knew that it would not be easy to sleep but he had to try for the camp's sake. He needed to let his own soul heal and get back to duty. And with that, he got changed into his nightwear and prayed before getting into bed. Tomorrow was only another day but some things will be there forever.